If Any Of These Things Happen Before Your First Date, Cancel, Block Him & Move On

Have you ever been planning to hang out with a guy for the first time and for some reason, you’re just not feeling it? This happens in a variety of situations, but it can be really hard to justify canceling before you’ve even given him a chance. However, if you notice any of these red flags, you should cancel your first date and not even bother to waste your time.

  1. He’s canceled on you more than once. Canceling once is annoying but often understandable. Things happen. In this case, you can give someone another chance at a first date. Canceling two or three times, though, is just absolutely unacceptable. It signals carelessness and disrespect. If he can’t make you a priority in his life then he doesn’t deserve to be in it.
  2. He texts you too much before the first date. Texting is great — you want to see if you have textual chemistry with someone. There’s a limit, though, especially at first. If he’s texting you constantly, day in and day out, you’ve got a problem. It can signal neediness, poor boundaries, and codependency in the future. Better to send that last text saying goodbye.
  3. He says something super awkward. Awkward can be endearing in small bites. Right? Okay, maybe that’s just me who thinks that. Nonetheless, super awkward isn’t cute. Maybe he makes really weird jokes or says something that just doesn’t sit right with you. It’s okay to cancel the upcoming date because of his awkwardness. You may feel kind of like a jerk, but you’re not. Your feelings are valid.
  4. His dating app profile makes you question him. You’re talking to them and he seems pretty cool, but there are one or two things in his dating profile that makes you tilt your head in confusion. Maybe it’s a line that sounds a little arrogant, or perhaps it’s the lack of filling out his profile. If this person squeezed by your initial judgment, it’s totally okay to change your mind. You’re allowed to do that.
  5. You just have a bad feeling about him and/or the date. You know that feeling you get deep down in your belly? It’s like a sixth sense, a knowing. It knows what’s good and bad for you. It can communicate what it knows to you. I suggest listening to it. This might mean that you can’t find any logical reason to terminate a potential date with someone, yet your intuition is telling you to abort. This is okay. Intuition doesn’t always align with logic. Sometimes it knows more.
  6. You made plans you’re uncomfortable with. Maybe the guy suggested a bar that he’s really excited about. You didn’t want to dampen his excitement so you agreed. However, you don’t feel comfortable meeting at a bar at night, you’d much rather meet at a coffee shop during the day. You’re 100% allowed to change your mind and cancel the date. Rescheduling is up to you, but it’s a red flag because his date idea may signal incompatibility.
  7. You find something suspicious on his social media account. Okay, you totally don’t need to tell them you were creeping on his social media, but it’s okay if you have been. It’s good to have as much information about the person as possible. If you’re creeping and you find something suspicious, it’s totally okay to back out. Some examples are lying about his age, finding out that he actually has a partner, or anything else that doesn’t sit right. These are perfectly good reasons to say bye-bye before the date.
  8. He says something sexual to you. Unless you’ve been explicit about how he wants to hook up ASAP, this is just creepy. There’s no reason for someone to drop something like “DTF?” or any other ridiculous thing to say. If someone goes there at all, it’s totally cool to get rid of them. After all, you respect yourself and you deserve someone else who respects you.
  9. You find out he just got out of a relationship. This is a flashing neon sign of a red flag. Perhaps you find it out in casual conversation or you see it on his Instagram. However you find out, this is important information. You don’t want to be a rebound and who knows what you are to this person. Maybe he thinks you’re not a rebound, but you know it’s too soon. This is a completely valid reason to GTFO before it starts.
  10. You have nothing in common. Maybe it seemed at first that you had things in common. If you met in person, perhaps you were just mesmerized by each other’s looks, you didn’t know if you had anything in common. Regardless, you’re texting before the date and it just seems like your lives are totally incompatible. Your interests are different. It’s up to you whether you want to see if there’s anything in person, but it’s cool to cancel your first date now.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.