As much as women would like to think they can read a man’s mind, they can’t. Men can’t read women’s minds either, so it’s a level playing field. However, it’d be nice to know how men think half the time because it would make it easier to understand where they’re coming from. Let’s dive into men’s minds and talk about everything women should know about what they’re thinking.
1. Men don’t like to ask for help.
Most of the time in a relationship, men don’t like having to ask their spouse for help. They believe that they are the protector and the provider, and therefore, believe that it’s their job to help their wife—not the other way around. They also love the satisfaction of having done and completed a task themselves. This probably sounds familiar: your husband knows that he’s not good at writing emails, but he doesn’t like to ask for help, he waits until you offer.
2. Men like being problem solvers.
Think about the last time you sat down with your husband and talked to him about something that you’re going through. You offloaded your feelings and emotions to him, hoping he’d be a sympathetic, listening ear. However, he instead shifted straight into problem-solving mode, telling you what he thinks you should do to get through it. You don’t want him to solve your problem; you want him to listen—but he thinks through issues by trying to find a solution.
3. They like being complimented.
Usually, it’s women who like being complimented, like when their husband notices they’re wearing a new dress, or have made an effort on date night. You may not think so, but men also like being complimented. Next time, tell him he looks good too, or compliment his culinary skills when he cooks dinner.
4. Most men can’t multitask.
It’s common knowledge that men aren’t very good at multitasking. Think about it, when was the last time you saw your husband talking on the phone while cooking dinner and feeding the dog? He most likely stopped making dinner and stepped out to take the call, then fed the dog after you’d sat down and had dinner.
5. He wants to be treated like a man.
Every man has a different degree of masculinity that they like to portray to those around them. Some are more sensitive and in touch with their feminine side, while others prefer to show a hard outer shell. Whatever category your husband falls in, he wants to be treated like a man. He wants the chance to open the door for you, fix the air conditioner, and stick up for you when that guy at the bar hits on you—even though he knows you’re capable of doing these things yourself.
6. Men enjoy competition.
If you find that your husband spends a lot of time talking about how he compares to his friends—like how he constantly reminds you his golf handicap is lower than his friends—this isn’t because he thinks he’s the best. It’s because he enjoys the camaraderie of friendly competition between buddies. He knows that he isn’t actually in competition with them, but having a bit of pressure like this helps him maintain his drive and motivation. Perhaps he constantly reminds you how his golf handicap is lower than his friends or that he was the first in his friend group to get a real job.
7. Most men are boys at heart.
Your husband may be successful in his professional life and a strong, reliable family provider, but this doesn’t mean that he’s said goodbye to being a boy at times. You’ve probably found that he goes crazy for Legos or video games, claiming this is an excellent way for him to blow off steam and take him back to his childhood.
8. Men are often forgetful of anniversaries.
It’s a common gripe among women, but it’s true—most men have a hard time remembering all the important dates in their lives, from birthdays to anniversaries. Studies show that men often forget important things like dates because of the difference in hormones. If you gave him a hard time the last time he forgot your birthday, try to go easy on him next time.
9. Men don’t typically like lists.
Now that you realize that men have trouble forgetting things like dates, it might make more sense why they shy away from an overload of information, like to-do lists. They would much rather be given tasks one at a time so that they can focus solely on what’s in front of them before moving on to the next one. Next time you need your husband to help you with the housework, try giving him just one task to begin with.
10. Men appreciate positive reinforcement.
Everyone responds to criticism differently, but in general terms, positive reinforcement is the most effective way, to be honest with your husband. While it might be tempting to criticize, this only forces them further into themselves, and they’ll be more reluctant to share their failures with you in the future. Next time he’s late home from work and lets you down, try telling him how much you appreciate it when he does get home on time instead of berating him for failing.
11. Men need time to reflect and process.
When discussing how men think, it’s important to remember that most men need time and space to process things. If you’ve just had a disagreement and you feel like things didn’t end how you wanted them to, it’s probably because he still needs time to sit and think and process. Next time he’s stressed about work, or you disagree, encourage him to walk to get some space, fresh air, and time to think.
12. They don’t like it when you nag.
Again, men have a relatively short attention span, so they will shut down quickly if you nag your husband about something. It might be frustrating to ask him to do something more than once, but it’s essential to approach the situation differently. Otherwise, he might become distant. Try saying, “I’m only going to ask you about this one more time, but let me know if you’d like me to remind you beyond that.”
13. Men struggle to be emotional at times.
Just like men sometimes struggle to ask for help, they also struggle to share their emotions with you. Even if you’ve been together for a long time, you may have difficulty pulling their feelings out. Perhaps you find that when you sit down to have a meaningful conversation, your husband starts fidgeting, moving around in his chair, and twiddling his thumbs.
14. Men are bad at taking hints.
Most of the time, if you want your husband to pick up on something, you’ve got to make it incredibly obvious. You can’t just skirt around the subject and hope that he’s getting the hint. Instead of saying, “I think the rubbish is supposed to get picked up tomorrow,” you need to say, “Honey, do you think you could take the rubbish out tonight so it’s ready for tomorrow?” This way, it’s clear what you need from him.
15. He can’t help but get jealous.
While he might not be as vocal about his jealousies as you are, he can still feel jealous. His pride will prevent him from making a big deal out of it, but deep down, he does care if someone is showing you attention. Perhaps you’ve noticed that the last time he met a guy you get along with at work, he was quiet and distant for the rest of the day.
