Why Would Someone Stalk You On Social Media But Leave Your Messages On Read?

It’s one of the most frustrating things ever: The person you’ve been chatting to loves to “like” your Instagram posts or comment on your Facebook status messages, but then when you text them, they never reply. What’s up with that? Here are 11 things that could explain why they would stalk you on social media but be radio silent in real life.

  1. They’re not serious about talking. Maybe they love having a quick chat on social media when they comment on your post and you end up engaging for a few seconds, but they don’t want anything more serious. They could just tell you this, but that would be too easy and polite, I suppose.
  2. They’re stalking you to keep up to date with your life. They’re nosy, in other words. They want to see what you’ve been up to and even “check in” on social media to ask about your latest story, but they don’t want to have consistent communication. This type of behavior is that of the classic ex who crawls out of the woodwork five months after your breakup to say “hey.”
  3. They’re curious about you. They might have felt an attraction when they first met you. Now they’re floating around your social media accounts because they’re curious about you and what you’re about. Still, it’s so weird to see them online and “liking” your stuff but not actually moving things forward. That’s the thing: they’re curious but not interested. And you’re wasting time and data for this?
  4. They don’t want you to know they’re checking you out. Social media faux pas happen— there the person was, going through all your pics and posts only to accidentally “like” one of them. Eek. Now that you’ve texted them to say hi, they’ve become silent. Maybe they’re embarrassed by how they slipped up because they didn’t want you to know they were looking you up.
  5. They’re crushing on you from afar. Maybe the person really likes you and they’re just taking a bit of time before communicating with you. You know, they want to see what you’re like and if there are any red flags on your social media. That’s cool, but this behavior shouldn’t last forever. They’ve got to actually make a move when it comes to having a chat if they’re worth your time and data.
  6. They’re keeping their options open. Ah, the classic person who floats around your social media accounts and checks things out but doesn’t want to actually engage with you properly because they’re checking out 10 other profiles at the same time. Ugh.
  7. They’re keeping things casual. They want to keep things casual, which usually means they’re having fun interacting on social media. They’re all about living in the moment, but this can be frustrating if you’re hoping for something more committed. You’re stressing about why they won’t talk to you and they’re blissfully unaware and having fun without even thinking about anything serious. That in itself is reason enough to back off and do something more productive with your time.
  8. They’re chasing the power seat. If the person is never available when you send a text but they’re always online, it could be that they’re playing hard to get. They might be hoping to let you chase them because it strokes their ego.
  9. They’re giving you breadcrumbs. While the person might be hoping to make you feel like you’re in dating purgatory while they take their time to get back to you, they’ll try to be smart by giving you small breadcrumbs. That is, small amounts of attention online in the form of “likes” so that they keep you hanging. Cut the strings already! If they can’t text, it’s time to scream, “Next!”
  10. They’re searching for friendship. Friends usually keep things light and casual, not potential partners. So if the person’s always resorting to this behavior, it’s a clear sign they want to be on friendly terms. If that’s cool with you, then don’t take their habits to heart. Be their friend.
  11. They’re ignoring you. Maybe they’re annoyed by how you’ve been chasing them to reply to your direct messages and that’s made them even more silent than usual. They’re just not ready to chat, and might never really want to. Time will tell when it comes to their intentions, but don’t wait around for this person to come around. Log yourself out of their dodgy network and go have some real fun instead. You deserve it.


Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.