When you’ve dated a bunch of insecure, emotionally unstable men in the past, finding one who is thoughtful, self-aware, consistent in his actions, and emotionally mature, stable, and intelligent feels like coming up for air. The difference in how they express love and navigate relationships is so clear, it’s remarkable. Here are the things emotionally healthy men do in relationships that prove they’re partners worth having.
1. They’re upfront about their intentions.
Men who are emotionally healthy don’t need to play games, act hot and cold, or do everything in their power to avoid commitment. They’ll let you know where you stand in their lives and what they want out of the relationship instead of leaving you in a constant state of confusion.
2. They don’t hold on to little grudges.
Despite our best intentions, we mess up, say the wrong things, and hurt the people we love sometimes. It’s a natural consequence of being in a relationship. Emotionally healthy men know this, so they won’t hold the things you do or don’t do over your head forever. They won’t keep score or try to get their lick back. They’ll accept that you’re truly sorry for your mistakes and let them go.
3. They self-regulate their moods.
When emotionally healthy men have a tough day at work or times when nothing seems to go their way, they don’t make it your burden to bear. They’re able to sit with their feelings and process them in healthy ways and ask for support if they need it. They don’t resort to screaming, slamming doors, or mistreating you until they feel better. They’ve got emotional regulation down pat.
4. They don’t shy away from self-reflection and growth.
Men who have put in the work to nurture their emotional health are not afraid of confronting the ugly truths about themselves or challenging the beliefs they hold. They understand that change is the only constant in life, so they’re willing to evolve as many times as it takes to reach their true potential and become a better, kinder, more compassionate version of themselves.
5. They honor their values.
Unlike their counterparts, these men don’t pay lip service to their values or only embrace them on special occasions. They live by their values every day. They stand firm in their beliefs, regardless of what anyone has to say about it or how inconvenient it may be at times.
6. They communicate their struggles and feelings.
I’ve heard plenty of men advise other men to avoid opening up or venting to their partners when they’re down, no matter how tempted they might because it’s not manly. An emotionally healthy man knows that his feelings do not take away his masculinity. Rather than swallowing his emotions or running away from difficult conversations, he faces them head on. He opens up his heart and his mouth. He makes a practice out of open and honest communication because he knows that’s where true intimacy lies.
7. They make a conscious effort to address their issues.
When you point out a flaw in their character or criticize how they behaved in a situation, emotionally healthy men won’t hide behind “that’s how I am” and other platitudes to avoid doing better. They’ll take the feedback and work on those behaviors. They’ll go to therapy if they need to. They’ll hold themselves accountable.
8. They admit their mistakes.
With a high dose of self-esteem comes the knowledge that you’re not your mistakes and that doing bad things doesn’t automatically make you a bad person. This is why emotionally healthy men don’t evade taking responsibility for their wrongs. If they’re at fault, they’ll own up to it and apologize easily.
9. They hold space for your emotions.
Emotionally healthy men do not see feelings as some annoying, inconvenient thing that they have to put up with. They’re able to show up for you in difficult times and be a shoulder to cry on or listening ear. They can empathize with whatever you’re going through, validate your feelings, and offer comfort and reassurance.
10. They’re quick with an apology.
You’ll be surprised by how hard it is for a lot of men, and people in general, to say the words “I’m sorry.” Luckily, when you’re dating a man who’s emotionally mature with a strong sense of self, you won’t have to deal with this because he won’t feel that saying sorry takes something away from him. He knows it’s the right thing to do when you do something that affects someone the wrong way, even if that wasn’t your intention.
11. They take the time to think before acting.
One thing emotionally healthy men aren’t going to do is let their moods dictate how they act. They can be mad at you, even rightfully so, and still know that doesn’t give them the right to respond in a way that hurts or harms you. They’re able to sit with their thoughts, process the emotions, and come up with a decision that tactfully addresses the situation.
12. They embrace vulnerability.
Emotionally healthy men regard vulnerability as a strength, rather than a weakness. They don’t believe in masking their feelings as nonchalance or aloofness. They don’t think some things are not for men or expect you to hide certain aspects of yourself to preserve your “innocence” in their eyes. They make the relationship into a safe space where both of you can fully expose yourselves without judgment.
13. They celebrate your success without feeling emasculated.
When good things happen for their partners, emotionally healthy men can share in their joy and show how proud and excited these accomplishments make them. They don’t allow insecurity or envy color their attitude to their partner’s wins. They know that it’s not a competition and that your light doesn’t dim theirs.
14. They don’t discard relationships willy-nilly.
Emotionally healthy men understand that relationships take work and getting hurt by someone you love is almost inescapable. They won’t call it quits after a big fight or the first time you do something they don’t approve of. They’ll deal with their feelings about the situation, forgive, and work to maintain the relationship as long as their heart’s still in it.
15. They respect personal space and boundaries.
When you make your boundaries known, they won’t debate them with you or try to convince you that you’re being unreasonable. Instead, they’ll honor your boundaries because they understand how important they are for emotional safety and healthy relationships. They don’t have to go snooping on your phone or reading your journal to see if you’re cheating or learn some information about you. They trust you to do the right thing, and they’re aware they can always just ask you whatever they want to know.
