If you’re falling for a guy, you need to know if the feeling is mutual or if he’s just in it for a good time. You could find out by dropping the l-word, but no one wants to be the first person to declare their love when they’re not sure it’s reciprocated and there’s no guarantee he’ll be ready to say it back even if he does love you. Here are some unmistakable signs that a man is falling in love with you so you don’t have to keep guessing.
- He jumps to your defense. When a man is falling in love with you, one of the biggest signs is that he becomes extremely protective. He stands up for you at the slightest provocation, making sure no one gets away with hurting your feelings or making even the most harmless joke at your expense. He respects you so much that can’t stand anyone who doesn’t do the same.
- He seems lost in his own thoughts sometimes. When he’s with you, he can sometimes get overwhelmed with the implications of his own feelings. Being in love is scary and dizzying, especially in the period before either person has vocalized the depth of their feelings. If he seems distant, it’s probably because he’s sifting through his emotions and imagining what would happen if he said “I love you” for the first time.
- He’s polite. If he’s falling for you, he will become chivalrous to the point of being comical. He’ll speed up so he can open a door for you before you reach it, he’ll pull out your chair at dinner, and he’ll go out of his way to make sure the temperature of the room suits you. Sometimes it seems as if he’s stepped back in time about five hundred years and taken on the role of a medieval knight who fusses over your needs.
- He worries about you. When you’re in love, you have everything to lose. You have become so important to him that he is fearful of something happening to you. He reminds you to drive safely and text him when you get home. If you’re late for a date, he worries about you. If he hasn’t heard from you all day, he’ll text you to make sure everything’s okay. His heart is tied to you now, and your well-being is a matter of personal importance for him.
- He isn’t afraid to show emotion. He doesn’t just share intimate details about himself and his life, he shares his feelings too. If he’s had a bad day, he isn’t afraid to tell you. If he’s had a good day or accomplished something he’s proud of, he wants to share it with you. This level of emotional openness is a sign that he is getting ready to share the most vulnerable truth of them all: that he’s in love with you.
- He respects your time. When a guy is only interested in a casual relationship, his motivations will always be one-sided. He’ll only be available when it’s convenient for him, he will take care of his needs before yours, and he won’t make much of an effort to stick to plans that no longer suit him. When a guy is in love, by contrast, he sees your needs as being of equal or greater importance to his own.
- His compliments aren’t just about your appearance anymore. At the beginning of a relationship, guys often focus on what they like about a woman’s appearance. But love requires a deeper connection. If he’s falling for you, his favorite things about you will have nothing to do with what you look like. His compliments will focus on your personality and the little quirks that are unique to you.
- You’re spending a lot of time together. He can’t get enough of spending time with you. You’re together so much that you practically live together. You’re leaving things at each other’s houses and carpooling to work. You spend almost every night with each other and make time to be together during the day. In the early stages of love, a couple is inseparable. Each day, you feel more and more at home together.
- He’s introduced you to his friends. If he introduces you to his friends, you can be sure he isn’t just interested in a fling. It’s a sign that he wants the people in his life to get to know you and see the two of you as a package. Most people value their friend’s judgment above all others. Being introduced to them reveals that he admires you and wants you to be a major part of his life.
- He initiates conversations about the future. He is imagining a future with you and is so comfortable with the idea that he talks about it openly, without a hint of self-consciousness. He uses “we” and “us” casually instead of always speaking in the first person. He’s begun to see the two of you as a unit, and he takes it for granted that when he talks about next month or next year, you’ll be a part of it.
Signs a man isn’t falling in love with you and never will
Just because you haven’t noticed all of the above signs just yet doesn’t mean that you’ll never fall in love. If it’s very early in the relationship and you’re taking it slowly, it could just be that those intense emotions are going to take a little time. However, in the interest of not wasting your valuable time, here are some signs that this man isn’t falling in love with you and never will.
- He talks to you about other women. It should go without saying that he can’t possibly be in love with you or anywhere close to it if he feels like it’s appropriate to talk to you about other women. I’m not talking about mentioning his ex or a female colleague, but more about details of women he finds “hot” and would like to sleep with/has slept with. If this is happening, you need to cut your losses and get out now.
- He’s not really interested in meeting your family and friends. A man who’s falling in love with you will want to be integrated into your life completely, so getting to know and getting close to your friends and family will be a major priority. If he’s not only cool with not being around them but actively avoids doing so, his feelings for you really aren’t all that deep.
- He keeps his distance emotionally. As you get closer to someone and your feelings get deeper, you should feel more comfortable opening up to your partner about your deepest thoughts, feelings, fears, and aspirations. It becomes natural to want to share everything about yourself with the other person, which is why it’s definitely not a good sign if he refuses to do this.
- He freaks out when you get too close. When you get emotional or start pouring out your feelings to him, does he get freaked out and try to exit stage left ASAP? He’s not only uncomfortable with his own feelings around you, he’s uncomfortable with yours too. There’s not a chance of a deeper, more loving relationship because he just doesn’t want to go there.
- He has a history of cheating/being a player. He may insist that he’s changed and that his life is so much different now, but is it possible that those player/cheater ways never actually left him. It’s one thing to claim that you’re finally done playing the field and ready to settle down, but putting that into practice is a whole other can of worms.
- He never gets jealous. You don’t want him to be so jealous that he gets violent and starts throwing his weight around, but how can a man be falling in love with you if seeing you talking to another man or knowing another man is flirting with him makes you feel nothing? It’s time for you to go now.