We’ve all been in toxic relationships from time to time. You know the ones — the guy treats you like crap but you keep running back to him. It’s messed up and you know it, but you keep telling yourself that he’ll change, that he really does love you. Time for a reality check: if he treats you like he doesn’t care, he clearly doesn’t. Respect yourself enough to walk away from him.
- Actions speak louder than words. He could tell you until he’s blue in the face how much he likes you and how great you are, but if he’s acting like he couldn’t care less, that’s the truth you should be listening to. Words are meaningless when the behavior behind it doesn’t match.
- He’s telling you he’s done without having the balls to say it. Honestly, men aren’t these mysterious creatures we simply can’t understand. No. That’s BS. When they lose interest in something (i.e. YOU!), it’s so blatant you just can’t ignore it. Just because he’s not mature enough to sit you down and tell you he’s not feeling it anymore doesn’t mean he’s not trying to tell you in other ways. His lack of care for you or your feelings say everything.
- The more you try to chase him, the more he’ll run. Your instinct may be to chase this guy and win him back, but hold your damn horses for a second. The more you chase him, the faster he’ll run. Why the hell would you want someone that doesn’t give a damn about you? You deserve way better than that and you know it.
- He’s making you look like a damn fool. You know all the time he’s treating you like his little lap dog? Well, the world can see it. Your friends can see it. Your family can see it. Strangers in the street? Yeah, they can see it too — it’s as plain as day. By treating you mean and keeping you oh-so-keen, he’s showing he thinks you’re wrapped around his finger and that he can do whatever he wants and get away with it. Don’t prove him right.
- He’s emotionally draining you. If you’re giving all you can to this guy emotionally and getting sweet nothing in return, that’s enough to screw you up. When people give and give and give for no return, it drains the hell out of them. You might think you can put up with it now, but that kind of emotional torture takes its toll on you. It’s not selfless to give more than you get in a relationship; it’s damn silly.
- The more you put up with his BS, the more he’ll do it. Until you say (or better yet, do) something, this will carry on. It’s time for some tough self-love here. Be honest with yourself and recognize that this man is playing you for a fool. If you keep letting it fly, he’s going to keep on doing it. Why would he stop doing something if he’s getting just what he wants? Sure, you might not be able to change him, but you can at least try to get HIM to change his own behavior. If it doesn’t work, you can — and should — walk away.
- Life’s way too short to waste time with someone who doesn’t care. Relationships aren’t just about having someone you can call your boyfriend in title alone. They’re about two people who care a ton about each other. They’re about support, love, and everything that’s in between. If this guy’s giving you none of the above, he isn’t your boyfriend; he’s just a jerk who’s taking advantage of you. Sorry, not sorry.
- Don’t delude yourself and think you’re in the wrong. In this situation, it’d be all too easy to blame yourself. You can sit there and convince yourself that he doesn’t care because you’re not worth caring about. Backup, here. If this loser doesn’t care it’s because there’s something wrong with him, not you. He’s the one incapable of having an adult relationship. Not you. If you’ve started to think you’re in the wrong, you need to get out of this toxic relationship.
- Don’t get used to being treated like crap. When we let the same behavior slide again and again, it becomes the norm. Before long, even the most ridiculous things can start to feel normal. If he’s treating you like crap or like he doesn’t give a damn, that isn’t okay. It doesn’t matter how you try to justify it — it’s just not. Listen to your friends when they tell you it’s BS. Listen to your inner voice when it nags you and tells you something’s wrong with this relationship. These signs can’t be ignored.
- If this guy can’t give you respect, he isn’t worth your time. You’re not a victim. Don’t just ‘let’ things happen to you. Take control of the situation for once. Understand that you deserve some respect from the guy you’re dating. If he’s acting like you don’t matter but still sleeping in your bed, there’s no respect there. You need to demand respect from the men you date. If they can’t deliver the goods, neither should you.
- Trust me, he’ll realize what he’s lost when you walk away. Want to know why this guy is acting like he doesn’t care? It’s simple. He doesn’t care. Maybe one day he’ll see the error of his ways and realize that you’re worth so much more than he could ever give you. Maybe he’ll pine for you for days, months, or years after you leave. The sad thing is that if that ever happens, you’ll be long gone and he’ll finally realize what a great girl he lost. Oh well, you should still walk away.
Ways a guy shows you he doesn’t care
- You’re always his last-minute option rather than a priority. When a guy likes you, he’ll make sure that you’re at or near the top of the list of priorities in his life. No matter how busy he is or how much else he has going on, he’ll make time to see you and stay in touch, even if it’s to let you know that things are hectic at the moment but he’s still thinking of you. If this isn’t happening, he clearly doesn’t care about you.
- He flirts with other women or outright cheats on you. There’s no clearer sign that you need to walk away than when the guy you’re seeing is unfaithful to you. Whether he insists it’s just harmless flirting and that you’re overreacting or you know for a fact that he’s slept with someone else, there’s no excuse for cheating. If he truly cared about you, he would never be able to bring himself to hurt you like that.
- He’s only interested in hanging out when sex is on the cards. He’s all for coming over if he knows that he’s going to get laid, but if you have your period, are stressed out, or really just want to hang out without any funny business, he’s suddenly unable to make it. It couldn’t be more obvious that he’s only interested in sleeping with you rather than truly developing a great relationship.
- He expects you to make all the effort. He’s totally fine taking everything you’re willing to give, but when it comes to taking his turn to give back and ensure you’re happy and well cared for, you get nada. Zilch. If it wasn’t you making all the plans and making all the effort in the relationship, you wouldn’t have one at all.
- He’s not interested in getting to know you. If you get the feeling that he couldn’t care less about learning who you are and what makes you tick, it’s time to walk away. How will he ever be able to love you or even like you strongly if he doesn’t actually know you? A lack of interest in you is a lack of interest in a relationship.
- He’s unreliable and unsupportive. If you know you can’t depend on him, why are you even wasting any more time on him? You need a partner who will be there to love and support you when you need it, to be your biggest cheerleader and give you encouragement when you need it and pick you up when you’re falling down. If you can’t rely on him to be there, you shouldn’t be there either.
At the end of the day, as painful as it is to walk away, it’ll be more painful to stay in a relationship that doesn’t serve you and instead tears you down piece by piece. You deserve to be loved fully and completely. You deserve to get the same amount of effort back that you put in. If you’re not, and if you don’t do anything about it, you’ll only end up unhappy. Put yourself first, make the right move, and walk away.