Is There Relationship Potential Or Are You Just A Fling?

When your hormones are buzzing and your chemistry is through the roof, you might feel like you’ve met your next boyfriend. In reality, this might not actually be the case. While you’re getting ready to call him your S.O., he might be getting ready to move on. Ouch. If you’re worried that you’re just a fling to him and have no relationship potential, here are 13 signs that you’re definitely not going to be his next girlfriend, so you can guard your heart.

1. Your alone time is all about sex. If the only time you get to spend alone time with the guy is when you’re having sex, that’s not a good sign. The rest of the time you might be spending with his or your mates, right? This can make you feel like you’re not working towards a real relationship and are going to be forever stuck in fling territory.
2. You’re not getting his attention. When you are alone together, you might feel like he’s never quite present. He’s sitting right next to you but he’s busy scrolling through his phone or it just seems like he wants to zone out. When you guys have sex, even though it’s the best sex of your life, it’s the only time he’s suddenly super romantic and into you. Ugh. Not a good sign.
3. He’s not a date guy. You suggest you guys go check out a cool new comedy show or restaurant across town but he’s never keen. The thing is that he’s not into going on real dates. He doesn’t want to do anything that feels like you’re in some kind of actual relationship, so he works to keep it casual, just like a fling.
4. He’s cagey about deleting his dating profiles. When you tell him that you’re not on dating profiles anymore but he gets weird about canceling his dating site subscriptions, it’s clear that he doesn’t want to close the door to other women. You’re not going to be his girlfriend, so why shouldn’t he stay active on Tinder?
5. He “forgets” info about you. You know you told him that you’re allergic to strawberries or that your parents are visiting  you next week, but he conveniently forgets such important information. Here’s the thing: if a guy is interested in being in an actual relationship with you, he’s going to want to learn everything about you and he’ll remember what you say because he’s tuned in, which just isn’t the case for a fling.
6. He freaks out when you suggest leaving stuff at his place. You’re going to be hanging out again the next day, so you figure it’s no big deal to leave your hair ties, toothbrush, or a change of underwear at his house. Only, it clearly is ‘cause he always has an excuse for why it’s not a good idea, like that he might not see you and then you won’t have your stuff. Whatever.
7. He loves last-minute plans. It’s rare for him to plan dates with you ahead of time. He prefers spontaneous dates, but after a while they can become less romantic and more of a red flag. If he wants to build a relationship with you, he’ll want to book you in for dates ahead of time. He shouldn’t make you feel like you’re invited out or to his place just when it’s convenient. What, did his plans fall through again?
8. He’s a “we’ll see” kind of guy. This guy never wants to talk to you about defining your relationship or where it’s headed because he expects your fling to eventually peter out. If you try to talk to him about where you stand, he’ll keep things vague, such as by saying, “We’ll see what happens” or “I’m not that keen on anything serious right now.” He does this to keep you around. Yup, it’s selfish. A guy who’s interested in having a relationship with you will be clear about what he wants.
9. You’re dizzy from his mixed messages. He might make you feel like he loves your company and he might flirt with you all the time, but he never gives you a concrete sign that he’s that into you. He’s always giving you mixed messages that make you feel like you’re going crazy because you never know 100 percent if he’s going to ask you out on an official date or not. This limbo sucks.
10. He only compliments your looks. Does this guy ever tell you how much he values your opinion or how much he loves your ambition? If he’s only ever giving you compliments about hot hot/gorgeous/sexy you are, that shows you where his mind is at – he only cares about your physical connection.
11. He never says the romantic words back. If you’re sick and tired of not being able to express how you feel around this guy because he’s always giving you mixed messages about his feelings, you might decide to give him a big hint that you’re interested in something real with him. His reaction? He replies with a smiley-face emoji, he laughs, or he changes the subject. WTF? He never tells you that he feels the same or takes the flirtation to the next level. He’s just not into doing that and probably never will be. Kiss goodbye to your relationship hopes because this is nothing more than a fling.
12. He doesn’t let you in. When you want to have a deep conversation, he starts sending you one-word sentences. Ugh. It’s frustrating. You might think that he’s just mysterious or has his walls up. But you know what? If you were experiencing a real connection, he’d want to open up to you. It signals trust and honesty, both of which you need to start a healthy relationship.
13. He only texts you on certain days. If you’ve noticed that on certain days of the week, like the weekend, he never replies to your texts or calls but then he’s keen to chat during the work week, that’s a huge red flag. A guy who wants to take your casual dating to a more serious relationship setup is going to be open and fit you into his life, not compartmentalize you. If you’re keen on having a real relationship, you shouldn’t feel like you have to settle for crumbs from a guy who treats you like nothing more than a fling.