40 Undeniable Signs A Man Is Falling In Love With You (And 10 He’s Not)

If you’re falling for a guy, you need to know if the feeling is mutual or if he’s just in it for a good time. You could find out by dropping the l-word, but no one wants to be the first person to declare their love when they’re not sure it’s reciprocated and there’s no guarantee he’ll be ready to say it back even if he does love you. Here are some unmistakable signs that a man is falling in love with you so you don’t have to keep guessing.

  1. He jumps to your defense. When a man is falling in love with you, one of the biggest signs is that he becomes extremely protective. He stands up for you at the slightest provocation, making sure no one gets away with hurting your feelings or making even the most harmless joke at your expense. He respects you so much that can’t stand anyone who doesn’t do the same.
  2. He seems lost in his own thoughts sometimes. When he’s with you, he can sometimes get overwhelmed with the implications of his own feelings. Being in love is scary and dizzying, especially in the period before either person has vocalized the depth of their feelings. If he seems distant, it’s probably because he’s sifting through his emotions and imagining what would happen if he said “I love you” for the first time.
  3. He’s a perfect gentleman. If he’s falling for you, he will become chivalrous to the point of being comical. He’ll speed up so he can open a door for you before you reach it, he’ll pull out your chair at dinner, and he’ll go out of his way to make sure the temperature of the room suits you. Sometimes it seems as if he’s stepped back in time about five hundred years and taken on the role of a medieval knight who fusses over your needs.
  4. He worries about you. When you’re in love, you have everything to lose. You have become so important to him that he is fearful of something happening to you. He reminds you to drive safely and text him when you get home. If you’re late for a date, he worries about you. If he hasn’t heard from you all day, he’ll text you to make sure everything’s okay. His heart is tied to you now, and your well-being is a matter of personal importance for him.
  5. He isn’t afraid to show emotion. He doesn’t just share intimate details about himself and his life, he shares his feelings too. If he’s had a bad day, he isn’t afraid to tell you. If he’s had a good day or accomplished something he’s proud of, he wants to share it with you. This level of emotional openness is a sign that he is getting ready to share the most vulnerable truth of them all: that he’s in love with you.
  6. He respects your time. When a guy is only interested in a casual relationship, his motivations will always be one-sided. He’ll only be available when it’s convenient for him, he will take care of his needs before yours, and he won’t make much of an effort to stick to plans that no longer suit him. When a guy is in love, by contrast, he sees your needs as being of equal or greater importance to his own.
  7. His compliments aren’t just about your appearance anymore. At the beginning of a relationship, guys often focus on what they like about a woman’s appearance. But love requires a deeper connection. If he’s falling for you, his favorite things about you will have nothing to do with what you look like. His compliments will focus on your personality and the little quirks that are unique to you.
  8. You’re spending a lot of time together. He can’t get enough of spending time with you. You’re together so much that you practically live together. You’re leaving things at each other’s houses and carpooling to work. You spend almost every night with each other and make time to be together during the day. In the early stages of love, a couple is inseparable. Each day, you feel more and more at home together.
  9. He’s introduced you to his friends. If he introduces you to his friends, you can be sure he isn’t just interested in a fling. It’s a sign that he wants the people in his life to get to know you and see the two of you as a package. Most people value their friend’s judgment above all others. Being introduced to them reveals that he admires you and wants you to be a major part of his life.
  10. He initiates conversations about the future. He is imagining a future with you and is so comfortable with the idea that he talks about it openly, without a hint of self-consciousness. He uses “we” and “us” casually instead of always speaking in the first person. He’s begun to see the two of you as a unit, and he takes it for granted that when he talks about next month or next year, you’ll be a part of it.
  11. He’s consistent with his communication. He reaches out frequently just to see how your day is going or to share something interesting. Even when you’re body super busy, he wants you to know that you’re on his mind and that he can’t wait to see you again. He also wants to keep you up to date with what’s going on in his life because he loves you being part of it.
  12. He prioritizes time with you. This is one of the most obvious signs he’s falling in love with you. No matter how busy he is or how hectic his schedule becomes, he makes an effort to spend quality time with you. Sometimes that means you only have enough time to grab a quick coffee before heading into the office for work, but that’s okay. He’ll take what he can get.
  13. You have deep conversations. He’s interested in discussing more profound topics and getting to know you on a deeper level. Whether you’re talking about academic subjects or childhood trauma, he loves digging deeper into your brain to see how your mind works and what it’s all about.
  14. He’s happy to compromise. He’s willing to meet you halfway and make sacrifices for the relationship. One of the biggest signs a man is falling in love with you is when he’s sometimes willing to forgo what he wants to make sure you get what you desire. He knows it works both ways and he’s happy to do his part.
  15. He remembers the little details. He recalls the little things you’ve shared with him, even if it’s something as silly as the fact that you had your 8th birthday party at McDonald’s Playland. He’s so focused on you when you’re together that he never misses a beat.
  16. His body language says it all. He maintains eye contact, leans in when you talk, and frequently touches you affectionately. He naturally moves his body closer to yours out of a desire to be as near to you as possible. Sometimes he even seems a bit nervous because he can’t believe how strong his feelings for you really are.
  17. He genuinely listens when you speak. When you talk, he actively listens and values your opinion. He’s not busy scrolling his phone or staring at the TV. Even if what you’re telling him isn’t something he’s particularly interested in — hey, the second season of “Gilmore Girls” is a bit of a niche interest — he’s still tuned all the way in because if something matters to you, it matters to him.
  18. He gets jealous, but not in an obnoxious or scary way. A small amount of jealousy can indicate he values the relationship. It’s also one of the biggest signs a guy is falling for you. He likes you so much — loves, really! — that he doesn’t want anyone to come in and whisk you away. It’s actually kind of sweet that he thinks that’s possible.
