Why Do Good Girls Like Bad Boys?

When you ask most (straight) women what they’re looking for in a guy, most would say they want one who’s caring, attentive, supportive, loyal, and willing to commit. In other words, the complete opposite of a bad boy. That’s why it’s so weird that so many of us are drawn to dudes who don’t usually make good boyfriends. So, why are good girls drawn to bad boys? Here’s the deal.

What makes a guy a “bad boy”?

While people define “bad boy” in different ways, but generally speaking, guys who earn the label tend to have a few qualities in common.

  1. They’re fiercely independent. Of course, this can quickly translate into toxic laziness and lack of motivation. They don’t want to be tied down in any way, even to steady employment, in some cases. However, the free-spirited, individualistic spirit bad boys display is like a magnet for good girls.
  2. They’re rebellious. They like breaking the rules and pushing the envelope. When someone draws a line, they love nothing more than crossing it. Of course, it’s not fun when it’s your boundaries they’re disregarding, but that’s a whole different issue.
  3. They refuse to conform to societal norms. There’s nothing that gets a good girl going quite like bad boys who march to the beat of their own drum. They’re not afraid of or concerned with what anyone thinks of them, and that’s pretty hot.
  4. They’re a bit mysterious. You feel like every time you learn something new about them, there are a dozen more elements to their life or personality that you know nothing about. There’s always something hidden under the surface and we’d be happy to spend our lives digging to find out what it is.
  5. They’re ridiculously confident. Because they’re so self-assured, bad boys have a ton of self-confidence. They don’t doubt themselves or their decisions. They know they have a lot to offer the world and a romantic partner (if they so choose), and they never let themselves or anyone else forget it.
  6. They’re impulsive. They’re not about getting stuck in a routine. Instead, you can always count on bad boys to fly by the seat of their pants. They’re spontaneous and are the type to ask you on a Friday morning if you want to fly to Paris for the weekend that afternoon. That’s exciting!
  7. They’re funny and charming. Bad boys have personality to spare, and good girls like that. They’re not just fun to be around, they’re magnetic and charming to an unrivaled degree. As a result, we’re powerless to resist.
  8. They’re hyper-masculine. Bad boys tend to be pretty macho, and this can be attractive… to a degree. It can at times result in aggressiveness and even violence, so it’s important to be careful.

Why do good girls like bad boys?

  1. If they’re bad, we can be too. This is really the key. Good girls often feel pressure to be, well, good. When we’re with a bad boy, a lot of that pressure is alleviated. It’s like being with them makes us feel like we can (and should!) break the rules sometimes too. There’s something fun about being a bit naughty sometimes, don’t you think?
  2. They’re a bit off-limits, which only makes them more desirable. Most women know that bad boys are trouble and that we’re better off staying away from them. However, forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest (or whatever the saying is). The fact that we know we shouldn’t is exactly why we do. It’s just human nature!
  3. They keep things interesting. You can never really settle down or get too comfortable with a bad boy. They tend to be a bit all over the place, which means they’ll definitely keep you on your toes. If nothing else, we can never say we’ll get bored, that’s for sure.
  4. Biologically speaking, they’re better partners. Evolutionary biology says that women who are ovulating are more attracted to guys with biologically attractive qualities. Those just so happen to be qualities bad boys have. In theory, they’re better to mate with. While we’re not necessarily thinking about kids when we date them, it’s there in our subconscious!
  5. They give us something to “fix.” This is always disastrous, of course, but it’s a major reason good girls like bad boys. We think we can change them. We can be the ones to tame them and turn them into the perfect partner. That never happens, of course, but we never stop trying.
  6. They tend to have a sense of adventure, which can be freeing. Because they’re so spontaneous and impulsive, they’ll always be up for a fun adventure. Whether that’s going skydiving or climbing a mountain, they’re natural thrill-seekers and they’ll turn you into one too.
  7. They offer a sense of security, however false. There’s a strange mechanism in our brains that make us feel like bad boys can protect us. Even if not with their physical strength, their masculinity can be a shield for them to keep us safe from harm. We don’t need that, of course, but it’s nice to have.
  8. We think good guys are boring. We’re wrong! We’re SO wrong. And yet we still trick ourselves into believing that it’s true. For all the excitement and adventure bad guys bring to our lives, a little stability is probably what’s better for us.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia