The #1 Trait That Makes Men Not Trust Women Is Kinda Bonkers

The foundation of any solid relationship is trust — that much is obvious. And while it’s definitely something that’s earned over time as you get to know someone and prove yourself as a reliable and honest person, there also has to be a base lack of skepticism when you first start dating someone that they’re in it for the right reasons, just like you. Some people wave massive red flags pretty quickly that let you know they’re sketchy as hell, but you might be surprised to learn the one thing that makes men automatically not trust women they meet via dating apps: being too hot.

  1. We all wanna look amazing, right? When you create a dating app profile, you want to put your best foot forward in every sense of the word. That means you take the time to craft a detailed, honest, and funny bio and you also upload the cutest photos of you. There are plenty, of course, but you want your potential matches to see you at peak hotness.
  2. Men don’t trust you if you look too good. Yes, really. While most guys seem preoccupied with appearance, they don’t actually like it if you’re too hot. According to a 2015 study out of the University of Connecticut, if your photos make you look too gorgeous, they immediately distrust you.
  3. Hotness has negative connotations in men’s minds. According to the researchers behind the study, while you put on makeup and do your hair to feel good in your own skin, guys associate it with narcissism, self-obsession, and deceit.
  4. How the hell did they come to that conclusion? Well, the study involved 153 straight men and 152 straight women between 17 and 36. Men looked at photos of women, some of which had been “enhanced” to look more made-up, while some had a more low-maintenance look. Men thought the enhanced pictures were more attractive, but they rated the women in them as less trustworthy.
  5. It’s not that they don’t want an attractive woman, it’s that they don’t believe she’s really that pretty. The guys were very honest in their assessment of the female. They say I do find her more attractive and I do find her less trustworthy and I am OK with it,” said study author Rory Gloin. “Males are so used to seeing women who have been Photoshopped and edited [in society] and they are just skeptical that maybe she’s not really that good-looking.” Looks like we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t, ladies!
  6. The opposite was true for women. When they looked at photos of attractive guys, they also believed they were more reliable and dependable without knowing anything else about them but how they looked. This is down to the “halo effect” — in other words, assuming that because something looks good, it must be good. I think we all know what a big mistake that often turns out to be!
Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.