Men are weird as hell — they say they’re looking for their perfect woman, and then when they find her, they push her away. It’s a mind-boggling scenario that defies explanation, but there are actually reasons for it. Here’s why this happens. It doesn’t make dealing with it any easier, but it should provide some explanation.
1. They’re terrified of commitment.
Some men push away the perfect woman because they’re scared of commitment. It’s not that they don’t recognize the woman’s value; it’s more about their own apprehensions. The thought of long-term commitment can be daunting, and for some, it triggers a fear of losing their independence or facing future responsibilities. This fear often leads them to pull back just when things are getting serious.
It’s a defense mechanism, really. By distancing themselves, they avoid facing their fears head-on. They might worry about not being ready for a serious relationship or question their ability to be a good partner, leading them to back away even from someone who seems perfect for them.
2. They have a lot of past relationship trauma.
Past experiences can significantly impact how a man approaches new relationships. If he’s been hurt before, he might be wary of opening up again. The perfect woman might come along, but the fear of repeating past pains can make him push her away. He’s protecting himself from potential heartache, but in doing so, he might be missing out on something great.
These past experiences can cause him to misinterpret signals or overreact to certain situations, creating issues where there aren’t any. It’s a self-defense strategy that unfortunately can sabotage potentially wonderful relationships.
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4. Their life goals are different from yours.
At times, it’s not about fears or past traumas; it’s simply a matter of different life goals. A man might meet a woman who seems perfect in many ways, but if their visions for the future don’t align, he might choose to step back. It could be differing views on career paths, family planning, or lifestyle choices.
When long-term goals don’t match up, it can be a practical decision to end things early. It’s about recognizing that compatibility goes beyond mutual attraction and involves aligning on key life decisions.
5. The Timing Isn’t Right.
Sometimes the reason is as simple as bad timing. He might be dealing with personal issues, career changes, or other life events that make it a bad time to enter a serious relationship. It’s not about the woman not being perfect for him; it’s just that he’s not in the right place to give what a relationship deserves.
In these situations, pushing away the perfect woman is more about recognizing the need to sort out his own life first. It’s an acknowledgment that he needs to be in a better place personally before he can fully commit to someone else.
6. They’re afraid of losing their freedom.
For some men, commitment equates to a loss of freedom. The idea of settling down can feel like they’re giving up their independence. This fear can make them push away a woman who is otherwise perfect for them. They worry about losing their autonomy, their ability to make spontaneous decisions, or their personal space.
This fear often stems from a misunderstanding of what a committed relationship entails. It’s about finding a balance between personal freedom and being part of a couple, which can be a tricky line to navigate for some.
7. They’re overthinking the relationship.
Overanalyzing every aspect of the relationship can also lead to pushing away the perfect woman. Some men might scrutinize every interaction, conversation, and feeling, which can create unnecessary stress and anxiety. This overthinking can lead to doubts and fears that may not even be grounded in reality.
It’s a case of the mind playing tricks, where overthinking leads to creating problems that don’t exist, causing them to back away from a relationship that could have been fulfilling and happy.
8. You struggle with communication.
Effective communication is key in any relationship, but not everyone is a pro at it. Some men might find it hard to express their feelings and needs, leading to misunderstandings and frustrations. When they can’t communicate effectively, they might feel it’s easier to pull away rather than face the challenges of expressing themselves. This struggle can make them push away a woman who might seem perfect but with whom they can’t seem to share their deeper thoughts and feelings.
It’s not that they don’t want to communicate; it’s more about not knowing how to. This gap in communication skills can create a barrier that feels insurmountable, leading them to step back instead of working through it.
9. They feel pressured to be perfect.
Ironically, the idea of being with the ‘perfect’ woman can create immense pressure. Some men might feel they need to live up to a certain standard or play a particular role to match her perceived perfection. This pressure can be overwhelming, making them doubt their ability to meet expectations, even if these expectations are self-imposed or imagined.
In these scenarios, the fear of not being good enough or failing to meet these standards can lead them to end things preemptively. It’s a self-defense mechanism against the fear of eventual rejection or failure.
10. They want to focus on personal growth.
In some cases, a man might feel he needs to grow individually before committing to a relationship, even with someone who seems perfect for him. He might have personal goals, aspirations, or areas of self-improvement he wants to focus on first. The thought process here is about becoming the best version of himself before getting seriously involved with someone else.
This decision often comes from a place of self-awareness and a desire to bring more to the relationship once he’s ready. It’s not about the woman not being right; it’s more about timing and personal development.
11. They feel unworthy.
Sometimes, men push away the perfect woman because they don’t feel worthy of her. They might think she’s too good for them, and this feeling of inadequacy can be overwhelming. Instead of facing these insecurities, they might find it easier to end things before they get more serious.
This sense of unworthiness can stem from a variety of issues – personal insecurities, past failures, or even societal pressures. It’s a complex mix of self-esteem and self-worth issues that can make a man feel like he’s not enough for the woman he admires.
