People with narcissistic traits will never be good partners, largely because their main concern is themselves every single time. That’s why it’s so important to recognize people like this when you come across them — the earlier you kick them to the curb, the more likely you are to protect yourself from heartbreak. Keep your eyes peeled for these signs that you’re dating a narcissist — and then stop ASAP.
1. They Love to Talk About Themselves.
If your date talks about themselves as if they’re the star of their own movie, watch out. They’ll recount stories where they’re always the hero or the victim, never the villain. Their conversations are a one-way street, with little interest in your thoughts or feelings. It’s like they’re giving a monologue rather than having a dialogue. You start to feel more like an audience member than a partner in this relationship.
2. Their Charm Turns Off and On Like a Switch.
Narcissists can be incredibly charming, but it’s like they have an on-off switch. One minute they’re all sweet compliments and smiles, and the next, they’re cold and dismissive. This switch flips based on what they need from you or how they want to manipulate the situation. It’s confusing and can leave you feeling unstable and unsure about where you stand.
3. They Need Constant Admiration and Validation.
iStock
Get ready for an endless need for admiration if you’re dating a narcissist. They crave validation like it’s oxygen, and it’s your job to supply it. They’ll fish for compliments and get upset if you don’t praise them enough. Your role becomes that of a cheerleader, constantly boosting their ego, with little appreciation for your efforts. (BTW, if you keep running into people like this in the dating world, check out our sister site, Sweetn. They use actual science to change your dating life in simple but mind-blowing ways.)
4. They Lack Empathy and Understanding.
Narcissists struggle with empathy. They find it hard to understand or care about your feelings. If you’re upset, they might dismiss it or make it about themselves. Your emotional needs are often ignored or belittled because they just can’t connect with what you’re going through. It’s like talking to a brick wall when you need support or understanding.
5. They Gaslight You to Make You Doubt Yourself.
Gaslighting is a narcissist’s favorite tool. They twist facts, deny things they’ve said, or shift blame to make you doubt your memory and sanity. It’s a mind game where they come out on top, and you’re left questioning your judgment. This tactic can be subtle, slowly chipping away at your confidence and self-worth.
6. They Use Love as a Tool for Manipulation.
For a narcissist, love isn’t about connection; it’s about control. They use affection as a tool to manipulate and dominate. One day they shower you with love, the next they withdraw it, keeping you off-balance. This push-pull dynamic is designed to keep you hooked, always chasing their approval and affection.
7. They Always Play the Victim.
No matter what happens, a narcissist never takes the blame. They have an uncanny ability to twist every situation so they appear as the victim. If there’s a disagreement or they’ve clearly done something wrong, get ready for a story where they’re the one who’s been wronged. It’s never their fault, and they’ll have a list of excuses or blame others, including you, for their actions.
8. Their Jealousy and Possessiveness Go Overboard.
Jealousy isn’t just a minor issue with narcissists; it’s an obsession. They can be incredibly possessive, treating you more like a prized possession than a partner. If you spend time with friends, excel at work, or even have hobbies, they might react with unreasonable jealousy. This behavior is not just about their insecurities; it’s about controlling your life and who you interact with.
9. They Belittle and Criticize to Keep You Down.
Expect a constant stream of criticism if you’re dating a narcissist. They have a knack for pinpointing your insecurities and using them as ammunition. These criticisms are often subtle – a sarcastic comment here, a backhanded compliment there. It’s all designed to keep you feeling small and dependent on them for validation.
10. They Project Their Faults Onto You.
Narcissists are masters of projection. They’ll accuse you of things they’re guilty of themselves. If they’re unfaithful, they’ll accuse you of cheating. If they’re lying, they’ll call you a liar. It’s a defense mechanism that shifts the focus off their faults and keeps you on the defensive.
11. They Demand Perfection and Special Treatment.
To a narcissist, they’re the epitome of perfection, and they expect the same from you – but only when it suits them. They demand special treatment and get upset if they don’t receive it. Whether it’s expecting you to cancel plans for them or demanding your undivided attention, their needs and desires always come first.
12. They Use Your Weaknesses Against You.
From the moment a narcissist enters your life, they’re studying you – learning what makes you tick, your fears, your insecurities. Once they know your weaknesses, they use them as leverage. They manipulate and exploit these vulnerabilities to maintain power and control in the relationship. It’s a tactic that keeps you feeling trapped and powerless.
Like what you’ve read? Follow Bolde on MSN for more!
