No one sets out to get into a relationship with someone who’s less than mentally stable, but many people end up finding out way too late that they’re dealing with someone who’s totally unhinged. Here’s how to spot a psychopath so you can hopefully avoid them before they cause any damage.
1. They couldn’t care less about anyone else’s feelings.
Whether you’re hurt, sad, angry, frustrated, happy, or any other emotion, a psychopath really isn’t bothered. In fact, oftentimes, your feelings are nothing more than an inconvenience to them. They have no interest in comforting you or cheering you on because that only distracts them from their focus on themselves. They have a serious lack of empathy and this often leaves you feeling misunderstood, neglected, and emotionally drained.
2. They lie. A lot.
This is one of the easiest ways to spot a psychopath — they often tend to be pathological liars. From big lies about where they’re from and what they do for a living to the tiniest, most pointless lies about what they ate for lunch or what movie they’re watching, they find it nearly impossible to tell the truth. Half the time, they don’t even realize they’re being dishonest — it just comes naturally to them.
3. They try to turn people against each other.
A psychopath hates seeing harmony around them. They thrive in discord, tension, and awkwardness. If none exists, they take it upon themselves to create it. They often gossip and stir the pot, spreading lies or rumors in order to cast doubt on other people. They love nothing more than seeing everyone around them at odds, especially if they can posit themselves as the neutral hero and beacon of goodness at the center of all the drama.
4. They never feel guilty for anything they do wrong.
Even if it’s extremely clear that they did something deliberately inappropriate or hurtful, don’t expect an apology for them. You can always spot a psychopath by their complete and utter lack of remorse for the things they do wrong (and believe me, they are many). Instead, they insist “is it what it is” or that they can’t change who they are to justify their bad behavior. It’s incredibly frustrating for anyone who has to deal with them.
5. They’re extremely aggressive when angry.
A lot of people have anger issues, but a psychopath has such a short fuse that it becomes scary when it blows. Even the most minor inconvenience can send them into a rage, leading them to throw things, hit walls, or even threaten violence against you or other people around them. If they can’t control their anger (and their anger isn’t even warranted half the time), there’s something seriously troubling going on.
6. They’re charming, but only superficially.
When you first met them, they were super charismatic, funny, flirty, and great to be around. However, the more time you spend with them, the more the mask begins to slip and their real self comes through. No matter how well they present themselves to people they only know tangentially, in private, they’re completely toxic and have none of the qualities that make them so well-liked by people who have no idea what they’re really like behind closed doors.
7. They’re not afraid of taking serious risks.
Taking risks can be really rewarding, especially when they’re calculated and have potential payoffs that will better your life’s circumstances. However, a psychopath takes unnecessary risks that are dangerous, ill-conceived, and downright stupid sometimes all because they live for the thrill. Don’t be surprised if they do things that could easily kill them (or someone else). They have little regard for their own life or anyone else’s, so they see no problem with this behavior.
8. They have narcissistic tendencies.
Not all psychopaths are narcissists, but many of them are. They can be incredibly self-involved and even self-obsessed, putting themselves on such a high pedestal that literally no one or nothing else matters. They live solely to serve themselves, and anyone who doesn’t fall in line and do the same is immediately dubbed the enemy. They expect the world to revolve around them and when it doesn’t, anyone in their vicinity had better watch out.
9. They’re incredibly impulsive and don’t think things through.
There’s nothing wrong with being spontaneous and up for adventure, but mature adults recognize that a bit of thoughtfulness and intention needs to go into the big decisions you make in life. For a psychopath, that never happens. They will do whatever it is they feel like doing in the moment, never considering the consequences for themselves or anyone around them. They have little impulse control and often fly by the seat of their pants, for better or worse.
10. They don’t take responsibility for their actions.
This is one of the most frustrating elements of dealing with a psychopath. Not only will they not apologize when they mess up, but they will never admit they’ve messed up in the first place. To avoid accountability, they cast blame on everyone around them and play the victim to garner pity and sympathy from others. Their lack of ownership isn’t just obnoxious, it’s toxic.
