I Hate Online Dating So How Am I Supposed To Meet Anyone?

I’ve tried pretty much every dating app in existence and I’m still single with no hope of finding my Mr. Right. All I have to show for it is a pocket full of stories of being ghosted, stood up, and even having a guy run out on the bill! I’ve heard of couples who have met on dating apps and have the happily ever after ending but that just wasn’t my experience. I’ve realized that online dating just isn’t for me, but how am I supposed to meet anyone these days?!

  1. Everyone is glued to their phones. I can’t even make eye contact with anyone. Whenever I’m in a public place, I always do the quick look around to see if I spot any cute singles. If I do, I perk up, glance over, and try to get that eye contact to see if there’s a connection. Unfortunately, connection or not, I’ll never know because they haven’t even looked up from their phone for long enough to even see that I’m even there.
  2. Online dating gives people too many options of who to date. Even if I catch a guy’s attention in the real world, it’s hard to keep them hooked if they’re using dating apps. They can just go home after our date and swipe away ’til their thumbs bleed, looking to see if maybe there’s a better catch out there. It’s hard to stand out in a sea of infinite Tinder profiles.
  3. People have lost their attention spans. With the next best thing only a swipe away, it’s hard for me to meet someone who can be present. I can meet someone and think they’re great, but before investing in a second or third date, I find that my dates are too easily distracted by other potential options. They can’t even keep their attention on me without wondering what else could be out there.
  4. I want human contact. I want to hear someone’s voice, feel their cheek against mine when we hug. I don’t just want to get to know someone through their five best pics and a two sentence bio. The more and more people get comfortable with using dating apps, the less and less human contact I seem to get. Sometimes I text for days with someone and never even get the opportunity to meet them in person.
  5. I’m not a big texter. I’m a way better catch in person than I’ll ever be over text! And it seems it’s everyone’s go-to now to think of the wittiest, cutest text matched with the perfect emoji to get a guy’s attention. Well, I suck at texting. I think too much and I’m not very emoji savvy. So I’d way rather just meet someone for a drink and let them be charmed by my real life wit and whimsy instead of trying to hook them via text.
  6. I don’t go out to bars often. I used to go out a lot more but lately, the idea of going out for a drink in hopes of meeting someone sounds exhausting and not fun at all. The past few times I’ve gone out with friends for a girls night, we were shocked. Going out as a single woman is not what it used to be. No one asks to buy us drinks, and surprise surprise, most guys are swiping on dating apps while at a bar filled with single women!
  7. No one sets anyone up anymore. Even my taken friends who have single guy friends have never attempted to try and set me up. I am yet to hear, “Hey, you’re single, you know what? My boyfriend has this great friend you should meet.” Nope, never heard these words once. Even friends and family have left it to dating apps to do the matchmaking for their loved ones.
  8. I want romance. There’s something very unromantic for me when it comes to online dating. I always dreamt I’d meet my guy and it would be love at first sight not love at first swipe. I can’t seem to let go of that idea, so it makes it harder for me to open myself up to online dating when I’ve dreamt of having it another way my whole life.
  9. I don’t want to waste my time. After so many dating experiences on online dating, there have been a few decent ones and even a few good ones. But I had to go on a lot of terrible dates before I found one of those. When I meet someone in person for the first time, at least I feel like I’ve gotten to know them just a bit before choosing to go on a date with them. There’s no chance they can be lying and not look like their profile pic because they’re standing right in front of me.
  10. I’m in the in-between age. Yep, I’m 31, just a little too old to just casually date around with no expectations but at the prime and tender age where most of my peers are married or taken. I’ve found it harder to meet someone in the real world because I feel like men are thinking, “Oh she must want something serious, she’s ready to settle down.” Well, I’m not quite sure what I’m looking for, but I don’t think I’ll find it in online dating.
I am a writer and musician from Los Angeles, CA. Proud mama to my Blue Heeler, Gatsby. Lover of wine, cheese and all things French! Frontwoman and songwriter of the LA based band Rivers And Suns.