As you get older, being single becomes more of a big deal. You may be perfectly content with your job, your friends, your family, and your Netflix addiction, but at the end of the day, you want someone special right there beside you. Finding love is never easy, but worrying about it never solved anything. If you’re stressing out about finding “The One” and wondering if it will ever happen for you, it’s time to stop.
Your single status has nothing to do with it. The best love stories are the ones when both parties were alone for years and then, boom, they find each other and the rest is adorable, super romantic history. Even if you’re totally sick of being single and are starting to think it may never change, know that it will. If you keep at it, you will meet your person.
The One is not always super clear right away. Sometimes you know from the moment you lay eyes on someone that they’re the right person for you. Other times (and way more commonly), it takes several months to realize this is an amazing, healthy relationship. A lot of people are unsure about someone on the first dinner date and decide to take a chance, only to find this is the person for them, no question about it. Another reason to go on that second date, right?
Desperation is never a good look. When you start thinking about how much you want to have a significant other, there’s an unfortunate side effect: you start looking and acting pretty desperate. You want someone to be dying to be with you because you’re awesome, not because you’re on the hunt for a boyfriend.
There’s a difference between love and your idea of it. Sure, some of us are more romantic than others, but it’s important to see the difference between the idea of love and real love. Love as a concept is just that. Real love can be your boyfriend remembering an off-hand comment you made on your first date, taking care of you when you’ve got an epic cold, bringing you that weird food combo you crave. Don’t stress out so much about finding “The One” that you forget that true love is unplanned and always unique.
You could fall in love tomorrow. OK, maybe not tomorrow, but it could happen. The best part about life is that you never know what the future will bring, so why worry about something that will eventually happen, and likely when you least expect it? Cliches exist for a reason, you know.
You’re doing everything right. It’s easy to think you’re dating wrong or have no idea what you’re doing, but the fact is that no one has any idea what’s going on – just look at how much anxiety texting produces. If you’re actively dating, then congrats, you’re doing all that you can to bring love into your life.
You might have a lot of Ones. No one said that you have to stay with the next person you date forever. Sure, that might happen, and it would definitely be awesome to never have to go on an awkward first date ever again. But maybe you’ll have a few more relationships before you find the right guy, and in that case, you might not have the traditional idea of “The One” – that magical, mysterious, elusive person – but a whole bunch of people that have meant a lot to you. That’s OK, too.
Your life is pretty great. Love is an important part of life, and hopefully you’ll find that magical romance in your lifetime. In the meantime, you have it pretty good, right? If you wake up in the morning excited to get to work, if you have meaningful friendships, if you’re actively following your dreams, then there’s no reason to be upset about not having met someone yet.
You’re learning a lot. Every Tinder chat, every dull first date, every story your BFF tells you – these are all learning experiences, and you’re stronger and smarter than ever before. You know what you want and who would be your ideal person and you’ll be all in once you meet them. Don’t discount this time – it’s better to be single and learn from every failed romance than be stuck in a loveless relationship or marriage for years.
Somewhere, someone’s waiting for you. It could be tomorrow, it could be next month, it could be in a year, but one day you’re going to head to your local bar for another first date. That person will be just like you – a bit nervous and anxious but, mostly, hopeful despite all those bad experiences. Isn’t it pretty cool to think that someone could be out there, stressing out about finding the one, too, and then the two of you will meet and fall in love? So hang in there.
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