The Ultimate Guide To Being Single: Why It Rules And How To Make The Most Of It

If you’re newly single, you may feel like you’re at a loose end. Even if you’ve chosen to be on your own and are ready to enjoy it to the fullest, it can be hard to know where to start. Here’s how to embrace the single life and make the most out of this exciting time.

  1. Try new things. Being single is a great opportunity to shake things up a little. This is especially true if you’ve just come out of a relationship. While breakups are usually painful, the upheaval they cause does not have to be negative. Dive into change instead of trying to resist it. Enjoy the discomfort and revel in your own strength and transformation. Once you push yourself outside your routine, you’ll discover all kinds of new things about yourself and the world around you.
  2. Love yourself first. No, seriously. You’ve heard it a million times, but it’s true: loving yourself will solve just about every problem you face romantically. For example, when you love yourself, you won’t seek outside validation, you won’t put up with a partner who treats you like a backup option, and you won’t look for a relationship unless you truly want one. Learn to love yourself first, and you’ll be winning the single life and the coupled life if you choose to get back into it.
  3. Spoil yourself. Being in a relationship is all about giving. When you have a partner, you express your love by doing the little things that you know make them happy. Why should it be any different when you’re single? Use the extra time and money you have from being on your own to treat yourself. Buy yourself a new pair of shoes or get a facial. Splurge on a coffee machine or a luxurious candle. Whatever makes you happy, indulge yourself just as you would anyone else you love.
  4. Date around. If you choose to date while single, make the most of it. You’re not trying to find your forever partner right now, so why not date people you wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your life? Try going out with the hottest person you can find, or someone who is amazing in bed. Date someone who makes you feel a little bit reckless. Say “yes” to people who you would’ve said “no” to under normal circumstances. Above all, seek partners who make your life more fun. Now is not the time to feel the weight of deep connection or unrequited love.
  5. Travel on your own. Don’t be afraid of traveling by yourself. You’ll meet more people when you visit new places without a partner. Go somewhere that you feel safe so that you can tap into your adventurous side and step outside your comfort zone. You’ll find that the things that used to scare you–like going to a country where you don’t speak the language or taking a surfing lesson–are what make you feel alive. You’ll make new friends, build unforgettable memories, and learn to love your own company.
  6. Make your home a sanctuary. One of the best parts of being single is having control over your own space. You no longer have to tame your passion for the color pink or compromise on how many house plants you put in the kitchen. All the decisions are yours. Make your space your own. Use it as an expression of your creativity and personality. It doesn’t have to be expensive either. A little imagination goes a long way.
  7. Love your work or make some changes. If you’re happy in your relationship, most other things are bearable, even an unfulfilling job. But when you’re single, your professional life takes precedence. Make sure that you’re happy in your work. If you are, pour your heart into it and see how quickly you progress. If you don’t enjoy it, now is the time to make changes. Trust yourself to make the leap. You don’t have to be stuck in a job that doesn’t inspire you. You deserve more.
  8. Create personal goals. A lot of us wait around for a partner before we make concrete goals. But why wait? You are the only certainty in your future, so build goals around yourself, not around a relationship that may not last. Where do you want to be a year from now? Five years from now? 10 years from now? Define your goals and start taking steps to make them happen. There is no reason to wait.
  9. Focus on being single, not on finding a partner. One reason people struggle with being single is that they never accept their singleness. Instead, they equate being single with looking for a relationship. That mindset will always lead to dissatisfaction because the only way to enjoy being single is to embrace it. Instead of jumping straight back into dating, take a few months to be romance-free. Once you learn to enjoy the single life, you won’t want to go back to dating.
  10. Strengthen your friendships. Your friends will be there for you regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not. They’ll celebrate the good times and comfort you in the bad times. Being single means you have more time to cultivate your friendships and be the best friend you can be. Go on friend dates with your besties and reach out to people who you think you might have a lot in common with. Go all-in on friendships instead of romance while you’re single, and you’ll find that you aren’t missing anything.

Perks of being single you should never take for granted

If you aren’t single by choice, it’s probably hard to see a silver lining. But there are many reasons why being single rules. Here are a few things to remind yourself when you’re wishing for a relationship:

  1. Being single means you don’t have to compromise. From what shows you watch to which parties you go to, you are in complete control of your life when you’re single. You don’t have to find a happy medium. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and you don’t have to feel guilty about it.
  2. There’s no one to fight with about household chores. When you’re single, it’s always your turn to take out the garbage and wash the dishes. That may sound unappealing, but think about it: you will never have to argue with yourself or suppress resentment about putting away the laundry. You’re the only one who cares and the only one who can fix it. It’s pretty straightforward.
  3. You get to be selfish. Being in a relationship is a constant balancing act of trying to make your partner happy while not compromising your own needs. It can be exhausting, stressful, and unfulfilling. When you’re single, you get to focus all your attention on what makes you happy, and as a result, you’re a much more chilled-out person who has plenty of energy to spend on meaningful connections with friends and family.
Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.