For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out why none of the guys I liked ever showed any interest in me. After a lot of trial and error, I finally realized that the reason I’m perpetually single might be because a lot of men find me too much to handle. As a strong, independent woman, the idea that my personality might be repelling men kind of disturbs me, but this is why I feel like it’s the only explanation for why I’m still alone:
- I have a strong personality. Yeah, I have opinions and I show my feelings. I’m not a robot, but I’m not obnoxious and dramatic either. I just like to show my sarcastic side and give people a little jerk. I don’t see what’s so bad about that. My friends seem to be fine with it, so where are the dudes who can hang?
- I say what I think and feel. No, I’m not going to suppress who I am to attract a man. I’m a grown woman, and I’m entitled to speak my opinion and engage in debate if needs be. I shouldn’t even have to say that in 2016, but there seem to still be a ton of guys out there who think that women are meant to be seen and not heard.
- I’m independent. I’m perfectly okay without a guy in my life, and but I wouldn’t mind having a partner by my side. But sometimes, I feel like the fact that I can stand so well on my own makes some guys feel vulnerable and insecure. I don’t want a guy who can’t handle my self-reliance, but it’s getting frustrating to realize that my independence seems to be such a turnoff.
- I refuse to change myself for a guy. I’m not about to go presenting a different image of who I am just to snag a man. He’ll figure out the truth eventually and we’ll have to part ways anyway. That sounds like a lot of work for nothing to me. I’d rather stay single forever and be myself than change to be unhappy with a significant other.
- I won’t water down who I am. I’ve literally been told before that I need to “soften my approach”. I was young at the time, and I thought the guy who said it was right. If he told me that now, I’d laugh at him and walk away. These days, I know myself, I love myself, and I’m secure enough to adjust my personality the way I want to.
- The only guys who like me aren’t available. The few guys who aren’t intimidated by me are inevitably already taken. Maybe that’s why they aren’t scared in the first place: there’s no risk involved in appreciating me for who I am. But of course, I’d never date a taken man, so I’m still going to be stuck in singledom until I find a single man who can handle me.
- I’m not aggressive — I’m just not a doormat. I’m actually an affectionate person; I’m just not going to pretend to be weak to stroke some dude’s ego. If a guy can’t see me as his equal and respect me for the strength I possess, then he’s not for me. I’m going to treat him as well as I should, but I’m not going to lie down and take it if he does something I don’t agree with.
- The ones who do like me don’t last long. Even if I find a man who likes me for who I am, I know it’s only a matter of time before he makes his exit just like the rest of them. Maybe I bore them. Maybe they have short attention spans. I really don’t know, but I’m tired of having my time wasted.
- I don’t dish out what I can’t take. I’m going to lose my mind if another guy runs away because I’m busting his balls. He can bust mine back. I can take it. I may be a little rough around the edges, but I like spending time with people who can throw my kind of jokes right back at me. It’s hard to find a guy who’s willing to do that, but I know that when I find him, I’ll do my best to keep him around.
- I’m really not that bad. Look, I’m not a nightmare. I’m a considerate, fun, easygoing human. I don’t get pissed over small stuff, and I don’t pick fights. I’m a damn good girlfriend, if I do say so myself. If a guy has a problem with the fact that I speak my mind, he’s going to be giving up someone who would have made him happy.