  19. He asks your opinion on stuff. Whether it’s choosing a shirt or making a life decision, he considers your viewpoint. He knows that you’re smart, considered, and that he wants to do things that serve your relationship as a couple. Even if he ultimately disagrees with what you say, he still takes it seriously and respects it.
  20. He misses you when you’re not around. One of the biggest signs a man is falling in love with you is when he struggles to be away from you. When you’re apart, he often expresses that he misses you and can’t wait for you to be together. He appreciates that time apart is necessary and healthy, but that doesn’t mean he’s all that fond of it.
  21. He values your happiness. He goes out of his way to do things he knows will make you happy. There’s nothing he loves more than putting a smile on your face because he knows he’s the reason it’s there. This means he’s always doing things he know will brighten your mood and make your day. Yep, he’s got it bad.
  22. He includes you in his world. He wants to share his hobbies and interests with you. Whether it’s asking you to come see him play baseball this weekend with his friends or showing off his collection of model trains (hey, I dunno, people are into all sorts!), he brings you in on everything because he’s excited to share with you.
  23. He’s consistently reliable. He’s someone you can count on and he keeps his promises. When a guy is falling for you, he wants to become a stable presence in your life. That means if he says he’ll do something or be somewhere, he makes it happen. He never wants to give you a reason to doubt him.
  24. He always puts in the work to resolve conflicts. Arguments happen even in the best relationships, but he doesn’t just throw in the towel or stomp off in a huff. Instead of walking away, he tries to address and solve any issues. He knows your relationship is worth giving that sort of attention and energy to, so he’s there for it.
  25. He surprises you with little gifts. He occasionally surprises you, not necessarily with material things but with gestures that show he cares. It could be as simple as gas station flowers or even some pasta he made that he knows you love. He wants you to feel special and appreciated on a daily basis, and this is one way he shows it.
  26. He sees beyond your flaws. While he acknowledges them, he sees and loves you beyond your imperfections. He accepts them as part of who you are and knows that you’re a valuable, worthwhile, amazing woman with them. In fact, it’s those flaws that make you the woman he’s falling in love with, so how could he complain?
  27. He seems way more affectionate these days. Whether it’s holding hands or cuddling, one of the obvious signs a guy is falling in love with you is when he ups the affection. It could be PDA while you’re out on date night or simple hand-holding, hugs, or kisses while you’re hanging out at home. Either way, he’s very touchy-feely these days.
  28. He values the things you have to say. He genuinely respects and often seeks your perspective on various matters. He wants to know what you make of stories on the news or your theories on the latest Netflix docuseries. No matter the topic, he’s curious about your opinions and loves hearing them.
  29. He feels at home with you. If he’s expressed that he feels a sense of belonging and comfort when he’s with you, this is a pretty good indication that he’s falling for you. He knows he doesn’t need to keep up any time of pretense or pretend to be someone he’s not because you’re so accepting and non-judgmental. When a guy knows he’s free to be 100% him, he can finally let his guard down.
  30. He loves your strange little quirks. Maybe you sleep with a shower cap on because you don’t want to wash your hair or you eat sandwiches all around the crusts first and save the middle for last. Instead of finding your quirky habits odd or off-putting, he thinks they’re cute and absolutely adores them because he’s head over heels for you.
  31. He’s always fidgeting around you. He seems like he has ants in his pants because he’s so overwhelmed by the amount of love he feels for you and he doesn’t know what to do with it. While he can tell you how he feels (and hopefully he will), at the minute, it’s so intense that it shows itself physically.
  32. He’s on his most gentlemanly behavior. Even if he gets a bit rowdy with the boys, when he’s with you, he minds his manners. He doesn’t swear like a sailor or get too rambunctious and act like a big kid. Instead, he wants to show you that he’s mature and capable of handling an adult relationship so you never doubt that.
  33. The way he smiles at you says it all. When you enter a room, his whole face lights up. His eyes get brighter, his smile takes up his whole face, and you can just feel it in your heart that he loves you. He doesn’t look at anyone else that way and you’ve never had anyone look at you that way, so it’s clearly something special.
  34. He won’t stop bragging about you to other people. When he talks to his mom on the phone, he’s always going on about how amazing you are at your job and how everyone loves you. When you have brunch with his friends, he brags about how quickly you read and how intelligent you are. He’s clearly your biggest cheerleader, and it actually feels pretty amazing.
  35. He goes out of his way to make your life easier. Whether it’s grabbing your blazers from the dry cleaner before it closes when you’re working late or picking up milk and bread at the corner shop because he noticed you’re out, one of the biggest signs a man is falling in love with you is when he spends time and energy doing little things you could do yourself just to make your life a bit less frenzied and stressful.
  36. He uses “we” a lot. It’s not just what he’s doing or what you’re doing, it’s what both of you are doing together. You hear him chatting to other people, saying “we’re going out this weekend” or “we’re thinking about what we’re making for dinner.” He already sees you as a unit
  37. He’s full of energy when you’re together. It’s like being with you lights a rocket under him and he’s completely reinvigorated. In fact, sometimes he seems a bit hyper, but it’s just because you put him in such a good mood and he loves being with you so much. He’ll probably settle down soon.
  38. He invests in your relationship. Whether it’s talking about moving in together (and actually looking at apartment listings) or simply making room for you in his life, his feelings for you are serious and he wants you to know that he’s in it for the long haul. If that’s not a clear sign of his commitment, what is?
  39. He finds himself getting a bit choked up sometimes. When he’s expressing his feelings to you, sometimes it seems like he’s going to cry or he’s having trouble getting it out. This shows just how genuine he is when it comes to his approach to your relationship and how much he loves being with you.
  40. He outright tells you he’s falling in love with you. You don’t need to look for signs a guy is falling for you when he tells you straight-up. If those words come out of his mouth, look no further — it’s pretty clear what’s going on here.

