These Relationship Red Flags Should Be Obvious

When you’re excited about a new relationship, there are certain things you’re willing to let slide. You decide they’re not dealbreakers, per se, and you deal. Not these. Whether you’re in a new relationship or an old one, these are 10 big ass crimson flags you could probably see from space.

  1. He’s jealous of any and all male attention you receive — even from your brother.Your boyfriend shouldn’t freak out if you have and interact with male friends or male coworkers. He should realize and understand that throughout your day, you’re going to interact with many, many people, some of whom are gonna be dudes, and trust you.
  2. He keeps pictures of his ex up in his apartment.Unless his ex is the deceased mother of his children, he shouldn’t have any photos of her hanging around. It’s weird. It says pretty clearly that he hasn’t fully moved on. How can he be present with you when there’s a framed photo of him and his ex on his dresser?
  3. Time and time again, he chooses his friends over you — even on birthdays and anniversaries.Of course he’s allowed to have guys’ nights out and a social life that isn’t dependent upon yours, and you’re allowed to have ladies’ nights. But if you find it’s impossible to schedule a date with him because he’s always with his bros, that’s a problem. It shows he’s not entirely ready to be an adult and commit to you.
  4. He tries to control how you dress, do your makeup, and your personal grooming habits.You should never let anyone try to change you against your desires, and that includes personal style. If he insists that you always have to leave the house in a dress with your make up perfectly done, that’s alarming. And if he throws a tantrum about your body hair, it’s time to say goodbye. You are not a Barbie doll, you’re a grown woman.
  5. He drops off the grid, consistently, for days at a time.Your boyfriend shouldn’t disappear from the face of the planet — I don’t care how busy he is. If days go by and he can’t even send a text, he’s at best a ditzy jerk, and at worst, a shady a-hole.
  6. He lets his parents run his life.Unless you’re dating a 10-year-old, there’s no reason why your boyfriend’s parents should be running his life. If his parents have access to his bank account and a key to his house (and are ALWAYS “just stopping by”), then it’s clear he’s chosen them over any potential romantic and meaningful adult relationship.
  7. You have no idea where he lives because he refuses to invite you over.I mean, obviously if you’ve been dating for one week, you don’t need to flip out and demand a link to his address on Google maps. But if you’ve been going out for a while and he always deflects when you ask him about his living situation, that’s strange. It means he’s hiding something.
  8. He guards his phone with his life.Sure, we all like having some privacy, and I’m not saying he should give you his phone password. But if he always has to talk — or even text — in private, that is, you guessed it, a RED FLAG.
  9. He refuses to compromise.Do you find that you’re always doing things he wants to do, down to what you watch on Netflix? We all know by now that relationships are all about compromise. Someone who won’t compromise is someone who isn’t ready to be in a relationship. RED FLAG.
  10. He doesn’t respect you.You know, sometimes it’s not always clear if you’re being disrespected. You might even shrug it off if you think you are, worried that you’re being too sensitive. Here’s the deal: if you frequently feel small because of his words and/or actions, you’re being disrespected. If he makes fun of your interests, hobbies, desires, dreams, and hopes in ways that are mean, he’s disrespecting you. That’s a RED FLAG and that’s something you don’t deserve
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles, California. Her favorite thing to do is eat, sleep, and repeat. If you enjoy reading about dating and Los Angeles and pop culture, check out her book, "I Forgot To Be Famous."