Why It’s Time To Stop Waiting For Things To Happen In A Relationship

Why It’s Time To Stop Waiting For Things To Happen In A Relationship ¬©iStock/visualspace

Where’s this going? Does he see a future? Is he ever going to take the next step? You could sit around pretending everything’s okay and drive yourself nuts wondering what’s next. Or, you could stop waiting for things to happen and take charge of your relationship. I’m pretty sure a relationship involves two people, so shouldn’t you be able to speak up? I’ll warn you, it might not always end well. Still, isn’t it better to have an answer than waiting around and wasting your time?

  1. It’s your life, too. I’ve heard all the excuses like “He might leave me” or “He’s just getting his life together.” Umm… isn’t this your life too? Shouldn’t he respect your life and what you need? At some point, waiting on him is going to get old so you have to move things along yourself. He’ll either join you or you’re leave him behind.
  2. He needs to know what you want. He’s not a mind reader. Maybe he doesn’t realize you’re ready to move things forward. How is he to know you had a timeline for marriage and kids? Talk to him. Let him know what you want from this relationship.
  3. You need to know what he wants. At the same time, you don’t know why he’s waiting or what he really wants. You both need to be on the same page for things to work. Asking him is the only way to find out why you’re both waiting for something to happen and figure out if you want the same things.
  4. Why drag things out? Sure, you could be all demure and wait patiently for 10 years to see how things go. But why drag it out? I’m not saying you have to get married, but you need to move past wondering if it’s right or not. Why bother waiting around when you know nothing’s going to happen? Confront him and if he’s not on board with what you want, put the relationship out of its misery.
  5. Rules were meant to be broken. I guess there’s some unspoken rule that women aren’t supposed to be in charge in a relationship. Let us just call that ridiculous rule BS and move on, shall we? Break the rule, take charge, and get your relationship moving in the right direction.
  6. A little push never hurt. He might ignore everything his parents and friends say, but when you say it, it’s just the push he needs. Don’t wait around hoping he’ll suggest moving in together. Tell him you want to look at places. Give him a push to let him know what you want and expect.
  7. You don’t have forever to wait. I’ll just be blunt – you’re not getting any younger. Do you want to wait years to see if he’ll give you what you want only to realize he never wanted the same things? By the time you realize it, it’s going to be a lot harder to meet someone new. And if you want kids, you really do only have so long to wait. Remind him that you have expectations and it’s time for those to be met or it’s over.
  8. It’s way too easy to get complacentBoth sides are guilty of this. We get into a routine and the relationship never goes anywhere. You end up regretting all the things you never did while you were younger. One of you needs to stand up and make some changes. Make things happen in the relationship, don’t just wait.
  9. Only you know what you want next. You know what you want to happen next. Don’t expect that he knows. You’re responsible for getting the future you want. If you want a relationship with this man, tell him what you want and what needs to come next. He’ll probably appreciate you being upfront.
  10. Someone better could be waiting. If your current guy isn’t right for you, why keep waiting around? Someone better could be waiting. The sooner you start making things happen, the sooner you’ll know whether the relationship is right or not. Then you have less wasted time and you’re that much closer to finding the right guy.
  11. Nothing happens if you don’t make it happen. This isn’t just in relationships. I know it sounds kind of cliche, but it’s true. Think about it. If you sat at home 24/7, watching your friends live their lives on Instagram and Facebook, you’d never have a fulfilling career or a real relationship. You have to make an effort. Do the same in your relationship. Make the effort to make things happen. Otherwise, your relationship might never go further than it is right now.

Some guys are more than ready to move things along while others are content to never change anything. You don’t have to just impatiently wait with these guys. You have the power to take your relationship where you want it or find a man who’s ready for the same things you are.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.