Signs a man isn’t falling in love with you and never will

unhappy couple laying in bed together

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Just because you haven’t noticed all of the above signs just yet doesn’t mean that you’ll never fall in love. If it’s very early in the relationship and you’re taking it slowly, it could just be that those intense emotions are going to take a little time. However, in the interest of not wasting your valuable time, here are some signs that this man isn’t falling in love with you and never will.

  1. He talks to you about other women. It should go without saying that he can’t possibly be in love with you or anywhere close to it if he feels like it’s appropriate to talk to you about other women. I’m not talking about mentioning his ex or a female colleague, but more about details of women he finds “hot” and would like to sleep with/has slept with. If this is happening, you need to cut your losses and get out now.
  2. He’s not really interested in meeting your family and friends. A man who’s falling in love with you will want to be integrated into your life completely, so getting to know and getting close to your friends and family will be a major priority. If he’s not only cool with not being around them but actively avoids doing so, his feelings for you really aren’t all that deep.
  3. He keeps his distance emotionally. As you get closer to someone and your feelings get deeper, you should feel more comfortable opening up to your partner about your deepest thoughts, feelings, fears, and aspirations. It becomes natural to want to share everything about yourself with the other person, which is why it’s definitely not a good sign if he refuses to do this.
  4. He freaks out when you get too close. When you get emotional or start pouring out your feelings to him, does he get freaked out and try to exit stage left ASAP? He’s not only uncomfortable with his own feelings around you, he’s uncomfortable with yours too. There’s not a chance of a deeper, more loving relationship because he just doesn’t want to go there.
  5. He has a history of cheating/being a player. He may insist that he’s changed and that his life is so much different now, but is it possible that those player/cheater ways never actually left him. It’s one thing to claim that you’re finally done playing the field and ready to settle down, but putting that into practice is a whole other can of worms.
  6. He never gets jealous. You don’t want him to be so jealous that he gets violent and starts throwing his weight around, but how can a man be falling in love with you if seeing you talking to another man or knowing another man is flirting with him makes you feel nothing? It’s time for you to go now.
  7. He goes AWOL for long periods of time. Sure, he might be honest and say he’s going to be busy this week, but if he’s not even bothered about it and doesn’t keep in touch even to say hi during that time, it’s clear he’s not falling in love with you at all. In fact, he may even be planning a breakup.
  8. He claims he doesn’t believe in love. Lots of guys use this as a way to send a message early on that things will never get serious between you. How could they when he doesn’t think love actually exists? While you might be tempted to think you could change his mind, don’t even bother.
  9. He ignores your texts. While you get that people get busy and he can’t message 24/7, you know he’s attached to his phone and he saw your message. So, why is it taking him all day or even several to write you back? It’s clear that you’re not a priority to him.
  10. He’s always nitpicking on little things about you. Whether it’s comparing you to his ex and all the traits she had that you didn’t or making sly digs about things you wear or say, he’s not falling in love with you if he doesn’t love everything (or at least most things) about you. Do yourself a favor and leave him in the dust.
Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.
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