11 Topics To Avoid Talking About On A First Date

First dates are supposed to be fun and light. They’re an opportunity to start to get to know someone new and figure out if you’d like to see them again and maybe get a little deeper. In other words, first dates are not the time for you and your crush to feel depressed about what’s going on in the news or tackle heavy topics that can put a damper on the fun. With that in mind, here are 11 topics that should be off the table on the first date.

  1. Too much information about your ex While it’s cool to touch on the subject of exes with information on how long you’ve been single and what caused the end of your previous relationship, you don’t want to get too stuck on the subject. It can make your date feel like you’re not over the past or that you’re drilling them about theirs. Give a basic overview and then move on.
  2. Anything to do with politics When the topic of politics comes up, this can cause people to become passionate or angry and even clash over their different opinions. Not a good thing on a first date. Plus, it’s kind of boring. You’ve presumably established you’re not at entirely opposite ends of the spectrum before you’ve even met up, so why get into the nitty gritty so soon?
  3. All things sexual You might want to have sex on the first date and that’s cool if it feels right, but talking about sex can be a little too much too soon. You want to make sure that you have other things in common besides an attraction to each other and you want to suss out a deeper connection.
  4. Money problems and/or your earnings Wait, is this a job interview? Who talks about money on the first date? If you’re discussing things like your income or how bad your debt is, this can make the date feel too heavy. Plus, why give so much private information about yourself right away?
  5. Your ideas about religion This should be avoided for pretty much the same reasons as why you’d avoid getting elbow-deep into politics: it’s sensitive and can lead to arguments.
  6. Your deal breakers While it’s great to talk about what you’re looking for in a relationship, it might be a bit too much to give each other a list of your deal-breakers. It can feel daunting, like you’ve got a whole list of things that they’d better not do – and you don’t even know each other yet!
  7. Family trauma and drama It’s good to get to know more about the person you’re dating and what type of family they have. It gives you some insight into who they are, but now’s not the time to talk about family issues and drama. This is a first date, not a session with a psychologist!
  8. Your need to get married Maybe you can see that you and the guy are on the same page when it comes to what you’re looking for in a relationship, but don’t get ahead of yourself by talking about marriage, how much you want to have a big wedding, and so on. That should only come later when you know each other a bit more and you’re sure that you’re on the same page about the future.
  9. Dark, deep secrets It might seem like fun to share your darkest secret with the guy, but wait – can you really trust him? Why would you want to share something so private with a stranger? It can come across as though you’re willing to trust anyone you meet, and that’s not what you want others to think.
  10. Everything that’s happening at work Linked to the point about not talking about income or money in general which can be a sensitive topic, you should avoid talking to someone on a first date about your work. Yes, it’s awesome that you’re passionate about your career, but you shouldn’t make it seem like that’s all you’ve got going. He doesn’t need to know everything that’s been happening in your workplace or what stress you’ve been dealing with with your boss. He’s not your friend you can offload on.
  11. Everything that sucks Have you ever been on a date with someone who was a fountain of negativity? They want to moan about their new cell phone that isn’t working properly, the weather that’s been crap for days, the restaurant where you’re eating dinner… It just goes on and on. It’s not fun. Don’t do it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.