Why A Guy Rejects You Even Though He Likes You And What You Can Do About It

In theory, it should be easy. He likes you, he asks you out, and the two of you are happy campers together. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out like this in practice. He might say he likes you, and maybe you even feel you can trust him on that, but he rejects you or makes you feel like he’s shut you out. WTF? It’s enough to make your head spin because it doesn’t make sense. Fear not, there are reasons for this weird behavior. Let’s check them out and see how to deal with what feels like a classic “I like you but…” excuse.

  1. He doesn’t like you enough. This is a common reason why a guy rejects you even if he does like you. He’s just not THAT super interested in making you his girlfriend. He likes you enough to casually date and have sex but not enough to bring you home to meet his mother. Pay attention to how he treats you and where he takes you for dates. If he’s always keen to stay home in bed, and never takes you out on real dates, that’s a good sign he’s not going to be enough for you.
  2. His heart is taken. He met you and felt the sparks, but there’s a big problem that he might not have even told you about: he’s already committed to another woman. Yikes. The best thing to do if you suspect that he belongs to someone else is to back off as soon as you catch wind of the situation. There’s never a good reason to get tangled up in that situation or become the bad guy. This is a situation in which being turned down isn’t such a bad thing.
  3. He’s going through something. You know it’s never a good excuse for a guy to say he’s stressed and that’s why he doesn’t want to date anyone seriously, but it can happen. The problem is that he might not be open with you about what’s going on with him, which makes things more complicated than they need to be. If you feel close enough to ask him about it, encourage him to open up a bit. It will make you see that bad timing could be why things aren’t going to happen, but it could also be a sign that your destiny is elsewhere. Life won’t stop just because this guy rejects you. His loss!
  4. He flipped his mind. Things were going great. He thought you were girlfriend material and you were going to make an amazing power couple, but then he changed his mind. Ouch. He realized that you’re not as compatible as he thought you were, or perhaps something small put him off. It might even be something ridiculous, like how he doesn’t like your ankle tattoo. Ugh, if he’s going to be like that, then it’s best to move on. He wasn’t right for you. No hard feelings.
  5. He just isn’t sure. If you want to try speak to the guy to find out what happened and to get closure, you might be dished with the reason that he’s confused. Whatever. If he is really confused, then you’ll know by the mixed messages you get and how he doesn’t seem able to commit to anything. The best thing to do is take your attention elsewhere so you don’t get caught up in his confusion.
  6. He wants to be casual with many women. He might love the way things are. He gets to date you casually without any strings, and he can do the same thing with a ton of other women. If you’re fine with this setup and you know he’s not your forever guy, enjoy it while it lasts. If not, then you’re clearly out of sync and waiting for him to change will only lead to disappointment.
  7. He lied about it. Of course, there’s always the chance that he’s not been genuine about liking you. Sure, he tells you how much he digs you and loves hanging out, but he isn’t all that keen. You can tell by how he doesn’t pay you enough attention or make you a priority in his life. You’re not going to be his number one. You’re just going to be a convenience. When a guy rejects you, does it really matter that he likes you if he’s telling you he doesn’t want to be with you?
  8. He’s a snail-pace dater. He might be moving at a different speed to you. Maybe you want to move a bit faster but he’s keen to take things slow. This isn’t a rejection; it’s just a bit of a pause to suss things out better and see where you’re both at. The best thing to do is communicate with him about where you stand and what you both want. If he’s open to that, of course. If not and he rejects you without wanting to work on things, you have your answer. He’s not worth it.
  9. He’s rebounding hard. Maybe you were the rebound girl. He got out of a relationship, jumped into dating you, and made you believe he was keen on you. Meanwhile, now that the lust hormones have settled, the guy’s backtracking. He should know you’re worth more than a rebound!
  10. He’s not a good boyfriend. And he probably knows it. That’s why he’s pulling away from you. Maybe he has commitment issues or he’s still tied up in feelings for his ex who broke his heart. Whatever the case, he shouldn’t make his issues yours. You’ve got your own stuff to deal with and you don’t need the drama. See what’s happened as a blessing in disguise. Maybe you thought he was great BF material, but you were mistaken. You’ve saved yourself the heartache.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.