You’re mindlessly swiping through Tinder while half-watching “Wednesday” on Netflix when you come across a profile that intrigues you. It’s a cute guy who you appear to have a lot in common with, and when you shoot him a message, he replies right away. You hit it off and start chatting, and then he types those dreaded words: “Send me a pic.” Ugh, dude, no. Why do guys always ask for pictures? It’s super annoying and way too common. Didn’t he just see one, anyway?
Why do guys ask for pictures when texting?
You feel like you should focus on the conversation right now, but bro on the other end of your convo is wanting your selfies. What’s his deal?
- He thinks you’re hot. This is pretty obvious, but it still warrants saying. Guys ask for pictures when they’re physically attracted to a woman. They like what they’ve seen so far and they want to see more. Maybe he thinks asking you to send him a pic is his way of letting you know that he thinks you’re a total snack. In other words, he means it as a compliment even if that’s not how you take it.
- He wants to show them to his friends. Guys are visual creatures. They also love trophies. This means when they find a hot girl and think they’ve bagged her, they want to show her off to their friends. Again, this is a compliment of sorts. Yes, most women would prefer the relationship be between us and the guy, we’re also guilty of showing our BFFs his pic sometimes. Go ahead and indulge him. It’s kinda sweet.
- He wants to be able to see you whenever he wants. If he’s a legitimate guy who really likes you and is interested in a relationship, his reason for requesting more photos could be genuine. This is especially true if you’re far away from each other and hanging out in person can’t happen often. By having pics of you on his phone, he can pull them up and see you whenever he wants, no matter the distance between you.
- He really likes you. There’s a difference between thinking you’re hot and genuinely liking you. Guys sometimes ask for pictures when they have a legitimate crush. They’re a bit moony over you and want to kinda stare at your pics and fantasize about dating you, yada yada. Yes, contrary to popular belief, guys do this too.
- He wants to jerk off to it. Welp, it had to be said. This is very likely to be the case if you guys have had sexual conversations or even hinted at the possibility of being intimate. To be fair, it could even be the case if you’ve never been sexual with him at all. Dudes are pervs. It happens.
- He misses you. If you’ve gone on a date before but your schedules have been hectic lately and you haven’t had a chance to meet up again yet, this is a possibility. It could be that he just wants to see pics of what you’re doing. Where are you going, what are you up to? He wants to feel like he’s a part of your life.
- He wants to make sure you match your profile pics. Catfishing is an issue, and some people present versions of themselves on dating apps that don’t reflect reality. Guys sometimes ask for pics before you meet up so there are no surprises down the line.
- He’s hoping for a sexting session. By “pics” he means sexy pics, potentially nudes. He’s hoping by testing the water, you might be up for some sexting. And hey, maybe you are. In that case, go for it. Otherwise, let him know in no uncertain terms that it’s not happening.
- He wants you to ask for his picture too. He’s keen to send you pics but doesn’t want to do so unprovoked. So, he’s hoping that by asking you for pics, you’ll ask the same of him. (And no, we don’t always mean intimate pics.) It’s actually kinda cute.
- He’s stalking you. This is an extreme scenario and not the norm. However, it’s still worth mentioning. If you notice this alongside any other troubling signs, you may need to block and delete him, as well as contact the relevant authorities.
Things to consider before sending him photos of yourself
- You don’t know who’s going to see them. It’s fine if he wants to show a few of your cute selfies to friends, but if you’re considering sending nudes, you have to worry about who else might lay eyes on them. Before you start snapping away, think long and hard about if you can handle any possible repercussions.
- You can’t be sure you can trust him. Depending on how early it is in your relationship, even the most innocuous photos can still be risky. Who knows what this guy’s like and what he’ll do with them?
- What will he do with them if you stop talking? Even if you can trust him now to keep your photos between the two of you, you have to think ahead. What happens if things don’t end well with you? What if you break up with him or decide you’re not into him? He’ll still have your photos. And he may well have a reason (in his own mind) to seek revenge.
- Are you comfortable with sending photos or do you feel pressured? If you want to send photos of any kind and you’re doing it of your own free will, live your best life. However, if he’s pressuring you or making you feel like there will be negative repercussions if you don’t, that’s a serious problem.
It goes without saying that just because guys love to ask for pictures doesn’t mean you have to send them. You’re in control of your own life. If you feel like his request is genuine and you want to exchange photos, do so. If, however, you feel uncomfortable or forced, tell him no. It’s really that simple.