I Want You To Be Happy, Even If It Means I’m Not In The Picture

Realizing that someone you love isn’t right for you is tough. Letting them go is tougher. Wishing them well even after you’re removed from their life? Well, it’s sometimes one of the hardest things you can do. Breaking up with you may have been painful, but this is why I still want to see you smile even though you’re no longer mine:

  1. You’re actually a great person. We might not agree on everything, but it doesn’t mean we’re lousy people. I started dating you because I thought you were awesome, and I still think that today. Awesome people deserve happiness, and unlike other former boyfriends who deserve to be hit in the face by karma and maybe a baseball bat, you deserve to be spoiled by life.
  2. I still believe we were soulmates, just not the forever kind. We really did find each other at just the right time in our lives, and I genuinely believe it was destiny. We were perfect for each other… and then we weren’t, and that’s okay. I still believe that at that time in my life, there is no one on Earth who could have been better for me. Who am I to try to hold you back from finding your next soulmate — maybe the one who will ALWAYS be perfect for you?
  3. You’re a great boyfriend and deserve to have a great girlfriend. You weren’t always perfect, but hey, neither was I. But knowing how many utter douchebags there are in the world, you were a pretty awesome person to date. Anyone would be lucky to be able to call you her boyfriend, and even though I’m sad sometimes that I’ll never call you mine again, I’m happy for the next woman that gets to have that privilege.
  4. You shouldn’t be miserable just because we weren’t meant to be. There are lots of people out there who hate their exes just because they’re exes, but that’s not me. You never did anything so crappy to me that would make you deserving of an unhappy future. We simply didn’t mesh well towards the end, and you shouldn’t be punished for that any more than I should. When I say that I wish you the best, I really mean it.
  5. My jealousy shouldn’t stop you from finding someone new. Yes, I admit, it does suck to imagine you with someone else. It probably always will, even after I’ve already moved on and found someone new as well. But just as I’m not going to become a spinster out of fear of making you jealous, I hope that you don’t hold back from falling in love again because you want to protect my feelings. Even if it doesn’t happen immediately, even if I get a pang in the gut every time I think about it, I’ll get over it. I promise.
  6. I love you as more than just a boyfriend. What made us such a great couple for so long is that we were each other’s best friends. We loved each other not only as romantic partners but as people. I may not be IN love with you anymore, but the deeper kind of love I’ve felt for you for so long still remains. Just as I’d want my friends and family members that I love to be happy, I want the same thing for you.
  7. My temporary hurt isn’t worth your permanent happiness. Look, I’m human, and even though I really do want the best for you, I know it’s going to hurt when I see you living life without me as an integral part of it. I already miss sharing so many of the experiences we had as a couple, and I’m sure I’m going to feel a little sick when I see you getting tagged in some new girl’s photos on Facebook. But you know what? I’ll get over it. I’m not going to cross my fingers hoping you’ll hold back in life just because I haven’t completely moved on.
  8. Just because you weren’t right for me doesn’t mean you won’t be right for someone else. In the end, our puzzle pieces didn’t match up as nicely as we’d hoped they would, but yours is going to be just perfect for someone else’s. You’re not one of those guys who is so asinine that I’d hope every girl in the world sees you for who you “really are.” You’re kind, you’re sweet and you’re normal, and some woman out there deserves someone like you. For both of your sakes, I hope you find each other and experience the love we all dream of having.
  9. It would hurt me far more to see you miserable with me than content without me. Things were a little rough towards the end for us. Can you imagine how much worse they would’ve gotten if we’d kept trying to make things work? I felt guilty and terrible just knowing that you weren’t as happy as you could be with me; imagining you miserable and feeling trapped in our relationship is a straight-up nightmare. As much as I hate letting you go, I know it would have killed me knowing that I was the reason for your misery and that all I had to do to make you happier was to end things.
  10. I would hope you’d wish the same for me. What we had was really special, and although it didn’t end as a fairy tale, it did end in mutual respect and care. That’s really all I need to wish someone well, and if I know you, you feel the same way. I imagine that it’s going to be difficult for you to see me carrying on happily without you as I once thought I’d never be able to do, but I also know that you’d prefer that to seeing me walk around with a rain cloud over my head. If you can wish for my happiness, I feel truly at peace wishing for yours.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu blue belt. She's currently hanging out in Costa Rica with her cat and a lot of really big bugs.