You meet someone and it’s like an explosion right before your eyes. Your connection is immediate, intense, and nearly all-consuming. It doesn’t take you long to believe that you’ve met your soulmate, but even that word doesn’t seem enough. Could they be your twin flame? And what’s the difference between a soulmate and a twin flame, anyway? Read on to find out.
What is the difference between a soulmate and a twin flame?
While twin flames and soulmates share many of the same qualities, they aren’t the same thing. In essence, soulmate is a broader term for someone with whom you share a deep connection, and you can have more than one soulmate in your lifetime. However, due to the intense nature of the connection, you can only have one twin flame.
“A twin flame is like your soul’s mirror. They may be the exact same as you in some ways, and yet also the opposite. You will feel an immediate pull toward them, and that pull will probably feel something like love. You might trigger each other and push each other’s buttons,” explains Suzannah Weiss, relationship coach and resident sexologist at Biird.
“Conversely, your soulmates can be friends, family members, and even pets as well as romantic partners. A soulmate relationship is generally calmer, easier, and less tumultuous than a twin flame relationship. You feel a deep connection and a sense of harmony with this person. They may not be as similar to you on the soul level as a twin flame, but they do feel close to you spiritually.”
So, what is the difference between a soulmate and a twin flame? Soulmates are two souls that are drawn together, whereas twin flames tend to be one-half of the same soul that was ripped apart and desperately seeking to be reunited.
Is one of these connections more common than the other?
Because you can have many of them in your life and soulmates can be platonic or romantic it’s more common to find your soulmate than your twin flame. Your soulmate can be a friend, colleague, family member, or a romantic partner. However, your twin flame is said to be a one-of-a-kind connection that cannot be replicated or replaced. It’s believed that we only have one twin flame, making it unlikely that most of us will encounter ours in our lifetimes. Soulmates, on the other hand, are much easier to find.
Which is better: a twin flame or a soulmate?
This question truly has no answer. While there’s a big difference between a twin flame and a soulmate and these relationships manifest in very different ways, that doesn’t make one preferable or “better” than the other. Both connections can be draining, unhealthy, or even toxic in the wrong circumstances and between the wrong people.
That being said, many people make excuses for bad behavior with a twin flame. They believe that since they’re two parts of the same soul, they must stay together at all costs. On occasion, that can mean accepting completely unacceptable treatment and behavior from the other person, which Weiss warns against.
“Just because someone is your twin flame doesn’t mean they can get away with behavior others wouldn’t. Just because someone is your twin flame doesn’t mean you two have the foundation for a healthy relationship. It also doesn’t mean you can’t live without this person or that you need to be in a relationship at all,” she explains.
“Some people end up in relationships with soul mates and some end up in relationships with their twin flames. And some even date both at the same time! Neither situation is better than the other; it simply depends on what works for each individual and what allows them to have the healthiest relationships they can have.”
Which one is more sustainable?
You can have long, healthy, happy relationships — platonically, romantically, and even professionally — with a soulmate as well as a twin flame. It’s ultimately about establishing boundaries and expectations that preserve your self-worth and assure you’re giving and receiving respect, consideration, and care.
“In terms of sustainability, both soulmate connections and twin flame connections can be enduring and fulfilling, but it is important to note that any relationship requires effort and work to maintain,” says sex and relationship expert Niki Davis-Fainbloom of Practical Psychology. “While a strong connection with another person can provide a foundation for a lasting relationship, it is ultimately up to the individuals involved to cultivate and nurture that connection over time.”
That being said, it’s important to note that neither relationship type is necessarily permanent. No matter how much you nurture them, both soulmates and twin flames may not stick around forever. In the case of a twin flame, it’s possible that the fire between you becomes too strong to bear and it’s healthier for you to part again after a temporary reunion. Similarly, soulmates can help us fulfill our higher purposes and learn more about ourselves before ultimately going their own way. This is completely natural and even healthy. Embrace it.