Maybe You Keep Ending Up With Douchebags Because You Keep Choosing To Date Douchebags

When you constantly end up dating guys who are liars, players, or outright losers, it’s easy to assume that you just have bad luck in love. This is more than likely not the case. You may think you’re cursed with only attracting douchebags, but maybe you’re actually attracted TO them. If you put up with these 10 behaviors from the guys you date, you’re partly to blame.

  1. NOT CALLING/TEXTING WHEN THEY SAY THEY WILL It’s not cute and this is definitely not a game he’s playing because he’s into you and desperately wants to reel you in. He’s not trying to get you to care. He doesn’t want to talk to you and he doesn’t care how that makes you feel. He’s not thinking about you and he’s making that pretty clear. If find a way to convince yourself that this is okay or that it means a guy likes you, that’s on you.
  2. BOOTY CALLS. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally for having all the sex you want with whoever you want, whenever you want. However, if you’re thinking that the guy who only calls you at 2 a.m. is on his way to being your Prince Charming, you couldn’t be more wrong. This behavior isn’t flattering. If he were the right guy for you, he would probably (at the very least) have some desire to hang out with you during the day.
  3. INVALIDATING YOUR FEELINGS. Oh, he did something douchey and you called him out on it? You must be overreacting, on your period, and/or totally crazy, right? NO. This is unacceptable. You have every right to share your feelings, especially when something is bothering you. A guy that invalidates those feelings is RUDE and he doesn’t care at all that you’re upset. He’s not complicated, he’s not stubborn, he’s a jerk.
  4. INAPPROPRIATE/UNSOLICITED PENIS PICS/REQUESTS FOR NUDES.  I shouldn’t even have to say this, but a guy that feels like he can ask you for pics of your genitals or send you snaps of his out of the blue does NOT respect you. It’s not a joke. It’s incredibly offensive. If you find this enticing and are still attracted to a guy after such a heinous crime, once again, THAT’S ON YOU.
  5. REFUSING TO DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. There is no excuse for this. If a guy wants to be your boyfriend, he’ll tell you that he wants to be your boyfriend and make a move to make it happen. Leading someone on is classic douchebag behavior. Contrary to most romantic comedies, there’s nothing romantic about putting yourself through hell to get the guy. It should be easy. Don’t fool yourself into thinking otherwise.
  6. BEING CONTROLLING. “Oh, he just cares about me so much! He’s afraid of losing me, blah blah blah.” Sound familiar? “He’s just so into me that he can’t STAND to see me with another guy!” Nope, absolutely not. No way, Jose. This is black and white — there’s absolutely no reason for a guy to be telling you what you can and can’t do, who you can and can’t hang out with, or anything of the sort. A good, relationship-worthy guy will not only respect your freedom, he’ll embrace it. Period.
  7. HIDING YOU FROM HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Um, hello, GIANT RED FLAG. It’s easy to convince yourself that “he’s just a private person” or whatever lame excuse he’s given you for this behavior, but I promise you, it’s BS.  This guy is a douche and he’s either embarrassed by you for some reason or he just has no plans of keeping you around in his life and therefore doesn’t see the point in introducing you to his family. Harsh, I know, but it’s time to take responsibilities for ourselves, ladies. Give your time to a guy that can’t wait to introduce you to Mom and Dad!
  8. CHEATING. Alright, this seems obvious, but unfortunately for some, it’s not. A guy who cheats on you doesn’t deserve any of your time or affection. He didn’t do it because he is scared of his feelings for you. He did it because he’s a jerk. If you take him back, you’re on the hook for the crap he puts you through afterward.
  9. GHOSTING. I’m sorry, but if you give your time of day to a guy who has no problem ignoring you for weeks, what do you expect to happen? I don’t care if he “needed space” or “was going through something,” — you deserve enough to AT LEAST be rejected properly. You have to raise your standards if a guy feels comfortable hitting you up after ghosting you.
  10. MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DON’T DESERVE ANY BETTER. There’s only one person you can rely on to ensure that you’re treated the way you deserve in a relationship – you. There are always going to be guys trying to convince you that you don’t deserve respect, but you do. It’s extremely simple: the good should always outweigh the bad — by a lot. Relationships should be fun and easy. A guy should be nice to you. He should make you feel SO good.  You shouldn’t be questioning whether or not he cares about you, and if you are, it’s because he’s wrong for you.
Piper is a NYC-based writer who loves dogs, iced coffee, and calling people out on their BS.