How To Be The Girl Who Not Only Gets The Guy, But Keeps Him

Getting the guy isn’t usually mission impossible. It’s easy to get a guy for one night or a few months of casual dating even, but if you’re looking for something a little more long-term, it takes a little extra something to keep a guy’s attention and cultivate a relationship that will last. What’s the use in being a girl who gets the guy if you can never manage to keep him?

  1. Stay positive even when it’s easier to see the worst in situations. No one likes to be around someone who’s always negative about everything. Most people are a lot more attractive when they have a smile on their face or they’re laughing, so make a conscious effort to look on the bright side more often and it’s likely to rub off on the guy you’re with.
  2. Have your own life. When a woman who doesn’t have friends or interests of her own, it’s a giant red flag for most guys. It means she’s going to be clingy and need a lot of attention. There’s no reason you need to be attached to your boyfriend’s hip at all times — it’s actually a lot better for both of you and your relationship if you have some separate interests and spend some time apart every once in a while.
  3. Love yourself even more than you love him. Before you can expect a guy to want you, you have to believe you’re worthy. That means being at least mostly comfortable with how you look, who you are and what you have to offer. We all have insecurities, but guys are attracted to women with confidence, so if you love yourself, he’ll be more likely to love you too.
  4. Be honest about what you want. Ending up with a guy who isn’t really right for you shouldn’t be considered an accomplishment. In the long run, it’s better to be single than with someone who doesn’t want the same things as you, so be honest about what you’re looking for and you’ll be more likely to find a guy who’s on the same page. Plus, there’s a lot better chance he’ll stick around.
  5. Be adaptable. Unexpected things are always going to happen, so instead of being completely inflexible and rigid, just go with the flow. So what if your date unexpectedly turns into a double date with your boyfriend’s cousin and his wife? It might be fun! Plus, your guy will definitely appreciate your laid back attitude.
  6. Care about your health. You don’t have to be a certain body type in order to be healthy. As long as you make an effort to eat the best diet for your body’s unique needs and stay active, you’re on the right track. This conveys the message that you value your health and your future, and what guy wouldn’t be attracted to that?
  7. Give as much as you take. Don’t be one of those girls who sits back and expects to be catered to 24/7. No guy who is worth being with would put up with that anyway. A relationship should be a partnership, so if you expect him to be affectionate, thoughtful and generous, it’s only fair that you give him the same in return.
  8. Make an effort with his friends and family. If the important people in his life like you, that’s one big check mark in your favor. Why not go the extra mile and actually try to get to know his sister? Spend time with his friends even if he’s not around? You don’t have to force yourself on them, but putting in a little extra effort will go a long way and you might even make a really good friend or two.
  9. Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not. Pretending to like football and camping more than you actually do might catch a guy’s interest at first, but eventually, he’s going to figure out you’d rather stay in a hotel than sleep on the ground. Besides, you don’t have to have all the same interests. He’ll be fine with going camping with his friends the majority of the time — trust me.
  10. Appreciate the little things. Guys like when their nice gestures are acknowledged and appreciated. If you just expect certain things from him but never give him any positive reinforcement, he’s probably going to stop trying. You might not need him to solve your problems, but he’s usually just trying to help, so give him a little credit for caring enough to attempt to make your life a little easier.
  11. Be there for him. Guys need emotional support just as much as girls do. They just might not be as good at asking for it. Whether he needs you to listen to his rant about his terrible co-worker or get excited with him when he scores tickets to his team’s first playoff game, caring about the things he cares about will definitely set you apart as the kind of girl he wants to keep around long term.
  12. Be open minded about sex. Sex drive is a fickle thing. But as long as you’re open to trying new things, you’ve got a leg up on all the starfish types out there. Most guys count enthusiasm as the most important factor in having great sex, so use that to your advantage.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.