13 Things To Remember When Dating Is Depressing

Yes, dating is depressing sometimes. But if you want to find love, dating is an important part of the process. Even though it seems grim, the dating world really isn’t so bad. And there are a few reassuring things to remember when your dating life is getting you down.

  1. It only takes one date to change everything. It doesn’t matter how many bad dates you’ve had—this doesn’t dictate what’s going to happen in the future. You can have 50 bad dates and then meet the love of your life on the 51st date. It only takes one good date to change everything for you.
  2. Things that happen online aren’t personal. A lot of what happens in the online dating world can be disheartening. Trends like ghosting and catfishing are running rampant. But remember that when you run into these problems in the online space only, they’re not personal. People who ghost you after talking to you on an app for three weeks don’t actually know you. Even when people reject you based off a photo, they’re not actually rejecting the real you, just what they perceive you to be.
  3. It’s still possible to meet someone the old-fashioned way. If you hate the concept of online dating altogether, it’s still possible to meet someone the old-fashioned way. Online dating can help you to find your soulmate, but if you really feel that it’s not for you, that’s fine. You can still meet someone through friends, at a bar, while traveling, or through any of the ways in which people have met people for centuries.
  4. Every bad date is a lesson learned. If you’re dating widely, you’re likely to run into some bad dates from time to time. Think of these as lessons learned. Though they may be awkward or uncomfortable, you’re bound to learn something that you can take with you.
  5. You have to experience bad dates to know what you’re looking for. The other positive thing about bad dates and flings is that they teach you what you’re looking for. For example, if you date someone for a workaholic for a while, you might figure out that you want someone with a flexible job who has more time for their relationship.
  6. You’re better off single than settling. Being single is only as sad as you allow it to be. If you haven’t found the right person yet, remember that you’re better off single than settling with the wrong person. If dating is depressing, remember that it’s not as miserable as feeling stuck in a relationship that isn’t right for you.
  7. You don’t actually need a partner to complete you. It’s perfectly fine to want a relationship. But contrary to popular belief, you don’t need a significant other to make you complete (via Centre for Human Potential). You are a complete person as you are, and you are enough as you are. So ultimately, dating isn’t the be all and end all.
  8. It’s not just you. Dating is depressing for a lot of people, so don’t feel like you’re going through the challenges alone. If anything, negative dating experiences can actually help you to forge friendships with people who are in a similar position in life to you.
  9. You can take a break from dating. When dating gets really stressful, you can always take a break. Again, it’s never imperative that you find a partner. Even if you want to end up in a relationship, you can always afford to take some time off dating to recuperate your energy and engage in a little self-care.
  10. A relationship doesn’t equate to happiness. Happiness is up to you, not your partner. Don’t give anyone else the power to dictate whether you’re happy or not. If you look around you, you’ll see there are lots of happy single people and lots of unhappy people in relationships. You can make yourself happy right now without a partner.
  11. Single life can be pretty awesome. Again, single life is what you make of it. And it can actually be pretty awesome. Being single often means having unlimited freedom and designing the exact life of your choice. You can travel, relocate, take on new hobbies, meet new people, get a pet, see your friends and family, spend your money, and live your life how you want, without needing to check in with anyone else.
  12. There are nearly 8 billion people on this planet. If you have your heart set on finding a relationship, remember that there are nearly 8 billion people on the planet (via World Meters). If you feel like all the good romantic prospects are taken or there’s no one to date in your small town, it’s time to step back and look at the bigger picture. There is someone out there for you. The odds really are in your favor.
  13. You don’t know what the future holds. Ultimately, you never know what’s just around the corner. Maybe you’ll meet someone at the grocery shop. Or perhaps you’ll get set up on the best blind date of your life. The past is not an indication of what’s going to happen in the future, and you have no way of knowing what’s going to happen in the future. So even if dating is depressing, try to hang in there!
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including Hotsprings.co and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.