Why Dating Turns You Into A Crazy Person Even Though You’re Normally Calm And Collected

Generally speaking, you consider yourself to be pretty level-headed. You’ve got a good head on your shoulder and rarely lose your cool. However, all of that logic goes right out the window when you start dating. In fact, it turns you into a complete crazy person. Why does this happen? Here are some possible explanations.

  1. You’re running from the past. If you have some toxic exes in your relationship résumé, it’s only natural that you might feel a little defensive or jaded when you start a new relationship. You’re basically expecting the new person in your life to be the same as the previous people you dated. It might be a good idea to take some time for yourself before getting into a new relationship so you gain a bit more perspective.
  2. You’ve been silent for a long time. If you’ve been crushing on someone hard but you haven’t said anything and you’re super scared that you’ll be rejected, this can make you internalize all that anxiety and fear. The result? You give off a bit of a clingy or crazy vibe.
  3. You’re getting mixed messages. Hey, being “crazy” might not be because of something that’s going on with you. It could be because of how the person’s treating you. If the guy you’re dating is always sending you mixed messages to drive you crazy, then you might start to feel crazy. This is because you don’t know where you stand or where the guy’s at, both of which are frustrating.
  4. You’re an anxious dater. You might not be someone who can smile and be casual, and that’s okay. You want to know where the relationship is going. You don’t want to waste your time. But, if you don’t keep that anxiety in check, it can make you seem “crazy.”
  5. You’re scared of being hurt. One of the biggest factors that can make you feel crazy in the dating game is if you’re terrified of getting your heart broken. This can make you suspicious of everything your partner does in an attempt to prevent yourself from being blindsided. The risk of doing this is that you push people away.
  6. You’re pulling back. Being a little unavailable at times can help you when it comes to showing the person you’re dating that you’re not making them the center of your life or waiting around for anyone. However, it can become toxic (and land you the “crazy” girlfriend label). For example, if you play hot and cold with the guy or make him jump through hoops in a manipulative way, that’s a serious problem.
  7. You feel out of control. You might wonder why you’re so confident in the workplace or in your social circle while in dating you lack confidence and feel like an anxious wreck. Well, think about it: you’re not in control of the dating game. You don’t really know what to expect, or you might be expecting the worst-case scenarios. This can mess with your head and make you feel nuts.
  8. You’re putting up too many expectations. If you go into dating with a clear, relaxed head, you can have fun and make the most of what happens. But, if you go in with a shopping list of what you want and what your future partner needs to do to make you happy, you’re setting yourself up for drama and lots of stress.
  9. You’re chasing your relationship goals too fast. If you have set yourself some dating milestones you have to reach, such as being in a serious relationship by the age of 27 and being married by 30, this could be a problem. Look, it’s good to have a plan but you might be pushing it too hard, which is causing you to have tunnel vision. You’re only focused on what you want to achieve, so you end up missing out on the fun.
  10. You’re not putting up with crap. You’ve had your fair share of dating drama and quite frankly you’re tired of it. This makes you enter new relationships with a tough-as-hell approach. While this feels good because you’re really showing yourself and your partners you’re not going to be walked over, it might be misinterpreted as being a little OTT, like if you’re breaking people down, being defensive and/or bitter, or acting like a diva.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.