What Makes A Man Mysterious? 13 Qualities & Why He’s So Attractive

Is there anything more attractive than a mysterious man? For some reason, the aloofness or withdrawn characteristics tend to pull us in instead of pushing us away. It makes us believe that he’s intriguing and has hidden depths that need to be uncovered. But does he really know some sort of secret about life that we don’t, or is he just in a weird mood? Here are some more logical explanations for why a man seems so mysterious, as well as some reasons this type is so alluring.

  1. He’s shy. Shy people don’t have to be awkward, bumbling messes; they can also be the more quiet, withdrawn type. He’s likely not hiding anything, he’s just not much of a talker. Because he’s not a man who enjoys flapping his gums 24/7, he automatically seems much more mysterious. You get to wonder what he’s not saying rather than what is.
  2. He’s an observer. Maybe he just likes to spend some time watching the world around him so he can figure out what’s going on and make judgments before moving forward. That’s not so strange, is it? He isn’t so much a mysterious man as much as an observant one.
  3. He has a secret. Sometimes people have some pretty big skeletons in their closets that they’re not keen on sharing with anyone. Because he seems like he has something to hide, he’s naturally going to seem like a much more mysterious man than he really is. If you do happen to find out the truth, like that he spent time in jail or has cheated on all of his girlfriends, that “mystery” suddenly makes way more sense.
  4. He’s careful with his words. A man seems way more mysterious when he listens more than he speaks because again, everyone wants to know what he’s thinking. It could be that he doesn’t want to say something he doesn’t mean, or it takes him extra time to get the right words to express himself.
  5. He’s quietly confident. Some people don’t need to be dancing on tables to gain all the attention they could ever want, so they don’t act out or do anything outlandish. A man who has an aura of mystery surrounding him likely also has an air of confidence that falls just short of cockiness.
  6. He’s not dependable. He may seem mysterious when he’s busy a lot or doesn’t show up to prior made plans, but it’s not because he’s secretly fighting crime by night — sometimes the man is just antisocial and kind of a jerk when it comes to keeping plans.
  7. He’s incredibly intelligent. Not all mysterious people are smart, but a lot of intelligent people come off as mysterious because they’re in their heads so much. If he seems well-versed in a particular subject or many different ones and always has an opinion on the big political issues of the day, you might wonder how the hell he got so smart. If you’re a sapiosexual, this is doubly attractive.
  8. He’s in control. Sometimes this is to a fault because he doesn’t like other people in his life to be chaotic either. Sometimes mysterious people are total control freaks just trying to keep things together. The fact that this reads as being mysterious is a blessing because inside, this man is probably a bit of a basketcase.
  9. He’s quirky. Some guys are mysterious because their responses or actions to normal things are totally different than average, which sometimes just spells straight-up quirkiness. When you meet someone who’s a bit off the wall and a little out there, it’s intriguing and you can’t help but drawn to them.
  10. He’s suffering from depression. Occasionally, what we read as mysterious is actually masking something deeper like sadness. He could seem more withdrawn because he’s unhappy or unable to communicate his feelings of poor mental and emotional health. Of course, you shouldn’t automatically assume this is the case when meeting a mysterious man, but it is worth considering.
  11. He’s socially awkward. Does he come off as mysterious because he answers questions in succinct ways that make you want to know more? That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s harboring anything juicy, he just doesn’t know what to say when he’s caught off guard.
  12. He’s not flaunting his sexuality. Make no mistake, a mysterious man is generally sexy, but it isn’t always because he’s putting it on display and offering it up — it’s because he’s confident in his sexuality and knows that he’s appealing no matter what he does.
  13. He’s just being real. Sometimes authenticity comes off as mysterious because it’s totally unexpected in a world where so many people are constantly trying to shape their images to best suit their goals. Just go with it.

Why a mysterious man is so attractive

  1. We love the chase just as much as men do. We always hear how much men like the chase, but women aren’t entirely immune to the idea. When we meet a mysterious man, we know right away that he’s going to be naturally hard to get and we want to work to get him (so we can get him, if you know what I mean). Our patience for this might run thin if we’re not getting anywhere, but for a while, it works just fine.
  2. We like puzzles we can solve. The other thing about a mysterious man is that there’s so much that’s left unsaid. There’s a lot we don’t know about him but we want to know everything. As women, we’re naturally deep thinkers, so we like to try and figure out what makes him tick and who he is deep down. If we’re lucky, we might get to find out first-hand.
  3. We get to indulge in a bit of fantasy. This is the other benefit of meeting a mysterious guy. Because there’s so little we know about him, we can fantasize about him without reality creeping in. He can be anything we want him to be in our heads. Of course, if we do end up dating him, we’ll have to adjust that a bit…
  4. We love a guy with confidence. A mysterious man doesn’t feel the need to prove himself to anyone or to appear a particular way. He’s secure enough in himself that he doesn’t need to put on a false persona or pretend to be something or someone he’s not. What you see is what you get, and if you’re not into it, he’s cool with that.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com