8 Things Guys Need Before We’re Ready To Get Married

For most guys, it takes a specific set of circumstances to feel like we’re ready to marry someone. It’s usually not something we’re going to do unless all of the stars align and we feel like we’re truly in a good place to make that kind of commitment. Here are just a few things guys need before we’re ready to say “I do.”

  1. A certain level of maturity This feels a little obvious, but it might be the most important factor. We all know that men are a little slow to mature compared to women. It’s part of the reason why we’re often a few years older than our wives when we do finally say “I do.” A young guy may want to get married on a whim, but only an older, more mature man will actually be ready to walk down the aisle once he thinks about what that actually means. Unfortunately, maturing to the point of marriage can take some time. Ladies, just be patient because most of us will get there eventually.
  2. The ability to be a provider Sadly, it might take a couple of more generations until men stop assuming that we need to be the main providers for a family. Most of us need to feel like our careers are in a good place and that we can support their wives and any potential children before we feel ready to marry a woman. If we’re not there, marriage is out the window.
  3. To feel sure that our partying days are behind us  Sure, married people can still go to parties and have fun, but a lot of guys associate marriage with being permanently settled. Before that happens, we need to accept that our days of getting wasted all weekend are behind us. Once we’ve moved on from that, we’re more likely to be ready to settle down.
  4. Enough professional accomplishments under our belts Unfortunately, too many people still view their professional goals and personal life as being mutually exclusive, and guys are no exception. This convinces some men that we can’t get married if we haven’t advanced enough in our careers. If nothing else, we need to be on track to achieve our professional goals. If marriage might interrupt our work-life, most guys will shy away from it as long as possible.
  5. The knowledge that your life will be better I know we guys come off as a little selfish at times, but we are often thinking of you when it comes to marriage, at least in our own way. Most men need to know that you’ll be happy if you become our wife. We need to know that we can satisfy you in the long term. Knowing this will make a guy more comfortable with the idea of getting married. If we have doubts about being able to make you happy, we’re less likely to go down that road.
  6. A little alone time Married, dating, or single, I can’t stress how important alone time is for guys. Before we feel ready to get married, we usually need one more big dose of time to ourselves. Granted, that’s sometimes a wild bachelor party in Las Vegas, but it can also be a retreat to the woods. Sometimes guys become a little distant right before we propose to you. No matter the method, guys always need to take a step back before taking a leap of faith into marriage. We need to do a little soul searching and self-reflection before making such a massive, lifelong commitment. You ladies can understand that, right?
  7. Role models For men, being ready for marriage usually requires having married role models. With any luck, that will be our parents or possibly yours. If not, it could be a sibling or a close friend who’s happily married. In any event, we need someone we know who’s in a successful marriage. This will help us believe that we can have that same kind of successful connection. If we don’t have this, we’re more likely to hesitate about making the commitment.
  8. Understanding Finally, this is where you ladies enter the equation. More than almost anything, guys need understanding from you to feel like we’re ready to be your husband. We need to know that you get what makes us tick. You need to understand the good, the bad, and the ugly of who we are as people. Without this, we’ll always be filled with doubt. At the end of the day, trust and understanding from his future wife are two of the most important things guys need to feel like we’re ready to get married.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.