Everything seems fine on the surface, but deep down, something feels off with someone. It might be a subtle eye roll, a slight change in tone, or the way they never seem genuinely happy for you. If you’re picking up on these negative vibes, it’s possible there’s hidden resentment lurking beneath the surface. Thankfully, learning to read those subtle signals can save you a lot of confusion and hurt.
1. They never invite you to things.
It may seem like something that only 12-year-olds keep track of, but everyone gets FOMO sometimes. It’s noticeable when other people start making a habit of “forgetting” to invite you to events. It’s a crushing feeling to hear all your other friends talk about the previous night’s activity when you weren’t there. Once or twice, you can dismiss it as an accident, but if you’re being left by the wayside more frequently than that, it’s a sign that they may resent you.
2. They always make jokes at your expense.
Laughing at each other is a natural part of friendship. However, when you aren’t that close with someone and they continue to poke fun at your insecurities, it highlights that they don’t actually care about your feelings.
3. They point out if you’ve done something wrong.
Insecure people can only feel good about themselves by bringing other people down. If one “friend” starts pointing out all of your mistakes, it’s because they want to be above you in the social standings — and they’re willing to do anything to make it happen. For whatever reason, they want to bring you down.
4. They never celebrate you.
We all have some fair-weather friends who only emerge from hibernation to ask for a favor. If you look deeper, it goes beyond being self-involved. They’re only asking what happened at your work performance review because they expect to have done better than you. They never want to see you succeed.
5. They never listen to you.
Usually, having a conversation with another person and listening to their problems and life updates is a sign of basic respect and human understanding. When someone only uses you to trauma dump or boast, it could be a sign that they resent you. They’re happy to drop all their problems on you, but they certainly don’t want to hear about yours.
6. They only deal in backhanded compliments.
People who are threatened by you and resent your successes will never want to give you a real compliment because they fear that other people will think you’re better than them. If their hand is forced and they have to say something nice to you, there’s usually an insult in there somewhere.
7. They find subtle ways of excluding you.
Maybe it’s a rhetorical device like, “Oh you wouldn’t know Darlene, would you?” or, “You weren’t hanging out with us then, right?” Both are designed to remind everyone present that your position in the group is somehow less stable.
8. They see you as a threat.
It might be that you’re both seen as the “funny one” or you joined the group later and turned some heads. When friends or colleagues see you as competition or as a threat, they will find ways of undermining your performance. Be warned.
9. They make no effort to learn about you.
When someone resents you, they may engage in brief small talk, but beyond that, they barely know anything about your life. They will call your partner “whatstheirface” and constantly ask if the dog you don’t have is still “alive and kicking.” They make it known that they don’t know or care much about you at all.
10. They gossip about you.
When people really resent you, you will feel it less in the direct interactions you have with them, and see it more in what gets reported back to you from your loyal friends. Gossip is the result of jealousy, resentment, and insecurity.
11. They crave the attention you get naturally.
You may fly through life working hard and constantly evolving, but to other people, it can seem like things come easily to you. People may come to resent that part of you that is charismatic and attracts attention. You’ll see it in their body language and sour expressions.
12. They try to one-up you in everything.
A friendship with someone who resents you will never involve vulnerability or compassion; it will always be a competition of who is more perfect. They’ll always be chasing for ways to outdo or undermine you, to the point that it takes over your entire relationship.
13. They always copy you.
It may be that imitation is the highest form of flattery, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying when it happens. There’s always an edge to mimicking behavior when someone who does it resents you — it feels more like an attack or insult.
14. They take credit for your recommendations.
When people want to put you down or steal your thunder, some resentful people will go as far as to take credit for your cool bar recommendations, restaurant choices, or opinions about films. It’s because they are jealous of how well-rounded you are and they’re trying to claim it for themselves.
15. They never spend time with you.
The silence is always very telling when the group chat is fire but you never get private messages from certain people. It shows that they will perform friendship with you when convenient, but it’s never anything more than that.
16. They don’t share anything about their life.
Sharing information about your life is a cherished part of friendship, but when people stop telling you about their life — or asking about yours — it highlights that they have come to dislike or resent you.
17. They never smile at you.
It’s sometimes the little, subtle signs like someone’s body language or expressions that tell you the most about their feelings towards you. If they don’t smile when you’re around, it’s because they aren’t relaxed around you, see you as a threat, or simply resent your presence.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
