As kids, we all saw love as a princess tale, a happily ever after, a beautiful fantasy where nothing could ever go wrong. But in reality, love is a lot more complicated and not always glamorous. What does it really mean to love someone? There are plenty of things that no one talks about but definitely should before committing long-term to love.
Your connection with them is unreal. Everyone has heard of having a magnetic attraction to someone, but when you’re in love, it’s an unreal experience. Even when having needed alone time, you can’t help but think of them. Sure, everyone is obsessed with their new S.O. when they first start dating, but you’ll know it’s the real deal when you still feel a strong connection with them after an extended period of time. You may already be planning a perfect engagement and wedding in your mind.
Everything you plan involves them. No matter if you’re making plans with your friends or long-term goal-setting, it’s no longer just you anymore. Your love will also be involved in the picture. Thinking of getting a new job or moving? You always consult your partner first.
Being with them during their worst moments. Deaths in the family, getting fired or laid off from a job, and so many other bad things can happen during the course of your relationship. But when you love someone, you’re committed to helping them no matter what. You believe in them and will fight to live an amazing life together, even when things get rough. This can include both physical and mental illness.
They’re sexy to you at their least sexy times. Do you still find them gorgeous even with morning breath? Maybe they fart a lot at night? Yes, these things are gross and annoying, but it doesn’t lessen your affection for them over time. While you won’t always want to rip their clothes off right then and there, love means that attraction is always there on a deep level and it can’t be erased.
You don’t run during the harder moments. When they’re grumpy, upset, scared, or otherwise unpleasant, you’re right there next to them. Even when the honeymoon phase ends, you feel a certain comfort being there for them, even if they aren’t at their best. Not only that, but you’re the only person who can manage to put a smile on their face in those times, which makes you feel pretty damn special.
You’ve gotten through the rough times and still feel a strong commitment to them. After that first “big fight”, it might have felt like the world ended, but it didn’t. As a matter of fact, you know that no matter what, you can make it through the worst storms.
Being motivated to be your best self. Did you slack on workouts and eating healthier before meeting them? Now, you prioritize your health because you want to be with them as long as possible. You also may be more motivated to achieve big goals and dreams because you have them by your side. You may even be more daring and adventurous with them.
You focus on their happiness, not just your own. During the younger years of dating, we might have been selfish and only thought about ourselves and what we wanted. Now, we consider what our partners want and need, too. Just remember that this should go both ways and your partner should also do the same for you.
You love hearing about the “boring” things that happen during their day. You’ll suddenly find yourself looking forward to hearing how their work day was, what they had for lunch, and other small moments that normally would be a big, boring turn-off during a first date. You really want to know every little part about them.
You’re totally okay if they want to spend time alone or on hobbies and interests that don’t interest you. In fact, you encourage it! You deeply respect them as an individual and even though you aren’t well-versed in the things they love, you still know that it is something important to them. You are surprised to find that you can, in fact, live without being next to them 24/7 and are fine with it. You know they’ll come back recharged and still as in love with you as ever.
You schedule time in your busy schedule just to see them. Even if you have a busy schedule, you can always find time for them. While it was easier with other relationships where you didn’t feel as intensely about your partner, being deeply in love with someone will make you certain to schedule time with them.
You may have to compromise quite a bit. Even the most in-love couples are not going to agree on everything. But you’re willing to compromise with your love because they are just that: your love. Your point of view isn’t the only one, and it’s easier to see with a partner you’re head-over-heels for. While there are certain standards and boundaries that you would never budge on, you’re generally always willing to meet them halfway.
You have to give them an incredible amount of trust. This person will know your darkest secrets and your biggest insecurities. That’s a lot for another person to know. But the trust you have in them will give you a stronger bond — one that is unbreakable. You would put your life in their hands, that’s how certain you are that they always have your best interest at heart.