Relationships are a constant work in progress, but they’re worth it if you’re with the right person. An argument here or there is nothing to worry about if you resolve things in a healthy way. Screaming, name-calling, and dishing out disrespect, however, should have you feeling worried — and ready to jump ship. Don’t ignore these 10 signs often found in relationships on the verge of becoming toxic:
You Argue Non-Stop With Each Other. Arguing isn’t just a little spat in this relationship — it’s screaming, yelling, turning red, and storming out in frustration. Just when it seems like you’re making progress, someone throws in an entirely separate argument, and it implodes before it has a chance to get better. These volatile spats are a huge red flag that the relationship is so strained, you can’t correct the mistakes you made. It’s time to move on.
He’s Not Listening & Neither Are You. One of you talks, and the other cuts them off. Someone pleads their case, and the other person shuts them down. You’re not listening to each other, and that’s a critical part of a healthy relationship and a requirement to make things right. If you’re both listening to reply more than to understand, nothing will get solved.
Passive Aggression Is A Constant. Lately, everything is said with a strained smile or drips with biting sarcasm. Even a simple ‘thank you’ is spat out tersely, expressed in a tone that offers anything but gratitude. Being passive aggressive is one of the most toxic behaviors in a relationship. Both parties hide not-so-subtle jabs and insults under the guise of being the bigger person. The worst part is that it’s hard to stop it from progressing once it starts.
No One Wants To Admit Fault. He made a nasty comment, so it’s only right that you fire back to defend yourself, right? Meanwhile, he insists that the whole thing wouldn’t have happened if you had just stopped pushing him. A relationship, much like an argument, is a two-way street. If neither one of you wants to admit to wrongdoing, you’ll both feel justified in continuing to damage your relationship.
You Both Ghost For Long Periods Of Time. Listen, time apart is necessary for a relationship — even when you’re on good terms. It’s especially true when you need to cool down from a disagreement. With that said, if you both ghost on each other for days or weeks at a time, it’s less of a cooldown and more avoidance. You’re relying on time to forgive all, not actively working to do so.
The Relationship Status Is On-Off. The argument this week was the last straw: you decided to break up with him once and for all. A few weeks pass, some texts are exchanged, and before you know it, you’re back on again… except for the argument you have two weeks later. This time, he’s the one to call it quits. This repeats non-stop, solves absolutely nothing, and puts you both on an emotional roller coaster.
You Don’t Trust Each Other. Let’s look it at this way: if you don’t listen to each other and hurl passive-aggressive insults, it’s likely you don’t have a very high level of trust. Without trust, you create a situation where you guard yourself around the very person you’ve come to rely on to provide a listening ear, shoulder, and companionship. If the damage is too severe, it’ll be too late to build trust back up.
There’s Too Much Disrespect. He finger-points, you name call. Each one is more vicious than the last. One person talks, the other is told to ‘shut up.’ It’s often one of the last tactics used in toxic relationships to drive a single message home: “I don’t want to be with you anymore, and I want you to know it.” End things if you’re ready to move on, but it’s not necessary to end things in such a divisive way.
The Spark Is Gone. Too many arguments. Too many tears. Too much apologizing and talking, but not enough action. The guy you fell for is not the same person you’ve gone through hell with. The good times you had are a thing of the past, and there’s no saving it. You’re ready for him to leave and so are you.
You Just Want To Be Single. You have enough to worry about in your life, right? You absolutely cannot offer another tear to shed or another chance to fix things. It’s taken longer than it should’ve, but you know what you need to do — break things off and don’t look back. Reflect on what was unacceptable in your toxic relationship and do your best to avoid those elements in the future.
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