If you’re single and dating, it’s normal to feel jaded about love from time to time. However, that doesn’t mean you have to marry a tree or call it a day and buy 20 cats (although cats are awesome). Here are 11 things to remember when you have a string of bad dates.
They make you stronger. I know that becoming a stronger person feels like a consolation prize when you wanted a relationship, but it’s something you’ll value in future. When you become stronger from dealing with and surviving those bad dates, you’ll realize just how little you actually need to find someone.
Every bad date is one step closer to your forever person. It might not feel like it, but every bad date you have is actually a way in which you’re getting closer to finding the right person. You just have to keep the faith that he’s out there. Maybe if you don’t meet all those jerks, you won’t be directed towards an amazing guy.
You’ll have a better idea of what you want. When you meet all those toxic people who you thought were your type when you matched on Tinder, you’ll realize what you actually don’t want. This is so valuable to know so you can move on to bigger, better things that actually make you happy.
You have great stories. Come on, what’s more entertaining than having loads of funny date stories? You could keep your friends in stitches with them, or use them as inspiration for a dating blog or bestselling book. Now that’s a satisfying way to turn your jadedness into an empire.
You’re better off single. Yeah, you know that being single has some major perks, but one you might not think about or realize is that your terrible first dates could have become horrible relationships (like if you had low standards and saw those guys again). Now that’s a scary thought. Be glad you dodged those bullets.
You can take a break. You don’t have to buy into the pressures of dating. You don’t have to force yourself to go on dates. You can take a break if you’re feeling jaded so that you don’t put so much unnecessary stress on yourself. This can feel so liberating! Seriously, go on and try it. A break from the stress and uncertainty of dating can be just what you need to make you feel better about life and stop obsessing about meeting people.
You’re not meeting “The One” for a reason. You might always think in terms of how you’ll meet the right guy for a reason, like that you’re lucky to have such great timing, but you’re also not meeting him for a reason. Maybe now’s the time to be single because you need to concentrate on other things that bring you joy. Someday it’ll make sense so you might as well make the most of what you have now.
You’re doing dating wrong. If you feel so bad about your love department, or lack of it, to the point where you’re feeling down and anxious about being on your own, then consider this: you’re doing dating wrong. It’s supposed to be fun and make you feel good, at least most of the time. It’s definitely time to remove yourself from how toxic it’s become and regroup.
You’re not unlucky. Seriously, there’s no such thing as being unlucky in love. That’s just another bit of unnecessary pressure you’re putting on yourself. Just like with happiness, you create your own luck. Maybe you can’t make your Tinder matches better because you don’t have that power, but hey, you’re probably lucky because you’re not matching with them. Here’s a wild thought: Maybe you’re lucky because you’re in a position of being jaded so that you can realize what you should be grateful for. Yeah?
You need to do something different. If you’re not getting any good results from your current dating strategies, then maybe it’s time to change things! If you don’t do different things, you can’t expect to get different, better results, right? So, instead of meeting all your dates on dating apps, try to meet guys more spontaneously IRL. See what happens. Be creative. And most importantly, have a bit of fun. You were put on this earth to be happy, not miserable.
Your future doesn’t depend on having someone. You might feel OK with being single right now but you don’t want to be single forever. The latter is scary, right? Well, it doesn’t have to be. Your future can be amazing with or without someone, but that part is up to you. It doesn’t just happen one way or another. So instead of feeling terrible because you’re not finding the right person, realize that you’re choosing to be. A life partner isn’t something you can’t live without, like oxygen (or chocolate).
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