So you’ve found yourself in the doghouse yet again? You might be here because you’ve noticed signs that the woman in your life has been unsatisfied with you lately. She might not have said it directly and even denied it if you ask, but there are plenty of subtle signs that something isn’t right. To be safe, we rounded up a list of potential signals she might be sending that you need to make things right with her sooner rather than later.
1. She isn’t very talkative.
Usually, when a woman is upset, the conversation is the first thing to suffer. If she’s not as willing to tell you about her day or chat with you as usual, this can be a telltale sign that something is on her mind. Prompting her to talk might end up with you getting the cold shoulder, but it’s better than ignoring her and making her shut herself off even more.
2. She seems annoyed.
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Is it you, or is she shutting the car door a little too hard? Whether it’s slamming a door, being snappy, or giving you sass, her temper is more likely to flare up when she’s harboring resentment. Whatever she’s dealing with inside doesn’t have anywhere to go, so it comes out in strange places. It’s important you pay close attention because it could hint at how she’s generally feeling about the relationship.
3. She isn’t making eye contact.
If she’s avoiding your eyes, it’s because she knows you’ll see her genuine emotions. While you’d think that’s a good thing, so many women are labeled as overly emotional so they find ways to hide their feelings. But here’s the thing: eyes are the window to the soul and it’s hard for her to hide the anger and sadness behind them.
4. When she smiles, it seems forced.
You two are having dinner. Your lady seems slightly down, so you try to crack a joke to lift her spirits, and you’re met with a forced smile. If she’s having trouble giving you a genuine smile, it could be because she thinks you don’t deserve it. When she’s mad at you, it can be challenging for her to give any positive reinforcement. She’s sending subconscious clues she wants you to pick up on; if you don’t, it’s your loss.
5. She’s sighing for seemingly no reason.
The sigh is a woman’s cry for help. If a woman sighs, it could be another way of letting her big feelings surface. The sigh may not happen at the same time as the event that upset her, but it can be a sign she’s feeling down or needs comfort. If she gives you this sign, she may try to start a conversation, but only if you respond to her cue.
6. She’s trying to distance herself from you physically.
If you notice that your lady isn’t giving you as much physical attention, like if she loves holding your hand and cuddling and suddenly stops, it could be her way of letting you know she’s not happy. Her lack of touchy-feely energy isn’t because she’s tired or had a long day, it’s likely something deeper. It’s your job to investigate.
7. She’s fidgeting with her nails or clothes.
Fidgeting is a way of defusing energy, and a ticked-off woman has plenty of that. A woman on edge may pick or bite her nails or play with a toy with a loose thread on her sweater. She will probably also focus all her attention on the task, doing something to keep busy to avoid conversation.
8. Her texting has changed.
Are you getting short texts? Maybe you’re getting left on seen for a day or two? Perhaps she’s busy, but more likely, she’s withdrawing from you to show unhappiness. The hope is that her low-effort texts and passive-aggressive “k”s will prompt you to either stop texting her or put more effort into winning her back. Send her some fun or flirty texts to try to break the ice, but avoid double texting — no need to look desperate.
9. She finds reasons to dodge affectionate gestures.
Nothing hurts more than going in for a kiss with your honey and her brushing you off. Ouch. The reason she gives for doing so may be innocent enough, but if it happens multiple times, there might be a reason she does not want to be affectionate with you. The lack of warmth can extend past physical gestures; if you bring her flowers and all she says is a curt “thanks,” or you offer her dinner, and she declines, you may be in the doghouse.
10. She’s asking some weird questions.
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One more aggressive tactic a woman might employ to let you know she’s unhappy with you is asking leading questions. Things like “Did you see anyone interesting when you were at the bar the other night?” or “How are things with that one coworker?”. It might be annoying that she doesn’t confront you directly, but pay close attention to her questions because they may lead you to what she’s actually upset about.
11. She questions you for checking in on her.
When you ask your girl what’s going on with her or how she’s feeling, she may get defensive. There’s a chance that when it comes to conflict, she has a too-little-too-late mentality—she’ll refuse to accept your care and concern if she’s been without it for too long. She may accuse you of not actually caring or be skeptical of the reason that you’re finally trying to figure out what’s going on with her.
12. She’s spending more time with friends or family.
The lady in your life may feel she’s not getting support from you so she looks elsewhere. Instead of waiting around for you, she may choose to see other members of her support network such as family or close friends. Additionally, women value domestic peace, so after a week or so of ongoing negative energy, she might leave the house to create space so she can avoid conflict or hostile emotions.
13. She desyncs your schedules.
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In my household, my partner and I always go to bed together. It’s a way of trying to sync our schedules. It allows us to connect physically and emotionally before bed, and it stands as one of the sweetest gestures of commitment in our relationship. Quality time is a love language, so if your partner regularly stays up late while you sleep or gets up early and leaves to work before you rise, they could be avoiding showing you love due to some unresolved bad blood.
14. She isn’t putting as much effort in.
If you have rituals like texting each other good morning or goodnight or agreeing to schedule a date night once a week, and she starts not to honor those rituals, you may have a problem. It can be frustrating to see her growing distant from you and not putting in the same effort, but she probably views what she’s doing as a way of mirroring you. Her neglect is a reflection of perceived neglect from her partner.
15. She seems preoccupied.
She may seem spaced out and deep in thought, or she might throw all her energy into a new venture. Either way, she’s trying to avoid you and not talk about whatever conflict is under the surface. Being busy or unavailable is a coping mechanism; it’s a wall she can put up to protect her feelings. Be warned, she’s only putting up these walls so that you will knock them down. She wants you to take the initiative; she’s just not going to make it easy for you.
16. She only acts upset when you two are alone.
You and your honey have a guest over for dinner, and while your dinner guest is in, she’s her usual bright, bubbly self. However, she’s back to pouting on the couch the second they leave. What could it mean? If her sour mood is directed at you only, it’s a pretty good indicator. Your lady may not be so upset that she wants to make a big deal of it in front of the company, but she is upset enough that she wants you to acknowledge the rift.
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