Have you ever been awaiting a first date and for some reason or another felt like you just didn’t want to go on it? This happens in a variety of situations, but it can be really hard to justify canceling before you’ve even gone out with the person. Fear not, canceling is totally valid, especially for these 10 reasons.
They’ve canceled on you more than once. Canceling once is annoying but often understandable. Things happen. In this case, you can give someone another chance at a first date. Canceling two or three times, though, is just absolutely unacceptable. It signals carelessness and disrespect. If they can’t make you a priority in their life then they don’t deserve to be in it.
They text you too much before the first date. Texting is great—you want to see if you have textual chemistry with someone. There’s a limit, though, especially at first. If they’re texting you constantly, day in and day out, you’ve got a problem. It can signal neediness, poor boundaries, and codependency in the future. Better to send that last text saying goodbye.
They say something super awkward. Awkward can be endearing in small bites. Right? Okay, maybe that’s just me who thinks that. Nonetheless, super awkward isn’t cute. Maybe they make really weird jokes or say something that just doesn’t sit right with you. It’s okay to cancel the upcoming date because of their awkwardness. You may feel kind of like a jerk, but you’re not. Your feelings are valid.
Their online dating profile makes you question. You’re talking to them and they seem pretty cool, but there are one or two things in their dating profile that makes you tilt your head in confusion. Maybe it’s a line that sounds a little arrogant or perhaps it’s the lack of filling out their profile. If this person squeezed by your initial judgment, it’s totally okay to change your mind. You’re allowed to do that.
You just have a bad feeling about them and/or the date. You know that feeling you get deep down in your belly? It’s like a sixth sense, a knowing. It knows what’s good and bad for you. It can communicate what it knows to you. I suggest listening to it. This might mean that you can’t find any logical reason to terminate a potential date with someone, yet your intuition is telling you to abort. This is okay. Intuition doesn’t always align with logic. Sometimes it knows more.
You made plans you’re uncomfortable with. Maybe the other person suggested a bar that they’re really excited about. You didn’t want to dampen their excitement so you agreed. However, you don’t feel comfortable meeting at a bar at night, you’d much rather meet at a coffee shop during the day. You’re 100% allowed to change your mind and cancel the date. Rescheduling is up to you, but it’s a red flag because their date idea may signal incompatibility.
You find something suspicious on their social media account. Okay, you totally don’t need to tell them you were creeping on their social media, but it’s okay if you have been. It’s good to have as much information about the person as possible. If you’re creeping and you find something suspicious, it’s totally okay to back out. Some examples are lying about their age, finding out that they actually have a partner or anything else that doesn’t sit right. These are perfectly good reasons to say bye bye before the date.
They say something sexual to you. Unless you’ve been explicit about wanting to hook up ASAP, this is just creepy. There’s no reason for someone to drop something like “DTF?” or any other ridiculous thing to say. If someone goes there at all, it’s totally cool to get rid of them. After all, you respect yourself and you deserve someone else who respects you.
You find out they just got out of a relationship. This is a flashing neon sign of a red flag. Perhaps you find it out in casual conversation or you see it on their Instagram. However you find out, this is important information. You don’t want to be a rebound and who knows what you are to this person. Maybe they think you’re not a rebound, but you know it’s too soon. This is a completely valid reason to GTFO before it starts.
You have nothing in common. Maybe it seemed at first that you had things in common. If you met in person, perhaps you were just mesmerized by each other’s looks, you didn’t know if you had anything in common. Regardless, you’re texting before the date and it just seems like your lives are totally incompatible. Your interests are different. It’s up to you whether you want to see if there’s anything in person, but it’s cool to cancel now.
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