10 Reasons To Suck It Up & Ask Him Out

If you’ve been looking for a sign to ask your crush out, here it is. There’s no reason to wait any longer when you have the ability to pick up your phone right now and ask him to dinner. Yes, it’s scary, but here are a few reasons to suck it up and ask him out already.

  1. It beats waiting around. Do you really want to spend your whole life sitting around, waiting for him to finally make a move? It’s better to know how he feels than to waste time wondering how he feels. Plus, if you don’t make your move, someone else might. That means he could end up taken before you even get a chance to show him how amazing you are.
  2. Men love women with confidence. If you ask a guy out, he’s going to think you’re a sexy beast. It takes guts to approach a man for a date, which is why it’ll be such a major turn-on for him. It shows that you’re not reliant on old-school tradition of letting guys lead. It also shows you back yourself enough to put yourself out there. That’s hot.
  3. The worst he can do is turn you down. If he politely turns you down when you ask him out, you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. If he laughs in your face, then he’s a loser you’re lucky you didn’t get the opportunity to date. If it doesn’t work out, so what? You know the old saying: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
  4. You’ll be able to move forward either way. If he agrees to go out with you, you can start your love story. If he turns you down, you can move on and find someone actually worth your while. There’s nothing worse than being stuck in limbo, so don’t let it happen.
  5. It’s the 21st century. There’s no rule that says that the man should ask the woman out. If he’s the shy one, then you should be the one to make the first move. Besides, women have been asking for equality for decades. This is another way we can claim it. Why should men get to call all the shots when it comes to relationships? If you want it, go get it.
  6. It’ll reduce your stress. It might sound terrifying to ask out your crush, but it’s way less stressful than analyzing every text message he sends you. Save yourself some trouble by asking how he feels, so you don’t have to play detective.
  7. He deserves to know. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, he’ll be flattered to find out that you like him. After all, it’s a huge compliment. He could be harboring feelings for you too but feel too nervous to voice them. In this case, he’ll be over the moon to realize that he actually has a chance with you
  8. You’ll regret it if you don’t. How would you feel if he started dating someone new tomorrow? The only way to prevent that from happening is by asking him out today. You don’t want to look back months or years from now and wonder what could have happened. Find out by taking action.
  9. It’s healthy to go after what you want. It doesn’t matter if you’re pining after a guy or trying to land a certain job. If you want something, you need to put in effort in order to get it. Ask him out and you might be pleasantly surprised by what he says.
  10. You know you want to. Come on. Admit that you’re itching to ask him out. It’s all you can think about to the point that it’s become an obsession. Just go for it!

Here’s what it’s like to ask him out first

man and woman drinking beer

provided by iStock

Drumming up the courage to express interest in a guy you like isn’t easy, but it’s usually ultimately worth it (even if you don’t end up together). Here’s what it’s like if you’ve never done it before.

  1. It’s terrifying at first. Asking a guy out, whether in person or online, is pretty scary. There are no two ways about it. You’re going to be shaking and wishing you could disappear and it will feel like you’re waiting for him to reply for years and years. Once he says yes (and he probably will unless he’s a total loser), you’ll wonder why you were so scared in the first place.
  2. It takes huge guts. After the ask, you will feel powerful and confident. You will love yourself even more than you already do. You’ll wonder why you don’t ask guys out all the time (oh yeah, because it’s hard to find people you actually want to go out with – that’s why).
  3. It’s kind of annoying. “Why didn’t he just ask me out if he was going to say yes?” When you ask a guy out, you’re going to be asking yourself this question. You won’t really have the answer unless you’re a.) a mind-reader or b.) you ask him and neither of those things are going to happen. Maybe he’s shy or afraid of rejection or unable to read your signals (sigh).
  4. It becomes second nature. The first few times you take control of your dating life, you’ll feel pretty weird. You’ll wonder why you’re even bothering and feel like it takes too much effort. Then something will click and you’ll get so used to it, it’ll become second nature. Being able to go for what (or who) you want is an awesome trait to have.
  5. It’s empowering. Reversing traditional gender roles is pretty awesome. It shows you and him that you’re not interested in what society thinks guys and girls should do. You’ll also prove to him that you’re a confident woman. That you like to take charge and that he’ll never be able to push him around. Sure, it may seem like a friendly “want to grab a drink sometime?” but that little question has a lot of meaning behind it.
  6. It’s a nice thing to do. Putting yourself out there when you might be completely rejected (or, worse, ignored) is difficult. It’s no wonder guys get tired of making the first move all the time. If you’re clearly getting along with a guy, he probably wants to ask you out, so you might as well go easy on him and ask. It’s a nice thing to do and who knows, you could both find love.
  7. It’s necessary. So you’re chatting… and chatting… and chatting with a seemingly cool, sweet, smart guy. He’s not asking you out. You have two options: ghost him and move on, or do the asking yourself. Sometimes being the one to make the first move is totally necessary when you’re looking for love these days.
  8. It’s not for the faint of heart. Not every woman can ask someone out, and that’s OK. You should never do something if it makes you feel uncomfortable. But you might consider trying it sometime – what’s the worst that can happen?
  9. It happens more often than you think. Who knows why modern dating means talking seemingly endlessly without the guy asking you out. That’s a mystery of the universe and not a very good one. Even if you think we’re all still living in the dark ages and the man can only do the asking, chances are if you look at any happy couple, the woman did the asking.
  10. It should be reciprocated. There are no issues with you asking a guy out… the first time. Call me old-fashioned, but when it comes to the second time around, I totally believe that the guy can show how he feels by suggesting you go out again. Otherwise you’re left wondering if he’s only continuing to say yes because you keep asking. If you’ve been down that road before, you know it leads nowhere but total confusion.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.