Why He’s Not Asking You Out & What You Can Do About It

There’s no doubt that dating would be a million times easier if we could read minds. But we’d inevitably end up hearing some stuff we didn’t want to hear too, so it’s probably best that the most we can do is make an educated guess as to why the guy we’ve be flirting with hasn’t asked us out yet. Short of taking the bull by the horns and asking him out yourself, there are few things you can do to communicate your interest without actually saying the words. If being subtle doesn’t work, making the first move can be your last resort before cutting your losses.

1. He’s just not that into you. If he’s the type of guy who goes after what he wants, and he’s not going after you, it’s pretty clear he doesn’t really want to.

Gameplan: Whatever you do, don’t try to twist yourself into a version of yourself you think he’ll like. If he doesn’t like you for you, he isn’t right for you anyway.

2. He wants to be sure you’ll say yes before he makes his move. No guy likes being rejected, so maybe he’s just taking the time to make sure you’re really interested before he puts himself out there.

Gameplan: This guy isn’t going to respond to subtlety. It’s time to bring out the big flirting guns and make it obvious that you’re into him.

3. He thinks you don’t like him. Are you still flirting like you did in the third grade where you roll your eyes at his attempts to be cute? Think back — he’s probably already left some hints that he wants to take you out, and you gave him the impression you weren’t open to it.

Gameplan: Acting like you don’t like him isn’t going to work like it did when you were in middle school. Throw the poor guy a bone. If he really likes you, he’ll try one more time.

4. He has his eye on someone else. If he’s into another girl it won’t matter that you’re practically throwing yourself at him, he’s not going to respond the way you want. He won’t want to give you the wrong idea, or screw up his chances with her.

Gameplan: Back off. Unrequited love isn’t worth anyone’s time, and you’ll end up making a fool of yourself. If it doesn’t work out with her, maybe he’ll end up noticing you later. But only if you play it cool for now.

5. He just got out of a relationship. The last thing a recently single person wants to do is worry about getting back into the dating game. If anything, he’s probably just looking for a quick and dirty rebound.

Gameplan: Give him some time and let him get the rebound thing out of his system with someone else. Unless that’s all you want from him anyway. In that case, just tell him you’re DTF.

6. He’s playing hard to get. This guy is used to having girls throw themselves at him. He has options, and he’s expecting you to do something to stand out.

Gameplan: You sure you want to date a guy who plays games? If you’re sure, it’s grand gesture time. Let him know you’re interested in no uncertain terms, and he’ll have no choice but to respond.

7. He’s too busy. After work he barely has enough time to eat, shower, and go to bed, so the last thing he’s thinking about is adding a girlfriend to the mix.

Gameplan: Continue on with your own busy life, but maybe try to ask him to hang out spontaneously and see how he responds. If he’s interested, he’ll jump at the chance, and it’ll take some of the pressure off him having to make time to plan a formal date.

8. He thinks you’re out of his league. In his mind, the chances of being rejected are a lot higher if he thinks he’s not good enough for you.

Gameplan: Make it clear you’d be open to going out with him. The lower the odds are of being rejected, the more likely it is he’ll make a move.

9. He’s too shy. Maybe he’s never asked a girl out before because the thought of doing so scares the crap out of him.

Gameplan: If he’s an otherwise decent guy, this may be the one time where it would be beneficial to make the first move. But if he never seems to realize he doesn’t have to be scared to ask you out, he might have deeper issues than a simple fear of rejection.

10. He wants to keep your friendship intact. If you’re close friends, he might not want to jeopardize that by attempting a romantic relationship. He also doesn’t need the humiliation of finding out his more-that-friends feelings for you are not mutual

Gameplan: If the sexual tension is palpable, it might be time for one of you to initiate a talk about your feelings. If you talk about it first, there will be a lot less danger of an unwelcome sexual advance when you’re both drunk.

11. He genuinely isn’t interested in dating right now. He may think you’re great, but for whatever reason he’s not interested in pursuing a relationship with you, or anyone, right now.

Gameplan: Respect his need for space, and keep living your life. If he changes his mind, he has your number.

12. There’s some kind of bro code loyalty stopping him. Did you already date his friend? Or is he friend’s with your brother? There are lines that some guys just won’t cross, and it’s going to take a lot more than mild flirting to convince him it’s okay.

Gameplan: Feel out whether the person standing in your way would have a problem with you dating this guy. If they give him the green light, he’ll no longer have a reason to ignore any feelings he has for you. But make sure to tread lightly — you don’t want to hurt someone else in your quest for a date.

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You can immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here

The best dating/relationships advice on the web – sponsored. If you’re reading this, check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here



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