You’re looking for a long-term partner so you’d like to know sooner rather than later if your guy sees a future with you. You can ask him straight up… or you can be on the lookout for these 12 signs.

He plays the “what if?” game. When talking about the future, he sometimes likes to ask you “what if?” questions. For example, “What if you got a chance to move to LA—would you go?” Or, “What if you decided to get married—would you elope?” He’s asking you these things to get to know you, sure, but they have a deeper meaning. He wants to feel out how your future blends with his.

He says “our” and “we.” Note how he speaks about the future and present. When he talks about things he wants to achieve, does he say, “I want to live in that house” or “I see myself starting that new job overseas”? Or, does he prefer to phrase things with “we” and “our”? The latter points to him picturing a future with you.

He invites you to meet his extended family. Meeting his folks and siblings usually points to the guy being serious about you, but when he wants you to meet his estranged uncle or cousin who’s getting married (you get an invite to the wedding too?), he wants you to know everyone on his side, which means he’s locking you down into a future! A guy who sees your relationship as a short-term thing isn’t going to introduce you to everyone, even people he doesn’t really speak to often.

He asks for your advice on big issues. When he confides in you and asks for your opinions on things that matter on the big scale, such as the type of person he wants to be and what he wants to achieve, he wants you by his side for the big future!

He talks about your future self. He might say that you’d make a great mom or be a gorgeous bride. These comments might happen in passing when you’re talking about other things, but they mean a lot.

He’s changing himself. For the better, that is! A man who wants to rise up to your relationship expectations and be who you need to be happy is a man who’s making effort for the future. He wants to keep you around for as long as possible, preferably forever.

He makes an effort with your crazy uncle. You have some relatives that can be difficult to deal with—hey, families can be crazy—but your boyfriend never complains about them. He doesn’t try to get out of seeing them, either. He’s always willing to visit them and be respectful. This is a huge sign that he’s putting in the work to ensure that you keep him in your life.

He tells you how much his family loves you. He regularly mentions that his cousin thinks you’re awesome or his dad really gets along with you. He might even go one step further to express the value you bring to his family members. Hello, this guy’s basically saying you fit into his family, so he’s obviously thinking long-term.

He cares about what’s important to your future. He doesn’t just think of the future in terms of your relationship goals. He cares about what you want out of life and he supports you in how you chase down your goals. This is super important because it shows that he’s invested in things that you care about. Only a guy who’s serious about you will do that.

He buys you a pet. He could buy you a potted plant or a teddy bear, but if he brings home a living, breathing pet, he’s in the relationship for the long haul. It’s a huge sign that you’re extending your family. Just think: you’re going to look after it and walk it together. It’s an expression of your love for each other and a huge responsibility.

He shares his passwords. He doesn’t have to share his passwords with you—some things can be private. But if he’s cool with sharing passwords to his social media and assets, the guy’s trust in you is on another level. He’s basically treating you like his wife.

He’s an open book. One of the most telling signs that the guy sees a long-term future with you is that he’s open with you about everything. He doesn’t have to hide his friends, activities, hobbies, or anything else from you. In fact, he loves to share about his life and talk to you about what he’s feeling or thinking. Make sure you reciprocate!

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