What’s A Sex Selfie And Would You Take One?

Sex selfies are fun and safe, right? Don’t kid yourself. Whenever you take a naked pic of yourself with your phone, there can be some pretty ugly consequences. Here’s what you need to know about sex selfies before you whip out your phone and take one.

  1. They’re a way to spice things up, I guess, and they’re super common. Sure, sex selfies can make the act of sex so much hotter. They give you a chance to be seen and watch yourself in action. Plus, the idea of being photographed or recorded while you’re having sex can be hot, especially if you’ve never done it before. A study by AshleyMadison.com (the website for married people who want to have affairs) found that 49% of women in the US have taken sex selfies.
  2. They’re not completely under your control. It can feel hot and naughty to take pics or videos during sex, but it’s better not to. You never know what can happen to those images. Seriously, can you trust your partner? How well do you really know him? Even if you’re in a long-term relationship with him and you feel you can trust him, you never know what he’d do if you guys had to break up. People change during breakups! Revenge is a thing and he might use sex selfies to take his revenge on you. Yikes.
  3. Deleting them isn’t always enough. You might make it a rule to delete pics and vids as soon as you’re done, but you can’t be sure that deleting them from the phone means they’ve disappeared. Your phone might have an extra storage folder where deleted items go.
  4. They could get automatically uploaded somewhere. There’s also the danger that your sex selfies end up on the net or in some backup storage, thanks to automatic photo upload apps. You might’ve deleted this function on your Android or iOS device, but how do you know your partner has? Ugh, he might not even know that his phone’s doing this.
  5. You might accidentally share them. You know how easily mistakes can happen. One minute you’re looking at a sexy selfie in your photo folder, the next you’re sharing it with Facebook. Or, your niece asks to see your phone and scrolls through your photo album.
  6. Your phone could get stolen. You might think that a criminal isn’t going to go through your photo folder and share your raunchy images, but how do you know? Those images could end up on a porn site you don’t even know about.
  7. Your partner might want to share them on purpose. Then, there are those partners who say, “Baby, wouldn’t it be awesome to have a sexy selfie that we can share with our followers on social media?” No, not sex vids or pics, but raunchy pics of the two of you kissing passionately or wearing as little as possible while you hug each other. You’ve seen these on your feed and they’re awkward. Even if you’re not sharing sex pics exactly, people don’t need to see all this TMI!
  8. They can dent your self-confidence. Who really feels they look good in pics? Hardly anyone ever. So when you look through the sex selfies or vids after you’ve had sex, you might ask out loud, “Do I really look like that?” The lighting was wrong, the camera flash made you look like a ghost, and the angle was really bad. Ugh. It’s just not worth it to feel self-conscious.
  9. They kill your intimacy. Maybe it’s not that you want to look at the sex selfies afterward. Maybe it’s just the feeling while you’re taking them during sex that you love. But you might actually be killing the fun of your actual sex experience. Hear me out. You’re so busy trying to look hot AF or hold the phone at the right angle to take sex selfies that you’re not really concentrating on the sexual experience. You’re so aware that you’re being filmed or photographed that you’re not thinking about connecting with your partner. It’s all about your phone. Talk about slashing the mood.
  10. Say no to “after sex selfies” too, okay? It’s not just sex selfies that have become trendy. Now there are also “after sex” selfies which are basically when you take a picture of yourself after having sex and share it on social media. WTF? Whether you and your partner look romantic and cozy or you look stressed out after a one-night stand that resulted in bad sex, these are just as nasty, if not worse, than sex selfies. When did sex become public property, FFS? Is nothing sacred anymore?
  11. Couple selfies could actually be bad for your relationship. A study by American and Canadian universities found that when people felt insecure about their relationship and their partner’s feelings, they tended to make their relationship more visible to others. That’s why couple selfies are seen in such a negative light. Sex selfies are one kind of couple selfie, and even though you’re not sharing them with the world (hopefully), they might hint at insecurity. They’re not boosting your sexual enjoyment. They’re actually just distracting both of you from what’s really going on in the bedroom! Ugh. Leave your phone at the door.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.