One second he’s all over you and the next he goes MIA without explanation. You can’t concentrate or eat and you’re starting to feel a bit sick to your stomach. The questions on your mind are probably: “What did I do wrong? Did I say anything to offend him? Why is he acting up, or is it just me?” Relax. As much as it may be distressing when a guy gives you mixed signals in a relationship, it honestly may not be your fault at all. Here are nine likely answers to what a guy’s mixed vibes may really mean.
- It’s a normal thing to do (for guys). Most guys do it, sadly. When he’s after you, he may go on and off like a switch so as not to seem too interested in you. His goal is exactly what’s happening now—for you to worry! A guy going MIA on you suddenly after being all nice and chatty may mean that he just wants you to miss him and crave him, which is one way for him to know if you really like him as well! It’s an immature tactic but it happens frequently.
- He wants you to give him the green light first. If a guy likes you, he’s usually going to be all over you. However, sometimes guys like to step back and let the woman take the wheel. His sudden withdrawal may give off the vibe that he doesn’t like you anymore, but it’s really not that. Maybe he’s just scared of being disappointed, maybe not. All he just wants is for you to initiate action before he follows your lead and takes over the chasing.
- He doesn’t really like you but doesn’t want to spoil things. Mixed signals may also mean a guy is really not interested in you. However, hell will freeze over before he opens up and tells you. He probably likes you as a friend so he doesn’t want to spoil things between you two, especially if he knows that you like him. In this case, he’ll try to keep up a vibe but he’ll halt just in time before it goes too far. It’s a bad situation to be in, but it happens.
- He likes you but he’s not ready to get serious yet. Men know that most women crave relationships. Sometimes when a guy isn’t really keen on getting into a relationship or on taking his current relationship further, if he senses that you’re not exactly on the same page, his actions may change and his vibe may suddenly begin to fluctuate.
- He just wants to get under the sheets. As weird as it may seem, guys can be very patient when it comes to sex. They can stick with you for months just to get into your bed. When a guy is giving you mixed signals that almost exclusively involves sexual attention—he won’t go out on a date with you but he wants to spend the night at your place, for example—then it’s likely he just wants to keep things at bedroom level.
- Maybe he’s just shy and non-communicative. Guys are known to be extremely poor communicators. We could blame that on the fact that society usually forces them to ‘man up’ and not be emotional, which is really silly. It may therefore be difficult for a guy to open up and get all comfortable with talking about his feelings and emotions. If you feel like your guy isn’t talking much (or at all), chances are he’s being a ‘man’ and bottling up a lot inside. It really may not mean he doesn’t fancy you. It just means you’ve got some work to do. Help him feel more comfortable!
- Cheating alert! This is yet another possible meaning to a guy’s mixed signals. If your guy is giving you some funny attitude, then it’s possible there’s someone else behind the scenes. The thing about this is that most times, a woman’s instincts are always right. That being said, it’s not advisable to jump to conclusions if you only think your guy is playing away. Take your time and do your research. It’s better to have evidence backing your suspicions than to jump to conclusions and discover that you were assuming all along, which can compromise the trust situation in your relationship.
- He’s tired of everything. Sometimes the initial vibe of a new relationship does wear out with time. And it happens faster for guys. If your guy seems to be playing ‘now you see me, now you don’t’ in your relationship, if he doesn’t seem as interested as he did when you first came together, or if it suddenly begins to feel like you’re the one doing all the communication work, then maybe he’s just grown tired of the relationship and is only biding his time before he calls it quits.