40 BJ Tips To Make A Guy Lose His Mind

If you’re a woman who likes having sex with men, it’s a safe bet that you’ll end up going down on them from time to time. You may have done it enough that you feel pretty secure in your skills, but you know what they say — there’s always room for improvement. If you want to be the master of giving head, here are some of the best BJ tips to keep in your arsenal. You’ll have guys coming back for more every single time.

Why do men love BJs so much?

While men enjoy receiving oral sex for a variety of reasons, there are a few things most guys have in common.

  1. It feels good. It’s as simple as that. Think of how good his mouth feels on you when he goes down on you. It feels incredible (when done well, of course), so why wouldn’t he like you?
  2. It makes them feel powerful. Seeing you kneel at their feet as they look down on you makes many men feel very masculine, powerful, and in control. You appear more submissive in this position, which makes them the ones in charge (at least in their heads).
  3. They like being praised. Giving a guy a BJ is a way of lavishing praise on his penis, which is probably the part of his body he values most. At the very least, it’s at the top of the list. In a way, it’s the ultimate compliment.
  4. It shows you’re comfortable being vulnerable with them. Guys know that putting their junk in your mouth isn’t something women tend to do with abandon. It requires us to let our guard down and make ourselves vulnerable in a way, which is flattering to them.

How to get a guy in the mood for the experience

Not that most men will need to be buttered up much to be ready for you to go down on them. However, it never hurts to set the mood and transition things smoothly. If anything, it’ll just make you seem like that much more of a sex goddess.

  1. Send him nudes. Guys will never turn down nudes. Obviously, there are some rules for sending nudes you should always follow to protect yourself. However, if you feel comfortable snapping pictures of key parts of your body, these can be an excellent precursor to a BJ (and more).
  2. Try a bit of sexting. In addition to the nudes, you could try some text-based dirty talk to make him want you desperately. By the time he gets home from work or you get to his place, he’ll basically be begging you to go down on him already.
  3. Give him a hand massage. We don’t mean using your hands on his penis — that’s a handjob. We’re actually talking about using your hands to massage his. If you get the right rhythm going and do it slowly and sensually, he’ll probably end up thinking about you massaging something else with your tongue, if you feel us.
  4. Play the vixen. You might feel silly trying to be sexy, but sometimes it’s fun — and sex should definitely be fun. What makes you feel hot as hell? Whatever it is, do it/wear it/say it. Get him excited for what’s to come and he’ll be putty in your hands (or hard in your mouth).

Tips for giving the best BJ possible

woman teasing man in bed

provided by iStock

  1. Start slow. You don’t need to (and really shouldn’t) go in at top speed trying to get him off and get done. Take your time. The longer you can draw it out, the better for him.
  2. Incorporate some foreplay. This is one of the best BJ tips you’ll ever get. Just like you want to start slow, you want to use that time to your advantage. Foreplay isn’t just for women. Make it an experience for him, too.
  3. Ask him what he likes. You might think you know, but there’s always a chance you’re missing something or doing something he’s not all that keen on. The best way to find out is to ask.
  4. Use your hands and your mouth. BJs aren’t all about what your mouth can do. Your hands can be a big help in giving him maximum pleasure. Run them up and down the length of his penis, use them to cup and gently squeeze his balls, etc. He’ll go nuts for it.
  5. Avoid using your teeth. This should go without saying, but it seems a necessary addition to any “best BJ tips” list. For goodness’ sake, don’t use your teeth on his penis.
  6. Give his penis some compliments as well. Guys love hearing how much you appreciate and worship their manhood. Be vocal about this while you’re going down on him to take him to new heights of ecstasy.
  7. Don’t be afraid of dirty talk. The freakiest, nastiest stuff in your head will probably get him off big time. In between licking, touching, and sucking him, give voice to what’s in your head.
  8. Don’t forget the pillow. What place does a pillow have in a BJ, you ask? It’s for under your knees. Even the plushest carpet can be uncomfortable if you’re down there for a while, so do yourself a favor.
  9. Use your angles. Don’t just stick his penis straight into your mouth and to the back of your throat. Instead, move it around so that it’s hitting different angles in your mouth (and therefore creating different sensations on different areas of his shaft).
  10. Grab some lube. Unlike women, men don’t automatically get wet down there. Lube can come in handy when you’re trying to get things nice and glide-y down there. And if you don’t have any in the house, there are plenty of lube alternatives you might consider.
  11. Don’t forget his balls. A BJ isn’t all about the penis. You have to involve his balls in the action. If you’ve never tried teabagging, give that a shot. Hey, you’re already down there, so you might as well. In between that, when you’re concentrating on his penis, use your palms to gently massage his testicles. He’ll lose it.
  12. Pretend you’re him, masturbating. This is perhaps one of the most unconventional BJ tips but can really influence your technique. Imagine how he pleasures himself when he’s masturbating, then try to replicate it yourself. What he does when jerking off is obviously what he likes, so give him more of the same.
  13. Don’t feel pressure to deep throat. Look, some people have an intense gag reflex and the last thing you want to do is throw up all over his penis. If deep-throating isn’t for you, don’t feel pressured to pretend you’re some kind of pornstar. If he doesn’t like it, he can get head somewhere else.
  14. Think beyond the kneel. Getting on your hands and knees between his legs is the classic BJ position, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it that way. Maybe you’re both down to 69. Or, maybe he lays on the bed while you straddle his abdomen. Maybe you sit to his side and lean down (much like you would if giving him a BJ in a car). Get creative!
  15. Try edging. Suck him off until he gets very close to coming, then back off a minute. Do this a few different times so when you do finally give in and let him come, it’s even more intense.
  16. Get yourself off too. Just because a BJ is about making him feel good doesn’t mean you can’t get in on the fun. If you can swing it, touch yourself sometimes too, whether by massaging and squeezing your own nipples or rubbing your clitoris every now and then. He’ll likely feel even more turned on watching you get turned on.
  17. Use some spit. If you don’t have lube handy but things aren’t sliding as much as you’d like, spit on his penis. Chances are, this will serve two purposes: making things wetter and turning him on because it’s so naughty.
  18. Don’t suck nonstop. Again, BJs aren’t all about sucking. You can blow gently, lick, kiss, and a million other things when your mouth is on him. Don’t just suck like a vacuum cleaner or it’s not going to go very well.
  19. If he’s cool with it, stimulate his prostate. We wouldn’t recommend simply sticking a finger up a guy’s ass without his permission. However, if he’s cool with it, stimulating his prostate while you’re giving him a blow job will make his eventual orgasm even more intense.
  20. Think about including toys. Vibrators aren’t just for women. Just sayin’.  Holding one against his testicles while you suck his penis can really amplify the experience.

