Why Commitment Still Matters In A World Of Hook-Ups

Why Commitment Still Matters In A World Of Hook-Ups ©iStock/Anchiy

If everything the media said about 20-somethings were true, we would be a truly sorry group of people. Apparently we’re lazy, entitled, not interested in working, we never pick up a book ever, and we laugh at the very mention of a relationship. Those stereotypes are just that – gross generalizations, and pretty insulting ones at that. The biggest media statement about Gen Y is that we are only into hook-ups and consider commitment to be a totally foreign word. As if, as Cher Horowitz would say. Of course causal dating has become more common and mainstream in recent years, but within that overall hook-up culture, commitment still matters. Here’s why.

  1. Millennials are still getting married. It’s true. Just look at your Facebook feed. People are getting engaged left and right. So if people still believe in marriage, then obviously it’s still an institution that is worth something, right? It may be true that Gen Y is getting married later, but they’re still getting married, period.
  2. Not everyone is into hooking up. Shocking, I know. If we listen to the media and its portrayal of apps like Tinder, no one dates these days and everyone is just having casual sex. But if that was true, then we wouldn’t know anyone in relationships or be in them ourselves. Whether you are cool being casual or are only looking for something serious is totally a personal choice.
  3. We stay single for so long for a reason. Thankfully, it’s been pretty well-documented that being single doesn’t mean you suck as a person. Instead, we’ve established that many awesome women remain single because they’re choosing to wait for someone special. If commitment was nothing to us, we’d grab the first guy we see, label him our BF and call it a day. That label matters to us, so we’re holding out.
  4. There’s nothing like a stable relationship. It may seem boring to value a partnership where both parties respect each other, talk about their days over dinner and generally agree on the big things in life (like which TV is worth your binges). There really is nothing comparable to a solid union. It boosts your confidence, makes you feel cared for and definitely beats the awkwardness of all those random hook-ups.
  5. Your 20s won’t last forever. Having a bunch of guys who are essentially booty calls may make you feel super attractive at 25, but how are you going to feel in 10 years? Your 20s don’t last forever and at a certain point you’re probably going to get tired of the casual life and want something real.
  6. There are different ways to commit. Some couples move in together a week after their meet-cute (or, more realistically, meeting through an app). Others are monogamous but keep separate apartments for two or three years. No two relationships look the same and there are different ways to commit to someone. If you’re not ready to get engaged right away, that doesn’t mean you’re not interested in commitment. It just means you’re committing to someone in the most basic, general of ways – by being in a serious relationship. The rest can come later (or not at all).
  7. Not every guy is afraid. We seem to be conditioned from birth to think that people run screaming when we mention commitment. There are definitely many, many guys who like having a girlfriend and dream of starting a family.
  8. The best love stories start fast and strong. People fall in love every day and commit to each other almost immediately. Commitment exists and it’s not going anywhere anytime soon.
  9. There’s more to life than sex. You could be a virgin or the most experienced person out there, and your relationship will never survive if all that matters is the physical stuff.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.