Most people don’t necessarily relish getting into big, blow-out fights, but they also realize that they have to confront someone when they have a problem so the molehill doesn’t become a mountain. If you have a fear of confrontation, not only are you ensuring that you end up miserable with your needs unmet, but you also inevitably ruin your relationships. Here’s why.
1. You’re Letting Resentment Build Up.
Ever noticed how tiny issues become big monsters when you don’t address them? That’s what happens when you avoid confrontation. You might think you’re keeping the peace, but all you’re really doing is letting resentment build up. Before you know it, you’re mad about the toothpaste cap and not the real issues. And let’s be real, no relationship can survive on a diet of resentment.
2. You’re Not Getting Your Needs Met.
Here’s the thing about avoiding confrontation — your needs end up being ignored. If you’re not speaking up about what you want or how you feel, you can bet you’re not going to get it. It’s like you’re playing a game of charades, hoping the other person will guess what’s on your mind. But let’s face it, people aren’t mind readers.
3. You’re Making Things Weird.
Ever noticed how things get super weird when there’s a ton of stuff left unsaid? That’s another downside of dodging confrontation. You end up with this awkward tension that hangs around like a bad smell. Before long, you’re walking on eggshells, and that’s no way to have a relationship. (P.S. If a lot of your relationships have ended up like this and you want to have something healthier next time around, head over to our sister site, Sweetn. They can help!)
4. You’re Missing Out on Real Connection.
Here’s a secret about confrontation: it can actually bring you closer. Yeah, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s also a chance to understand each other better. When you avoid it, you’re missing out on the chance to really connect. It’s like opting for a shallow pool when you could be diving into the deep end.
5. You’re Not Growing.
Confrontation is like a workout for your relationship muscles. It’s tough, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s also how you grow. When you avoid it, you’re stunting your growth. You can’t really evolve and create something bigger and better together if you’re keeping yourself small.
6. You’re Setting Yourself Up for Failure.
Avoiding confrontation is like building a house on shaky ground. Sure, it might look good for a while, but it won’t stand up to the storms. Every time you dodge an issue, you’re adding another crack in your relationship’s foundation. And sooner or later, those cracks are going to cause some serious damage.
7. You’re Not Being True to Yourself.
When you avoid confrontation, you’re not being true to yourself. You’re keeping your feelings, your thoughts, and your needs locked up, and that’s not cool. You deserve to be heard, to be understood, and to be loved for who you really are, so don’t shortchange yourself. Embrace confrontation when necessary and start building healthier relationships.
8. You’re Giving the Silent Treatment.
If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you know it’s not fun. However, that’s exactly what happens when you avoid confrontation. You stop talking, start ignoring, and basically shut down communication. Once you stop talking, you might as well call it quits because you’re stuck in a rut you’ll never get out of.
9. You’re Creating Unnecessary Drama.
Here’s the ironic thing about avoiding confrontation – it often leads to more drama, not less. You think you’re dodging a bullet, but really, you’re just delaying the explosion. And when it does blow up, it’s usually messier, louder, and way more dramatic than it needed to be.
10. You’re Not Practicing Honesty.
Avoiding confrontation is basically like lying by omission. You’re not telling the whole truth about how you feel or what you think, and that’s not fair to you or the other person. Honesty might be tough, but it’s also the glue that holds relationships together.
11. You’re Building a Wall, Not a Bridge.
Confrontation, when done right, can be a bridge that connects two people. It’s a chance to understand and be understood. When you avoid it, you’re building a wall instead. The more barriers you put between you, the harder it’ll be to connect. Your relationship will start to fade before you know it.
12. You’re Playing the Victim Card.
When you avoid confrontation, you’re basically handing over control to the other person. You’re playing the victim, whether you realize it or not, and that’s not a healthy dynamic. In a relationship, no one is supposed to be a victim or a villain – you’re supposed to be a team.
13. You’re Forgetting About Respect.
Avoiding confrontation is a sign of disrespect – to yourself and to the other person. It says that you don’t trust the relationship enough to withstand a disagreement. However, respect is about valuing each other’s opinions and feelings even when they’re hard to hear. Don’t let fear of confrontation rob you of the respect that you and your relationship deserve.
14. You’re Encouraging Passive-Aggressiveness.
If you’re always dodging confrontation, you might find yourself slipping into passive-aggressive behavior. You know, those snarky comments, the heavy sighs, the eye rolls. And let’s be honest, passive-aggressiveness is like a leaky tap – it’s annoying, unproductive, and it’s not gonna fix itself.
15. You’re Inviting Misunderstandings.
Without open communication, it’s easy for things to get twisted, assumptions to be made, and feelings to be hurt. If you just say what you mean clearly, your partner will know where you’re at and how you feel and they can react accordingly.
16. You’re Not Showing Love.
Lastly, avoiding confrontation isn’t an act of love, even though you might think you’re being kind by not stirring the pot. True love is about caring enough to confront the hard stuff. It’s about wanting the best for each other, even if it means having uncomfortable conversations. So don’t mistake avoidance for affection, because real love isn’t afraid of a little confrontation.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
