Mental toughness isn’t just about how much you can handle. It’s also about recognizing the habits, mindsets, and behaviors that sabotage our well-being and hold us back from reaching our full potential. Mentally strong people have learned to identify these traps and steer clear of them, building resilience and unlocking a more confident, fulfilling life in the process. Here are some things they never, ever do.
1. Waste their own time
Whether it’s taking on a job in which they know they won’t be valued or accepting a second date when the first one was only so-so, mentally strong people will not waste their own time. If something clearly isn’t a good fit or doesn’t meet their perfectly reasonable expectations and standards, they pass altogether.
2. Undersell their strengths
There’s no place for minimizing yourself in any area of life because all it does is give another person a reason to believe you’re less capable than you are. The next time you’re in a key meeting at work and have an idea, share it. What are they going to do, fire you? Brad from Sales will be talking his head off either way, so advocate for yourself.
3. Stay quiet in times of crisis
They recognize that people look to them for guidance and step up to the challenge. They embrace this responsibility because they trust their instincts and ability to make decisions under pressure. This confidence comes from experience – they’ve made mistakes, learned from them, and know they can handle whatever comes their way.
4. Run away from an argument
Most people have a fight-or-flight response when it comes to arguments. However, people who are mentally strong know that arguments aren’t always personal, nor are they always about the obvious subject of the argument. They know that sometimes the best way out is through, so instead of sweeping feelings and issues under the carpet, they face them head-on.
5. Settle for less than they deserve in a relationship
Mentally strong people are wise beyond their years and have a wealth of experiences to draw on. Even though they seem collected and mature now, they have a history of giving themselves over to relationships or losing themselves to another person. Having learned from that, they will never again settle for someone who doesn’t meet them where they’re at.
6. Run from criticism
iStock/hobo_018
Emotional and mental stability comes from an inherently strong belief in their own identity. That helps heaps when it comes to receiving criticism or feedback from work colleagues, or even friends or family members. Most people will take that personally and panic that the other person thinks they’re useless. Mentally strong people know that it’s all about getting the right outcome, and isn’t personal. They learn to take things at face value and not overthink situations. This is where we could all learn from a mentally strong partner.
7. Avoid situations where they may fail
Any person who is afraid of failing will never grow outside themselves. That’s why mentally strong people gain a resilient and open-minded attitude. It’s not that they’ve never failed — far from it. They just know that all kinds of unexpected growth happens when you open yourself up to the possibility of failure and accept that you can’t control anything.
8. Skip sessions with their therapist
Mentally strong people know that they didn’t gain their strength overnight. They know it takes regular check-ins with their therapist and friends to keep the communication channel active. They would never skip a session when things get tough. The work is ongoing, and they’re always ready to put in the effort to continue evolving.
9. Lash out at other people when they’ve had a rough day
Mentally strong people are very well-rounded, perceptive, and compassionate. They know that sometimes people lash out when they’re stressed because they don’t have any other tools through which to express their hurt. Maturity is taking these outbursts with a pinch of salt, but mental strength is knowing yourself enough to stop yourself before an outburst.
10. Fail to seek advice when they need it
A mentally strong person will be the first to say that they’re not above it all. They require regular contact and advice from their friends who know them best to determine the best course of action. They would never go radio silent and withdraw when they’re struggling. It will only make things worse.
11. Put up barriers with their friends and family
Vulnerability sucks, especially when you’re getting out of a habit of putting boundaries and walls up. Mental strength is the willingness to be vulnerable, constantly. It’s uncomfortable, it’s exposing, and it’s where all the real growth happens. Once you take your barriers down and let people in, you can gain more support, mental strength, and clarity.
12. Brag about their accomplishments
Mental strength is the understanding that one person’s success doesn’t come about by putting another person down. That’s shallow and spiteful. A mentally strong person would know that it’s enough to be proud of themselves and wouldn’t need to boast about it — they know how it can be to always hear about other people’s successes.
13. Tease you about an insecurity
Mental strength can sometimes be misunderstood as someone aloof and above it all. Those people are narcissists and have a very fragile sense of self. They keep themselves up by putting other people down and commenting on known insecurities. Meanwhile, a mentally strong person has a strong self-image and would never resort to that. Being mean and being honest are very different things.
14. Gatekeep how they stay mentally strong
Mental strength, by definition, is a strong sense of self-confidence, and the willingness to keep learning and embracing change. That involves lots of self-reflection and research. While we all have to do our own personal growing, mentally strong people only want the best for the people around them, so they’d always offer up reading materials, therapist recommendations, and other resources to help other people’s journey.
15. Care about what other people think
With mental strength comes the ability to ignore all the naysayers. Only they know what’s right for them, and they won’t let anyone else’s opinion change that. They wouldn’t feel the need to explain or defend their decisions either — they’re absolute and final. There’s real strength in that clarity.
Enjoyed this piece? Give us a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more.
