Loyalty is a quality that pretty much everyone values in a partner—it’s about being faithful. But do we even have a working definition or description of what that actually looks like in practice? I’m not 100% sure, but I have an idea—here’s how I’ve come to define loyal guys.
- They don’t try to hit on their friends’ girlfriends or exes. Isn’t it sleazy when a guy tries to hit on his friend’s girlfriend or ex? Ugh. I totally think it is. Loyal guys never ever do this. They’re respectful of their friends’ significant others and even their friends’ exes. They’re respectful of the relationship whether it’s still happening or not and do their best to be fair and good to others.
- They sing the praises of the people they love. Loyal guys are ready and willing to sing songs of praise in honor of the people they love. Oh, their younger brother won a basketball championship? You’ll hear all about it. You got promoted at work? He shares your achievement in a status on facebook. Why is this loyal? Well, being loyal is all about having the back of the person or people that you love. Having someone’s back doesn’t just mean defending them, it also means celebrating them too. Loyal guys will be in your corner.
- They don’t try to compete with the people they love. I feel like this is important because it’s related to how a loyal guy is supposed to have the backs of the people he loves and cares about. I dated a guy who made me feel like we were competing. For example, if I achieved something in school or at work, he would immediately try to match or one-up me instead of celebrating my accomplishments. Loyal guys don’t compete with you. If they compete with you, they can’t be loyal to you because the only person they look out for is themselves. This guy will work hard to be the best in his lane and praise and promote you in yours.
- They stand up for your relationship. Loyal guys don’t talk crap about their lover behind his or her back. Even if you’re in a small lovers quarrel, a dude who’s loyal to your relationship and to you knows that bad-mouthing you or what you share is a no-no. It’s not that they can’t seek advice from friends or family, but they understand the difference between seeking advice and talking crap. Barring emotional or physical abuse and manipulation, a loyal guy looks out for his romantic relationships. They’ll defend them when other people say nasty or negative things.
- They check on you. Loyal guys check on you. Period. This doesn’t mean they’re stalkers— that’s not cool. It means that they promise to call you and follow through and do it. It means that if you head out for a trip they make sure you got there safely.
- They love the people you love and hate the people you hate. Newsflash: guys can be just as fake as some women can be. You know what I mean. Don’t you hate the people who pretend to be your confidant one minute and then the next minute you see them on the ‘Gram flexing with the same person you were confiding in them about? Yeah, same. A loyal guy isn’t going to be Switzerland. He knows his tribe and sticks with them through thick and thin.
- They’re consistent. Loyal guys are consistent and actually go out of their way not to be flaky. They don’t leave you on read. They don’t “forget” to answer a text. They’re responsive and treat the people they love the way they want to be treated. Think I’m setting the bar high? Maybe I am, but consistency is key.
- They care about building trust between you. Loyal guys want to build trust. They care about that and they work on it too. The good thing about this is that loyal guys accomplish this by doing everything else on this list. Having allegiance to or toward someone is grounded in faith and faith is often fostered through mutual trust.
- They show up. Loyal guys show up for you and the people they love. So what does showing up look like? It depends. Showing up can mean being a great listener for you when you’ve had a bad day at work and you just need to vent and you need your night to be all about you. But showing up might also mean that they do little things that you don’t ask because they know it’s helpful to you, like putting gas in your car without you asking or pressing coffee in the morning. It’s all about showing their loyalty through tangible action.
- They give the benefit of the doubt. I think that loyal guys are going to give the benefit of the doubt to the people they know deserve it. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we are better versions of ourselves than other times. Loyal guys know this and they don’t hold the little things against you or the people they care about most in this world. They give the benefit of the doubt when it is due because they know that no one is perfect and in many instances, people deserve a second chance.
