Why You Should Never Chase Anyone, No Matter How Much You Like Them

Who wants to chase someone? You deserve better than that. You deserve someone who shows up for you just like you show up for them. If they make you play games, making you run after them to give you the smallest hint of attention, then they definitely aren’t worth it. Live your life and stop chasing.

  1. Playing hard to get isn’t cute anymore. Maybe at one point, you thought playing hard to get was a good idea on the giving or receiving end. You thought it was hot. Also, maybe you were 16. Now it’s just not cute anymore. It never really was, but especially as an adult, you shouldn’t take any of that crap. Anyone who’s still in this phase is clearly immature and has some problems.
  2. Don’t try to fill in the blanks or make excuses. Part of you may just think that they’re really busy and that’s why they aren’t getting back to you. Perhaps you make excuses for them, their work and hobbies. None of this is helpful because you shouldn’t be filling in the blanks. You should just be noticing the blanks and then running for the hills when you find there are a lot of them.
  3. Believe people when they show you who they are. Instead of making excuses for them, why don’t you take the situation for what it is? They haven’t called you back and this is the third time it’s happened. Once there may be an excuse, but when it becomes a pattern, you have to recognize it. People will show you what they’re all about, believe them when they do.
  4. You deserve someone who’s equally as excited as you are. You don’t need to chase this chump. If they were in it, you’d know it. Instead, know that you deserve someone who is just as amped as you are to be dating. They should show their excitement through their actions and demeanor. You won’t have to chase your tail, hoping that the other person finally pays attention to you. You deserve better than that.
  5. There will be someone who will show up. Don’t fret, you’re not doomed to a life of chasing people who aren’t good for you. If you’re open to it and you make space in your life, eventually someone who can show up for you will appear. They may seem like a unicorn at this point, but if you’re finally walking away from those you’re chasing, then you open up a door of opportunity for the right person to come.
  6. Don’t get discouraged by others not showing up. Others’ absence isn’t a reflection of your worth. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong or that you’re unlovable. Try not to let their actions dictate how you feel about yourself. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s still worth telling yourself. The only thing that their actions say is what kind of person they are and what they want, it has little to do with you.
  7. Forgive yourself for chasing in the past. You won’t get anywhere if you’re beating yourself up about what you’ve done. Instead of doing this, try having some forgiveness for yourself. You were doing the best you could at the time with what you knew. Now you’re growing and you can leave chasing people who are unavailable in the past.
  8. They may come back when you’re not chasing. One thing to note is that some people want to be chased. They’re playing a game. When you don’t give them what they want, they may become curious about you. They may start to pay more attention to you. Don’t fall into this trap. From the beginning, they’ve shown you who they are. Remember to believe them.
  9. Maintain your dignity and say no. If they do come back, it’s important to give them a firm no. You’re not interested. You’re saving yourself for someone who will meet you exactly where you are. You aren’t going to engage with this person any further. Trust me, you’ll feel a lot better about yourself if you’re able to just say no. If you aren’t, be gentle with yourself. It’s challenging to break life-long patterns.
  10. You have better things to do. In sum, you have a life to live and you don’t need to waste any moments chasing someone who isn’t chasing you back. Spend time with your friends, crush it at your job, and enjoy your hobbies. You don’t want to miss out on it all because you’re too focused on why someone isn’t interested in you.
Ginelle has been writing professionally for more than six years and has a bachelor’s degree in digital marketing & design. Her writing has appeared on Birdie, Thought Catalog, Tiny Buddha and more. You can follow her on Instagram @ginelletesta, via her Facebook page, or through her website at ginelletesta.com.