As women, we’re sometimes guilty of undermining our own strength. We tend to play the victim or make ourselves seem less awesome than we really are, and the things we say sometimes have a negative effect on how other people view us. You may not even realize it, but certain things you say can make you sound really insecure. If you’ve ever uttered one of these sentences, stop now — you’re better than that.
- “I could never do that.” We see other people doing amazing things or taking huge risks in their lives and think that we could never be like them. Then, when someone suggests that we should try it, we reply with this classic phrase. If you’ve heard yourself saying those words before, stop it. Saying that you could never do something — when you probably totally could if you tried — makes you seem really unsure about yourself and your abilities. You can do anything you want. Believe that and act like it. It will make you sound a whole lot more confident.
- “Do you think she’s prettier than me?” Why would you ever ask your boyfriend/guy you like/anyone this question? Because if she is, you don’t want to know the answer and if she’s not, who cares? Her beauty doesn’t make you any less beautiful. Plus, you’re just putting the guy in an awkward position if he has to reply, so just cut the crap and stop asking him.
- “I’m not in the right place in my life.” Have you ever found yourself trying to explain why you’re not or can’t do something you’d really like to do? Chances are you’ve used this line before, claiming that you’re just “not in the right place” right now. Well, guess what — you’re never going to be in the right place, you just have to be on the right track. And when you say crap like that, it just makes you sound lame. Own your decisions and be proactive in your own life.
- “I don’t know.” I can’t tell you how annoying it is to ask someone a simple question like, “Where do you want to go for dinner?” and every time they reply with, “I don’t know.” Seriously, how can you never not know? If you say this all the time, you need to quit it right now. Be sure of yourself and what you want or don’t want, and if you really don’t know something, think about why that is and make an effort to change it.
- “Ugh, I’m so fat.” Stop. You’re not fat, you’re beautiful, and if you don’t believe it, you need to start telling yourself that you are every single day until you do believe it. Women who publicly put themselves down to anyone who will listen are just fishing for a compliment or reassurance so they can feel better about themselves. Your self-worth shouldn’t be based on anything anyone says or doesn’t say. You’re worth more than that.
- “Why can’t I find any good guys?” Complaining about not being in a relationship and not finding any guys to date just makes you sound pathetic, and it makes it seem like there’s something wrong with you that you’re so lonely and desperate. It doesn’t make you seem confident, so stop saying it. Suck it up and realize that maybe the reason you aren’t finding good guys is because of your attitude. Negativity is never going to make you more attractive to the opposite sex.
- “I don’t mean to brag, but…” Let’s be honest, people who say that really are trying to brag. They just don’t want to sound too much like they are. You’re trying to hide the fact that you’re showing off and trying to draw attention to yourself. It’s not making you sound humble; it’s making you sound annoying. If you’re proud of an accomplishment, own it, but don’t let your ego take over.
- “My life is so boring.” Is it really that boring? Chances are, it’s not, and if it is, saying that will just make you sound lame. No one wants to hang out with someone who has so little going on that they’re constantly bored. If you’re not happy, find things that will make you happy. Look for a new hobby or set out to discover a new passion. Fill your time with things that make you feel alive and enrich your life and you’ll never be bored.
- “Tell me you love me.” I don’t know if it get’s any more insecure than that. I mean, you’re not just asking him if he loves you but giving him a blatant command to tell you that he does. That’s like the ultimate low. Be confident in your relationship and if he tells you he loves you, that’s awesome. But if he hasn’t said it yet, it’s either too early in your relationship or you need to end things. Either way, demanding declarations of love is never going to work out.
