Ever caught yourself gossiping and then thought, “Wow, I sound like a middle school mean girl”? Yep, badmouthing someone behind their back is immature, and it accomplishes nothing positive. Sure, it might be momentarily satisfying, but ultimately, it’s hurtful and can ruin relationships. Here are some things you should never say about people behind their backs.
1. “I can’t stand them.”
If you genuinely dislike someone, that’s your business, but saying it behind their back is cowardly and unnecessary. Instead of spreading negativity, focus on the people and things you do like. If you have a legitimate issue with someone, have the courage to address it directly and respectfully. Trashing them to others will only make you look petty and untrustworthy, NBC News notes.
You may also like: 15 Clever Phrases That Instantly Humble an Arrogant Person
2. “They’re so annoying.”
Everyone has quirks and habits that might grate on others, but labeling someone as “annoying” behind their back is unkind and unproductive. Instead of complaining about their behavior, try to understand where they’re coming from. Maybe they’re going through a tough time or have a different communication style than you. If their behavior is truly disruptive, find a way to address it constructively rather than just venting to others.
Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily
3. “I heard they’re [insert rumor].”
Spreading rumors and gossip is one of the most toxic things you can do in any relationship or community. Not only is it hurtful to the person being talked about, but it also reflects poorly on you. If you hear a rumor about someone, resist the urge to repeat it. Instead, go directly to the source and ask them about it if it’s truly important. Nine times out of ten, rumors are either exaggerated or completely false.
You may also like: The Top 10 Reasons Men Break Up With Women, As Told By A Guy
4. “They’re such a [insert insult].”
Name-calling and insults are never okay, whether said to someone’s face or behind their back. If you have a problem with someone’s behavior or attitude, find a way to express it constructively and directly. Resorting to childish insults will only make you look immature and mean-spirited.
Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily
5. “I can’t believe they [insert personal detail].”
Sharing someone’s personal details or secrets without their consent is a massive betrayal of trust. If someone confides in you, honor that trust by keeping their information private. Gossiping about their personal life will only damage your relationship and make you look like an untrustworthy friend.
You may also like: These 16 Types of People Are Red Flags In Disguise
6. “They’re not even good at their job.”
Criticizing someone’s work performance behind their back is unprofessional and unhelpful. If you have concerns about a colleague’s skills or productivity, address it directly with them or their supervisor. Gossiping about their shortcomings will only create a toxic work environment and damage your own reputation.
Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily
7. “They’ve gained so much weight.”
Commenting on someone’s physical appearance behind their back is shallow and unkind, Cosmopolitan highlights. People’s bodies change for all sorts of reasons, and it’s none of your business. Instead of focusing on someone’s weight or looks, focus on their character and actions. If you’re concerned about their health, find a way to express it with compassion and respect.
You may also like: 15 Things People Who Don’t Put Up With Anyone’s BS Have In Common
8. “I heard they’re having money problems.”
Financial struggles are a deeply personal and sensitive topic, and gossiping about someone’s financial situation is a huge violation of privacy. If you know someone is going through a tough time financially, offer your support and resources if you’re able. But spreading rumors about their money problems will only add to their stress and shame.
Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily
9. “They’re so entitled.”
Labeling someone as “entitled” behind their back is a way of dismissing their experiences and perspectives. Instead of making judgments about someone’s attitude or expectations, try to understand where they’re coming from. Maybe they’ve faced challenges or obstacles that you’re not aware of. If their behavior is truly problematic, address it directly and with empathy.
You may also like: 20 Ways A Narcissist Acts When They Can’t Control You
10. “I heard they’re sleeping with [insert name here].”
Speculating about someone’s intimate life or romantic relationships behind their back is invasive and inappropriate. Who someone chooses to be intimate with is their own private business, and spreading rumors about it will only cause harm and embarrassment. If you’re genuinely concerned about someone’s well-being or the health of their relationship, talk to them directly and with compassion.
Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily
11. “They’re so fake.”
Calling someone “fake” behind their back is a way of questioning their authenticity and character. But the truth is, everyone presents different sides of themselves in different contexts. Instead of making judgments about someone’s sincerity, focus on your own authenticity and integrity. If someone’s behavior seems inconsistent or insincere, address it directly and with curiosity rather than condemnation.
You may also like: 30 Things Men Do When They’re Having A Midlife Crisis
12. “I can’t believe they’re friends with [insert name].”
Criticizing someone’s choice of friends behind their back is judgmental and controlling. Everyone has the right to choose their own social circle, and it’s not your place to dictate who they should or shouldn’t associate with. If you have concerns about someone’s friendships, express them directly and with respect. But ultimately, trust that they are capable of making their own decisions.
Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily
13. “They’re so selfish.”
Labeling someone as “selfish” behind their back is a way of dismissing their needs and desires. Everyone has the right to prioritize their own well-being and boundaries, and it’s not selfish to do so. Instead of making judgments about someone’s motivations, try to understand their perspective. If their behavior is truly causing harm, address it directly and with compassion.
You may also like: 15 Adult Traits of People Who Were Bullied As Kids
14. “They need to get over themselves.”
You probably don’t understand the full extent of what they’re going through. A little empathy goes a long way. If their issues are impacting you directly, have a kind conversation. But chances are, they’re going to get over themselves on their own time, and you’ll have saved your energy for something more important.
Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily
15. “I hope they learn their lesson.”
Sometimes, the best lessons are the ones people have to figure out for themselves. Instead of wishing for someone to fail, focus on being the kind of person you’d be proud of. Remember, you can’t control anyone but yourself, so spend your energy wisely.
You may also like: 30 Things Men Do When They’re Having A Midlife Crisis
16. “Well, at least I’m not like them.”
Comparing yourself to other people to feel superior is a trap. Work on being the best version of yourself and let everyone else walk their own path. Honestly, that person you’re judging probably has some good qualities you could learn from if you weren’t so busy feeling smug.
Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily
17. “What they do is none of my business, but…”
If you truly believe it’s none of your business, then stop talking about it! Curiosity is natural, but spreading rumors about someone else’s life is unkind. Find something more interesting to do – like reorganizing your sock drawer or staring at a wall. Honestly, both activities would be more productive.
You may also like: 15 Adult Traits of People Who Were Bullied As Kids
18. “They’re not a real friend to anyone.”
Unless you’ve been a fly on the wall in all their friendships, you really can’t know that. Badmouthing someone won’t make you any more popular. Focus on building strong friendships of your own. And remember, sometimes the quietest people have the strongest friendships – you just might not see them.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
