Why Love Dies In A Relationship Even Though You Thought It Never Would

When you’re in a long-term relationship, you probably think (or at least hope) it’s going to last forever. Your connection is so strong and you love them so much that you can’t even imagine a time when they wouldn’t be in your life. Unfortunately, even the most passionate and intense relationships sometimes fade and the love dies. Here’s why things go wrong.

  1. One or both of you stopped trying. While in a perfect world, things would stay fresh forever without us ever having to lift a finger in our relationship, but that’s not how things work in the real world. You have to continually be putting in the effort — both of you — to keep your relationship thriving. When you get complacent and stop working together to keep your relationship in good health, it won’t be long before love dies.
  2. You grew apart rather than together. If you met really young or you’ve been together a long time, it’s possible that as you’ve grown and evolved in different ways from one another. Life is all about becoming the best version of ourselves, and sometimes that process puts distance between ourselves and the people we love. As a result, the love naturally dies in your relationship because you can’t find things in each other to connect with as well anymore. It’s painful but it happens.
  3. You were never really compatible long-term. It’s very easy to get caught up in the immediate chemistry with someone and believe that it’s true love when in reality, you’re two very different people — too different to last long-term. Of course, you won’t realize that until the honeymoon period is over and you settle back into reality. When you want completely different things and have completely different lifestyles, it’s no wonder the love dies in your relationship and you end up breaking up.
  4. Someone cheated or betrayed the other. It goes without saying that your relationship will struggle to survive infidelity or betrayal. Once the trust is gone, it’s nearly impossible to rebuild. No matter how much you want to forgive and forget, it’s always going to be at the back of your mind and it will affect you. Before long, the love between you dies and the resentment builds and soon enough, your relationship is over.
  1. The communication is nonexistent. How can you expect to have a thriving relationship when you never talk? Communication is not only vital to stay close but also to solve small issues before they become massive ones. When you’re not talking, you might as well not even be together. Everything gets muddled and messed up and the relationship you love just dies.
  2. All you do is argue and it’s bred contempt. The more time you spend with someone, the more likely you are to bicker and have mini arguments. This is normal and not really a big deal, especially if both of you get over things quickly and you’re not fighting about big issues. However, if you’re constantly arguing with your partner to the point that you start to legitimately hate them, it won’t be long before the love dies (if it’s not dead already) and your relationship crashes and burns.
  3. Neither of you can take criticism without being defensive. Not only do you need to communicate regularly to solve your relationship issues, you also need to be able to tell your partner when they do something hurtful, annoying, rude, etc. If you guys can’t be upfront with each other in this way without the other person becoming defensive and projecting back onto the other person, you might as well break up now.
  4. You’re taking each other for granted. Love dies in a relationship pretty easily when you don’t feel like you’re appreciated and cared for by your partner. When you feel like you put a lot of effort into your relationship and you get nothing in return, not even a “thanks,” you start to wonder why you’re even together anymore. Chances are, you won’t be for much longer.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia