Why Do So Many Guys Hate Going Down On Women? Here’s The Scoop

If you’re a straight woman, chances are you’ve slept with your fair share of men who hated (or outright refused to perform) oral sex. Men who love going down on women are pretty few and far between. However, given their love of shoving our heads down towards their crotches for a blowjob at every available opportunity, it seems a bit baffling, so what gives? Why do so many guys hate eating women out? Allow the men of Reddit to share their reasons.

A lot of guys really seem to hate going down on women

It’s not an unfair stereotype or a myth — a lot of men really dislike giving oral. Not only do women give head more often than men (59% of women compared to 52% of men), but men are nearly twice as likely to say they really f**king hate it. While 52% of women actually enjoying pleasing their partners via oral sex, only 28% of guys feel the same, SexualAlpha reveals. Yeesh.

It’s a shame, really. A whopping 61.1% of women said that they find oral sex just as pleasurable as penetrative vaginal sex, which means most of us would love it if our partners went down there more often. Sadly, that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. But if women are all about upping our BJ game and pleasing our male partners in this way, why aren’t they doing the same for us? Here’s what some of them had to say.

Guys explain why they hate giving women oral sex

  1. The taste is less than stellar. “It tastes gross, don’t like all the fluids in my mouth, if she’s not fully shaved I hate getting hair in my mouth, etc.,” explained conker1264. “It’s honestly my least favorite sexual activity but I don’t expect a girl to give me oral unless she wants to as it’s only fair.”
  2. Ouch, the jaw pain! “It irritates my TMJ. It causes my jaw to pop like crazy,” said Quackmandan1.
  3. The ol’ “sensitive tongue” can’t handle it. “It’s not that I don’t like it, per se, but I do have a sensitive tongue, and sometimes the taste is just too much,” admitted Daiki_Iranos.
  4. They don’t like being eaten back. “I just get freaked out when the p*ssy suddenly licks back,” joked platypottamus.
  5. They prefer tasting the other hole. “I’ve only been with one woman and I just didn’t like the taste. Funnily enough, I enjoyed eating her ass,” revealed bootyhunter69420.
  6. Their partners aren’t into it. “I love it but my wife is too shy about it. I don’t like to pressure her into something she isn’t comfortable doing,” said SemiAutomnemonicIful.
  7. It takes too much effort to get good at it. “In my experience, as one with a vulva, a lot of men don’t know how, and/or think it’s a “one move fits all” approach, and get annoyed/insecure/frustrated if their effort doesn’t pop her off immediately,” posited scatteredloops. “Instead of talking to her and asking what she likes, or trying something else, they avoid it.”
  8. They’re self-conscious about their lack of skill. “I will say I never disliked eating p*ssy but in my younger years, I wasn’t good at it and was self-conscious about it,” admitted PMME_UR_LADYPARTSPLZ. “Then one time I made my wife orgasm from oral and now I can’t get enough. I guess it’s possible some guys are like me.”
  9. Vomiting on a woman’s vagina isn’t a good look. “Bad gag reflect. Just sticking my tongue out of my mouth for a short period of time causes me to gag,” said ImParticleMan. “I don’t want to make her uncomfortable or think it’s her.”
  10. It’s just not very fun. “It’s not the most fun thing to do,” said kingofnothinatall. “Generally, I’ll only do it if I can’t make her cum the old-fashioned way. I’m also an ’emotionally damaged top,’ so I put enough effort into the experience.”
  11. It’s a bit too metallic for some guys. “It’s like sucking on an old penny. Gross,” said nucleararsehole.
  12. The hair (or lack thereof) causes issues. “If she has trimmed recently, the stubble hurts, potentially a lot,” shares YouJustSaidButF*ck. “If she hasn’t trimmed recently, hair up the nose and my nose is very sensitive. It makes the process extremely uncomfortable.” He added: “You know what’s grosser than p*ssy juice and saliva-soaked beard? Very few things.”

It’s hard to know how to feel about this

On the one hand, no one should ever feel pressured to perform a sexual act that they don’t enjoy and that makes them uncomfortable. On the other hand, this often feels like an excuse from men who are more than happy to do any number of other things to women’s bodies except for the things that are all about our pleasure. Their feelings are valid and most women I know would never want a guy who go down on them because he felt forced or simply because he wanted a blowjob in return. Nevertheless, something needs to change here. What that is, who knows?

Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia