Ever had a friend who constantly let you down or a partner who made you feel insecure? Dealing with toxic people is emotionally exhausting. Learning to recognize these personality types will help you protect your well-being. This doesn’t mean you necessarily have to walk away from them, but it’s worth keeping them at a distance.
1. People who bring negative energy
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While toxic positivity is definitely a thing, no one wants to be around someone who’s miserable all the time, either. If someone you spend time with is always wearing a frown instead of a smile, it’s going to have a negative effect on you in some way. You’re going to feel drained from trying to make them feel a bit more upbeat or see the silver lining.
2. People who are full of empty promises
People who keep promising that they’ll hang out with you when they’re in town or that they’ll call you to catch up but they never do aren’t worth investing too much of your time or energy in. They’ll just keep disappointing you, so don’t rely on their words.
3. People who suffer from “comparisonitis”
If someone in your life is always competing with you or giving you jealous vibes, you need to protect yourself with some firm boundaries. Giving too much of yourself to this person will cause you to feel like you always have to one-up them or like you end up with your self-esteem wounds after hanging out with them. Comparisonitis is toxic!
4. People who love to gossip
When that one friend keeps running to you to share the latest negative gossip about someone you know, be careful! They’re bringing you down by making you an accomplice in their trash talk, and you don’t need (or want!) to be associated with such petty behavior.
5. People who make you feel bad and you don’t know why
Maybe you always feel a bit out of sorts after spending time with a specific friend. Or, you feel down and sad when they call you for a chat, even though they might not have done anything to make you feel that way. Listen to your gut! This person’s clearly having a negative effect on you and sucking your energy.
6. People who only call when they need something
Do you have a friend who only remembers your phone number when they need a favor? It’s upsetting. Although you might not want to completely cut them out of your life because, who knows, maybe sometimes you have fun with them, you should set some firm boundaries so you’re not always at their beck and call.
7. People who are emotional dumpers
Although you want to be there for loved ones who need to vent, if they’re always dumping emotions on your doorstep, it can be draining. Set a limit for how much of your data and energy you give to their sad stories, or you might start feeling like their psychologist instead of their friend or partner.
8. The eternal victim
Someone who always plays the victim can sometimes feel manipulative. They might tell you sob stories and behave like no one gives them the respect they deserve, but they’re not self-reflective or motivated to make a change. This means that all your attempts at helping them go in one ear and out the other!
9. The convenience chasers
Some people only hit you up when they’re lonely or bored and want some entertainment in their life. So, they’ll call you up late at night to see if you want to chat or hang out. Then when other things are going on in their life, they don’t stay in touch.
10. People who talk about themselves too much
Your chatty friend might be a ton of fun to be around, but sometimes they become tiring because they’re always talking about themselves. It’s like you’re listening to someone’s monologue instead of having a two-way conversation, and you can never get a word in!
11. People who want tit-for-tat friendships
Friendships are a two-way street, but people who keep score of what good deeds you’ve done for them could be using you. If they’ve done something nice for you, it’s not fair for them to expect you to return the favor or keep reminding you to do something for them. It makes friendships feel like transactions.
12. People who crave attention
Although they might not be looking for attention from you, attention addicts can be draining to be around. Whenever you’re around them, you always feel like they’re desperate to hog the spotlight, whether from you or other people. They might also come across as fake, so it’s hard to have a meaningful connection with them.
13. People with control freak tendencies
You want to feel free to choose your own life, but some people will want to micromanage everything you do. They might want to plan all your quality time together or try to persuade you to do what they like. It’s worth keeping them at a distance so you don’t let them take over too much.
14. People who are easily distracted
When talking to people who don’t really listen, it can feel like you’re talking to yourself. They might get easily distracted by their phone notifications or something in their surroundings, and it makes you feel dissed. You don’t need the constant blow to your self-esteem, so save the deep conversations for other people in your life who actually pay attention.
15. People who are too nice, too soon
Although it’s refreshing to meet someone who’s sweet and kind, if they’re suddenly love-bombing you with their praise and telling you how much they like you when they don’t even know you, it’s a red flag! This person could have a hidden agenda, so it’s a good idea to step back a bit before you think you’ve met your new bestie for life.
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