More BJ tips to get him off

couple sharing intimate moment in bed

provided by iStock

  1. Be the one to initiate sometimes. There’s no greater turn-on than someone being so into you that they initiate intimacy rather than you having to ask. Go down on him without him moving your head in that direction.
  2. Don’t be discouraged if he’s not very vocal. Some guys just aren’t. Just because he’s not saying your name or telling you how good it feels doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Instead, pay attention to how his body is reacting. If his muscles are twitching and his penis is responsive to what you’re doing, you’re on the right track.
  3. Make eye contact. This is another one of those BJ tips that’s basic but incredibly effective. Look him straight in the eyes while you take him into your mouth and see what kind of reaction that gets you. (Spoiler alert: it’ll be a good one.)
  4. His perineum needs love too. We’ve already covered his prostate and his testicles, but his perineum, that bit of skin between his balls and his anus, is a pleasure dome not to be ignored. Touching this area basically stimulates his prostate from outside of his body, which can actually lead to a perineum orgasm.
  5. Develop a rhythm. Don’t just go at it haphazardly. Get into a flow. Switch between different actions and positions and go about things methodically so it doesn’t feel all over the place. That can be incredibly distracting.
  6. Remember to breathe. Whatever you do, don’t hold your breath while giving a BJ. You’ll end up hyperventilating or choking or worse. Breathe between motions. You can even use that breath to exhale against the wet skin on his penis for added effect.
  7. Don’t make your tongue too rigid. It should be soft and pliant, not rigid and darty. The only thing hard should be his penis.
  8. Pretend you’re licking an ice cream cone. If you’re more on the novice side when it comes to giving a BJ, this is one of the best tips to keep in mind. Visualizing yourself licking a melting ice cream cone will help guide your mouth in all the right ways.
  9. Consider getting naked. Sure, you can give a BJ fully clothed, but even getting your breasts out gives him more to look at while you’re going down on him. You can even take a minute or two to place his penis between your breasts.
  10. Tell him how much you love sucking him off. Sure, he’ll probably come whether or not you like what you’re doing. However, hearing the feedback that you love giving him a BJ will make the experience even better for him.
  11. Lick your palms if you need some moistness. You’ve got lube, you’ve got spit, but if you still need a bit of extra help as things dry up down there, feel free to lick your palms before you run them along his shaft.
  12. Act like you’re enjoying yourself. In addition to telling him how much you like going down on him, make sure your facial expression and your body language convey the same message. It’ll be hard for him to finish or really get the most out of the experience if he thinks the whole thing is tantamount to torture to you.
  13. Use your hands to control how deep he goes. Don’t let him just shove his penis down your throat. (Remember that gag reflex we mentioned above?) Instead, wrap your palm around the shaft of his penis so you can guide him in and out of your mouth yourself.
  14. Don’t swallow if you don’t want to. Again, maybe you’re into swallowing a guy’s spunk and find that to be a great part of the experience. Go for it! However, if you’re not into it, don’t do it. That’s not a prerequisite to an amazing BJ, regardless of what the guy might say.
  15. Use your tongue to its full potential. You know you need to use tongue during a BJ, but really use it to its full potential. Run it around the tip of his penis, flick it along his balls or his perineum, etc. You know from your own experiences with oral how good a well-used tongue can feel.
  16. Don’t expect him to come immediately. You might worry that you’re not doing a great job if he isn’t coming in .2 seconds flat, but that’s ridiculous. In fact, it’s probably a sign that you’re doing something right. You’re figuring out how to tease him and draw out the experience so that when he comes, it’s intense and well-earned.
  17. Try sitting next to him rather than in front of him. Again, this is about switching up positions. His penis will hit different angles of your mouth if you take him in from beside him rather than below him.
  18. Feel free to get sloppy. Look, you’ve got a guy’s penis in your mouth. Now is not the time to be coy. Use as much spit and lube as you want. The sloppier, the better. The more slippery things are, the better they’ll feel.
  19. Plan ahead for where he’ll ejaculate. If you’re not going to swallow, you’ll need to know before you start going down on him where his spunk will go. Get a spare towel or another place for him to ejaculate when he’s ready. And make sure he knows to warn you when it’s time!
  20. Don’t forget to have fun with it. This might just be the best BJ tip of all. Sex should be fun and lighthearted. It’s all about bringing each other pleasure and sharing an intimate connection. Enjoy yourself!
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia
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